Grief

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(Edited)

Remember when you first experienced grief?

We associate the word with the loss of a loved one, but grief comes in many forms.

As a tiny tot, do you remember being heartbroken when you lost or accidentally broke a treasured toy? Mom or Dad would be there to comfort you, or a sister/ brother.
Grannies and grandpas also know just how to comfort one, even when we're all grown up, not so!
I remember Mom Lily telling me how heartbroken my nephew was as he had been naughty and Mom and Dad told him off. He was really tiny, and it was dark outside when Mom heard sobbing and a little knock on the door of the cottage they lived in on my brother's property. In between the sobs he kept on saying -

They're ugly to me!

All he wanted was for his Ouma to comfort him and tell him that he's not such a bad boy and that Mom and Dad would not be angry forever;)

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Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

My nephew and Mom Lily had a special bond; he would send her sunflowers for her birthday, and flew all the way from Minnesota a couple of weeks before she passed on to her forever home.

I can think of many other kinds of grief - the breakup with your first boyfriend, the loss of a friendship because of a misunderstanding, when a best friend moves to another city/ province/ or even worse, another country, makes us long for the good times! Losing a pet is like losing part of one's family, leaving an empty space in one's life.
Even retirement can bring a form of grief for many, as we say goodbye to a place and people we used to spend most of our days with!

The above mostly are short-lived, as we adjust easily to those kinds of losses!

Grieving after a divorce can take a long time to heal, but the most intense grief is when we lose a loved one to death. I've had to deal with a couple of those and most unexpectedly through horrific circumstances.

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Hubby and I took care of Mom Lily who suffered terribly in the end, but she was holding on to see those close to her, but I also believe she was preparing me for the day she closes her eyes forever.
Her speech was badly affected and I could barely understand her last words to me, but realized she was saying -

I am going now.

The death of a parent or one's life partner is very difficult to process, but losing a child must be the most unbearable grief, as our friends whose home was partially destroyed in April by a mudslide, said to us the day after it happened -

The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to lose a child, so losing our home is nothing, as it can be rebuilt; but nothing will bring our child back!

Those words really touched a chord, as my mom had to deal with the unexpected loss of two of her children, my brothers.
Mom was devastated, but once the initial grieving process softened a little, her upbeat and cheeky character resurfaced, even though that loss stayed with her to the end!

Hubby kept in touch with a very special work colleague, who I also got to know well when we were both Batho Pele (People First) representatives of our respective departments.
As hubby opened up his Whatsapp this morning, there was a message from this dear and gentle soul's sister saying he had passed on just this morning. We were both shocked and saddened, as he was type of person who made time for everyone, one always had to have a cup of tea with him, and laugh at all the stories he had to tell. He was a Springbok Radio historian who gave many talks on this once popular radio station until television came to South Africa in 1976! He has left a deep hole in the hearts of many.

During the grieving process, all we have are memories, and that's what we need to remember!

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Khalil Gibran.


Original Content by @lizelle
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29 comments
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Sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Lizzie, he may have left everyone but I'm sure he will remain in everyone's heart.

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Oh that he will for sure, an entertaining and charming soul with a warm heart; loved whispering little tidbits of scandal in one's ear. Thank you for your kind words @livinguktaiwan xxx

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How touching and incredibly coincidental @lizelle , I got word today that my nephew 3 yrs younger than I, passed at 1:53 AM this very morning.
He had been in the hospital since last Monday with end stage COPD.
I haven't SEEN him in person in many years, but I've always been close with my sisters family. Now, she is 89 yrs old with severe COPD (who has stated she can't stand living now in that wrecked body an is ready to go) and only the eldest and youngest of her children still live.
Grief is alive today

↑Upvoted↑and←Reblogged→

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Hi @jerrytsuseer, my sincere condolences on the loss of your nephew. I only now checked through my replies & missed many on this post.
My thoughts are with your dear sister, it must be so hard to see her suffering like that & having yo deal with the loss of her child.

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Thank you @lizelle dear friend.
Since I don't have any children, I can't really understand that feeling of loss, but on the other hand, I'm the youngest of ten, so I get to watch those that were the adults in my family while I was growing up dropping one by one, so to see one younger than me fall away is especially telling.
I think some of them may be put out with me, because I didn't make it to his 'celebration of life' 2 wks after his passing.
It is a little more than 3 hours driving from here, and I don't do those kinds of interactions well.
but in point of fact, I forgot, as I have quite a lot going on in my own life right now.

Thank you for the kind words and the tip. I really appreciate it all. !luv

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So sorry about this.. it saddens so much

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The feeling of a loss in any form bring griefs. But that's true that there might not be a grief more than losing one's child. I have seen people badly effected at the loss of their child even though they apparently composed themselves. Deep inside there is a void that can never be filled.

I am sorry to hear about your friend's death. May God rest his soul in peace. Death is inevitable and for every living being. This is a grief that the people behind the dying ones have to face

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I'm so sorry I only now went through all my replies, had missed yours.
Thank you so much for your kind words @amberkashif🙏🏻
The loss of a child must be the worst thing to happen to anyone, our friends lost their daughter 2 years ago on this day & both are understandably still battling to come to terms with it.

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I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, Lizzie. And it is so true that when we lose someone dear to us, what we are left with are memories. And it is those memories, especially the good ones, that we must hold on to and that will help us to go on without that dear person. 🤗

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(Edited)

Thank you Eli, we had not seen him for a long while and hubby wondered why the messages stopped but we were so busy with all the happenings of this year, that he didn't call him and that makes me even more sad. We watched his memorial service via YouTube streaming today and there were so many wonderful tributes that the minister said it feels like he's doing a service for a celebrity! He was much loved by many, and brought joy wherever he went. He really left fond memories for many!
Even his dog attended the service, sat quietly throughout, that must have been his request, very typical of him. He also requested that they release white doves into the air before his white casket was put into the hearse & driven away. A Scottish piper played the bagpipes when they took him into and out of the church. He was one who loved things to be done in style, and his sister made sure his last goodbye was done as such! Heaven really gained an angel.💔

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Hi, Lizzie!
Lately, life seems to run over us a bit. I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend, it is a pity but what a satisfaction to know that he was so loved and that he was honored by those who appreciated and loved him. And surely you now have another angel in heaven to protect you.

I hope all goes well there. Happy weekend!😊🤗🌻

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The feeling of loss , especially love ones is more than what we can explain with a single word

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Very true, thank you for your kind words 🙏

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This weekend I was thinking a lot about that word and talked to a couple of people about it, this year I lost a dear friend and everything reminds me of her. I have thought that the young people of today do not live the mourning as they used to, after three days they go out partying and forget the pain. I still remember my friend and I am only consoled by the good memories we lived.

I know you are a person of good feelings, I hope your heart will soon recover and move forward.

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Thank you for the kind words @carolinacardoza, I only now checked all my replies & had missed yours! You're right, we need to remember the goid memories 🙏🏻

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I a so sorry for your friend, Lizelle @lizelle. I wish I had the right words at this time, but there are none... only my heartfelt thoughts that I am glad that you ha come to know such a person who invaded your soul.

My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

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Thank you so much @dswigle, and I must apologize, it's more than a month ago and I'm only now going through replies I missed.
He was one of those rare souls we meet in life & who leave an indelible mark in our lives. Life goes on and at least the good memories remain!
Wishing you a wonderful weekend Denise.

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You are so thoughtful and kind. Most would have left it unanswered so old. You are one in a million. XO

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Good day @lizelle, so sorry for yet another loss. That was a heart-felt post my friend, beautifully written. The memories are all we are left with but somehow over time they seem to get sweeter.

I don't know how though you can ever get over the loss of a child, it's a punch in the gut that lasts forever. Your mom sounds like she was an amazing person, a wonderful example to us all.

Be at peace today, cherish the sweet memories.

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Thank you so much dear @farm-mom, your words mean so much to me! I was only now checking all my replies & nust apologize, but June was another eventful month!
You're so right, the memories stay with us forever and I am so thankful for that.
Enjoy your weekend 😘

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My dear friend @lizelle, you are a special person with a heart of gold, I may not write as often as I should, but you and a small handful of hive friends are always in my thoughts and yes, prayers. I am comforted in praying, even if it's just sending love through the airwaves. May your days get brighter.
You never have to apologize to me; I feel you girlfriend.
Much Love, Robin

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Awe thank you for that Robin💞 Same sentiments from me, I feel so blessed to have met you & thebigsweed across the airwaves. You and a couple of other special souls here on Hive are part of my circle of friends and always in my thoughts.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Much love from me as well ❤

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@lizelle So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Yes - grief is something that we can not avoid in life and it comes in many forms. However, as you say, loss of a loved one is the hardest to face.

During the grieving process, all we have are memories, and that's what we need to remember!
This is exactly right. When my father passed away, I was devastated but memories of the time with him helped me to recompose myself.
Thanks for this wonderful and sensitive post.

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Thank you for your thoughtful response @vm2904, and my apologies for the late response, I only now checked through all my replies & missed a number on this post.
Yes we can rightly say, thank you for the memories.🙏🏻

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