Thirty Years - Three Things that Shaped my Life: Life's Lessons

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(Edited)

This week's #bow has been real challenging - Thirty Years - three things that shaped my life.
I have already lived through six decades and currently in my seventh. There have been many many things that have shaped my life in a big way, so I've tried to choose three that had the biggest impact on my life!

One lesson all the people I have crossed paths with have taught me, is to have Compassion, as we cannot tell what others have gone through in their walks of life!

Second Decade - Career Choice

So I started thinking about each decade, and the very first and most important event took place during the second decade of my life and that was when I turned down the opportunity of becoming a teacher.
How could turning down an opportunity possibly be something that shaped my life?

Oh, I had big dreams of becoming a concert pianist; went for piano lessons and would feel quite down if I missed a day of playing the piano, but that dream was never fulfilled.

I still have that old piano, but it's in desperate need of restoration; some of the notes are dead and I was told that I should rather buy a modern piano, but I'm a sentimentalist and that ancient piano that used to stand in a gracious old farmhouse, many moons ago, where my parents bought it, will remain in my living room!

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I was accepted at the teacher's training college but another more exciting opportunity arose - an apprenticeship as a draughtswoman in a professional land surveyor's drawing office.

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The latter was my choice and one that I never regretted as I certainly would not have met the love of my life and not have had the two most beautiful little baby boys in the whole wide world who grew up into awesome young men, beautiful on the inside as well!

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I made very special lifelong friends who have all helped shape my life and enriched it by choosing this career path.
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Third Decade - A Tragic Loss Changes me Forever

To say the suicide of my twenty six year old brother in the third decade of my life, had a huge influence on the years to follow, is an understatement.
I was his big sister and always felt protective over him when we were growing up and would never in my wildest nightmares dreams have thought he would take his own life.
He was super talented but the separation between him and his wife plus their two little girls, was too much for him.
They were living in another province and none of us had a clue that he was going through depression.
Back in those days this condition was not understood; the person would be told to 'snap out of it'!
I was one of those who thought that way.
My brother was visiting my parents to spend Christmas with them, but also hoping for a reconciliation as his estranged wife and the little girls were visiting her parents who lived around the corner, but that never happened.

I will never forget the knock on the door at 4:30am and seeing my parents and my three younger brothers at the door and Mom just hugged me and we then heard the awful news.
Somehow our telephone did not ring that fateful night, so I was unable to say goodbye at the hospital.
I never saw my brother again as I wanted to remember him still full of life.

That shock caused physical health issues which led to a clinical depression - I lost my zest for life and swallowed anti-depressants for many years.

Music, walking and special friends and family kept me sane as I felt like I was drowning; never ever want to go through that agony again.

Sudden deaths seem to be a thing in our family as both my Dad and my second youngest brother died suddenly within three months of each other; both still active and seemingly healthy!
That happened the year I reached my half century mark.

The murder death of my favourite uncle who was my closest confidante and more like an older brother was something that made me sad and very angry at the same time!

Odd it may sound, that tragedy was an event that I believe got me onto the path of healing.
I honestly believe my uncle was leading me from the other side, as I then went to a very wise homeopath who was a clinical psychologist as well.
Thereafter an old school friend called out the blue and asked if I would go to transcendental meditation classes with her.
This was a time of healing and I've never taken an anti-depressant again!


Seventh Decade - Retirement leads to a new Business Venture plus Hive enters my Life

So...I was quite cheesed-off when I had to retire as the big corporation where I was employed, do not allow one to work once you reach a certain date; I call it their sell-by-date.

I have told the story of what happened post-retirement many times here on Hive, so will keep it short and sweet.

I turned our empty cottage into an Airbnb using very little finance as it was already fully furnished and only needed extra little touches and some new appliances.

This soon turned into a full-time business as I bumped into a local guesthouse owner who subtly warned me that I could get reported if I don't register with the municipality.

Little did she know that she actually did me a favour instead of frightening me off, as we are now the bnb with the highest review rating overall in our area.

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Becoming a small business owner has been a huge learning curve and a load of hard work; in the beginning we pumped everything back into sprucing up our bnb, but it has been so worth it as we have met the most amazing people from all over the world as well as locals from all walks of life and the extra income has helped us maintain our large home and allows us little luxuries now and then plus we're able to travel locally and enjoy the natural beauty of South Africa!

Confession Time - Hive becomes my obsession

I have to add one last thing that has shaped my life during this seventh decade, and that is blogging here on Hive, where I can talk about anything and everything plus share my love of cooking and baking, although I've not done much of the latter lately as starting the Silver Bloggers Community kept me really busy in the beginning, plus some hectic RL issues this past year!


Hubby and I in our Silver years; he is the one who keeps me on track and reminds me to slow down!

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Thank you to all my new friends here on Hive for listening to all my stories and remember there still are a couple of hours left to enter this week's #bow - Thirty Years - three things that shaped my life.!

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25 comments
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Ah, Lizelle, the bittersweet circles of life, hey? Great post and you know, each time you tell the same stories, you tell them slightly differently. It's good. I'm so glad you joined Hive and started this community!

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(Edited)

Very bittersweet, I almost did not tell this story as it brought back those bad memories all at the same time, but fortunately there were many more good ones intertwined.
Thank you for your help with SBC, I could not have continued without you!❤

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So so so sorry about the sudden death of your brothers, about turning down the offer of being a teacher! I guess that wasn't your call, it was a nice decision, Because, forcing yourself and going for something you do not like, is bad.

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Thank you so much for your kind comments, yes it turned out to be the right decision!

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Dear Silver Blond, you are one of my favorite authors, I couldn't imagine the feeling of losing someone so close and it can bring an effect on your health too. No wonder my mom felt like she's so sick and powerless after her sister passed away one by one naturally and now she only has her eldest sister. Thanks for sharing this.. I learn something important today

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(Edited)

Awe @cicisaja, you have no idea how heartwarming your words are, you are one of the sweetest friends here on Hive. I'm so glad you're back and that you're here with us crazy oldies! I can imagine the heartache your Mom went through, so tragic!
Thank you for being you!

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So many deaths and so many heartbreaks Lizzie, and I can't imagine how you managed to pull through, not knowing how your little brother was feeling.

I'm so glad you crafted out a new journey for yourself after your sell by date. Onwards and upwards!!

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I almost left out that heartbreak but my brother's suicide affected our whole family, Mom of course the worst and my brother who was two years his junior, they were very close!
So telling it all in this one story was not easy, I had nightmares last night but I feel better now as it's not good bottling things up, we try and avoid talking about death especially suicide.
Thankfully I've been blessed with awesome family and friends who have helped make good memories.
Thank you for that last bit, onwards and upwards as that's what we're here for not so. ❤

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Good to see you improve, friend @lizelle, making your publications, I am very happy. There are many things that happen to us and we do not find which one to prioritize since they are all important in our life. Thank you for sharing one more time about your beautiful life. Blessings to you.

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Thank you for your kind words @isabelpena, my life has been beautiful despite the sad times, like many of us not so!

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(Edited)

Thank you for your lovely story @lizelle, our lives are all uniquely shaped as we flow through life. So many life lessons that never stop. I really love your small business venture with your bnb, brilliant idea for an income and a wonderful way to meet so many people from around the world. Love your energetic zest and enthusiasm for life @lizelle.💜

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Thanks @angiemitchell, the bnb was the best decision ever, I'm actually sorry we didn't start it sooner as we now see more changes that we can do and have space for more guests as we have to turn away some of our regulars because we only have 2 self catering units.
Life is full of lessons and we never stop learning not so!

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Death was really a tragedy, your journey in life so far is a positive motivation to the younger generation.

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I'm so glad that my story has motivated you @blackman15, death is not easy to deal with but someone very wise told my Mom that we simply have to get on with the job of living, and I'll never forget those words.
Thank you for stopping by.

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Dear @lizelle I read you story and i felt how tragic moment you had when your brother suicide due to depression even sudden death of your Dad and another brother. You would be one of the strongest women to fight with all agony .

I become fond of your decesion about not replacing that old dead piano which your dad gifted you. The notes was not clear but you still used it until now .

In Seventy decades , You start your journey on hive that was too awesome .I loved your contents which is completely pure and expressed by your heart.

Wish you become always top author in silver blogger community.

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You are too sweet @sand126, thank you for the encouragement and the insight, I really appreciate it!
Wish you well with your Hive journey as well.

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Wow..
You have really had it all both good and sad moments @lizelle .
Don't worry im sure you were really a supportive sister.
Its just that some things happen sometimes.
I love how you happy you and your spouse are i pray i find someone ill last with like you do.
I am also happy hive has come into your life as well and you are well engaged.
Thank you for sharing your story with us..

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Thank you for the kind words and encouragement, I do hope you also find someone special and that you spend many happy years together!

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What an inspiring life you've led! You have tenacity, creativity, and have not let life get the best of you. I hope I can keep my gumption throughout these next couple of decades. I'm very sorry about your brother. I can't even imagine how tough that was.

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Thank you Eric, this means a lot to me! Life certainly is full of ups and downs, as long as we hold onto the belief that the sun will rise again when we're going through the dark times. You have the wisdom and have been such encouragement for so many of us and deserve the very best! My thoughts are with you!

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You're welcome! Optimism is so important, it can make all of the difference. Thank you Lizelle!

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My dear friend I am sorry you have to go through the sad moments of your brother suicide. Families are eternal and I am sure you will see them again. We don't know why he did it, sometimes feelings are difficult to encounter. Be happy, there is a better life after this one.

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What an adventure your life. I'm sure a lot of other interesting things happened during these years.

What impressed me the most was your third decade, that of the big losses, those that hurt immensely, unexpected or unlikely they come up always as a huge wound in our hurts and minds. I had also a very similar third decade but I'm not going to shadow your story.

The thing is that those impacting events may become an opportunity for us to take out our best or the worst. It's a matter of how we face life. It can "catch" you for a while the mourning time like if you where in a bad dream but it's you who decide to remain there or head off and keep walking to fully live.

I saw many people that couldn't come off the past and are still spinning around the pain they suffered. That's not healthy and prevents you from enjoying the good things that for sure will appear. Life is like that, a balance between bad and good times in which you can creatively find your path to happiness. But I'm no one to tell you what life is all about.

Your post is a practical lesson on that subject, one that you mastered and shared gently with us.

By the way, love that piano. Hope that you keep playing it, it's worth in my opinion to fix those little issues as well as a bit of a tune work for it to bright not only outside but inside too.

I won't extend this too much or I should rething it all and make my own post haha.

Hugs

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