A particularly ordinary story about a unique and unforgettable character.

avatar

Match your shoes, to your belt, to your pants, to your shirt, to your beanie to your socks you might just change your world..png

It was a particularly ordinary day, at a particularly ordinary time, when Lionel made a decision. He was sitting on his couch, doing something particularly ordinary, when he jumped up and exclaimed, “I’m going to be a unique and unforgettable character! When I walk down the street, people will remember me!” After a lifetime of blending into the crowd and, not quite sure how he was going to reinvent himself, he sat back on his couch to give this some thought.

It was then that a particularly brilliant idea roused his imagination. When it first came upon him, he shifted his eyes to the right and pursed his lips in thought. His face muscles tensed, and he began to nod. He realised, despite the absence of fanfare, that all he needed was a new look. Lionel, ever pragmatic, turned to his laptop and began to search for trending celebrities.

Ever pragmatic, Lionel dismissed images of shirtless men whose bodies rippled with an intimidating sheen. He then decided to also dismiss images of men in tight pants; ever pragmatic, Lionel understood his own limitations. The brilliance of his idea did not dull, however, and spurred him on through pages of searches which took him down many tangents, diversions, digressions and deviations!

And then Lionel paused – he wondered if he’d finally found his elixir. Was this the mithridatium of his own despair? He hovered his mouse over the title of an article, ‘How to impress women by matching your shoes to your belt’. Lionel continued to hesitate, he felt he may have just stumbled across an article which would change his life. But was he ready? He wasn’t sure a woman had ever noticed his existence; how could he possibly cope with copious attention? He began to imagine women literally throwing themselves in front of him as he pushed his trolley through the supermarket and calling out offensive remarks about his buttocks from cars which drove past him on his afternoon stroll. He would certainly be living on the edge given the safety issues the imaginings presented! He had only ever frequented a bar once before, but he could start to see woman after woman offering to buy him a drink. Again, he had to wonder, was he ready?

He was. Lionel clicked the article and took note of the fashion advice – it was, as the title suggested, all about matching your belt and your shoes. Lionel reflected on the simplicity of the advice and then it hit him. He would take the basic principle and extrapolate it. He would match everything! ‘Brilliant!’ he shouted! He wasn’t the kind of man who could offer a cackling laugh as the expression of his plotting was thought through though, but he did smile as he continued to sit on his couch.

His next step was logical. He needed to audit his wardrobe, and so he powered down his laptop and embarked on his voyage into what he now called, ‘The abyss of fashion’. First, he picked out his only pair of lace up shoes. They were a pair of black leather shoes he had worn to a wedding a number of years earlier; they were perfect! He was a bit thrown, however, when he realised that his only belt was tan brown. Ever pragmatic, however, Lionel took the belt back to his study where he found his permanent marker, taking a couple of minutes to colour the belt black with the pen. ‘Aha!’ he exclaimed when he finished, proceeding to flourish a black belt about him!

Walking back to his wardrobe Lionel was feeling great with the progress he was making. He’d achieved the first part of his brilliant plan and was onto the extrapolation! He quickly found a pair of black track pants and took them from his pile, and he was satisfied when he completed the look with a black t-shirt. Lionel undressed, and re-dressed all in black; feeling fortunate to find a pair of black socks in his drawer and a black beanie which he didn’t recall ever wearing before. He looked in the mirror and thought he looked curious, but he quickly admonished himself, who was he to question fashion advice he found online?

He winked at his own reflection in the mirror and spoke in a way which he imagined women might think was suggestive, ‘Hello, my name is Lionel. Yes, I would like you to buy me a drink’. He winked again at his reflection and he was struct by a fantastical thought: one day he would be sitting on his couch, and next to him, would be sitting his new lady friend. Driven by the fantasy, Lionel walked briskly from his wardrobe mirror to his front door, where he stood, breathed in and then breathed out. He was on the precipice of changing his world. But would the world take note of him?

This piece was in response to #theinkwell's prompt.
Cover image created in CANVA using free elements.



0
0
0.000
23 comments
avatar

good story, friend. character creation and character is very cool. you are a great writer.

0
0
0.000
avatar

hehehehe I love the characters you create!!! I just smile the whole time at thei expressions and thought processes and antics hehehehe

this one is so adorably clueless that he just might have be buying him a drink.

but only one.hehehe

0
0
0.000
avatar

Hey dreemsteem; thanks for popping into The Ink Well to check out this piece. Well, if you're thinking of buying Lionel a drink, it seems his plan may not be such a folly afterall ;)

Ah, Friday is nearly upon us. Part 2 of the 3 Part Fiction Challenge. LOOK OUT! Such a good concept to be a part of.

0
0
0.000
avatar

I cannot wait for part 2 of yours... I was tickled throughout the whole reading hehehhee

I still have to write my part 2 today gahhhhh

0
0
0.000
avatar

Of course it's funny, and sad. It's a caricature that hits at a truth. Poor Lionel. It is a kindness that you do not force us follow Lionel through the front door when the world will receive his 'extraordinary' self.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Oh Agmoore; poor Lionel indeed - although, I think it would be difficult not to have been forced to the realisation that Lionel's outing won't go well. How could it? Wearing trackpants with a belt!

But, the older I get, the more I realise, I don't care about how others see me. I like me and that's enough (well, you know, it's helpful that the wife thinks I'm OK). Perhaps all Lionel needed was confidence - however misguided that confidence might be. ;)

0
0
0.000
avatar

It is a brilliant story. Lionel is an exaggeration, perhaps, but does he not mirror the millions and millions of people who take their cues from popular media? What is a trend, but millions of people copying a model, seeking to distinguish themselves by looking like others? For that matter, what is a model (as in super model), but a template of the ideal that others are meant to emulate?

Your character is comic, tragic and definitely memorable. Thank you. As always, we appreciate your engagement with other authors in the community.

0
0
0.000
avatar

You write great stories, it's really awesome.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Hey rtonline; thanks for the compliment. You should get into the creative fiction space too - the more you write, the better you get. There are a heap of spaces around HIVE where fiction is taking off!

0
0
0.000
avatar

Yes it would be great to try this but I don't have experience in writing about it but I can increase my experience by following your posts.

0
0
0.000
avatar

@lordtimoty Leonel's self-indulgence of looking beautiful and impressive and his attempt to find the latest trends with the help of a computer was a perfect depiction, hi hi hi I'm inspired to do the same.

0
0
0.000
avatar

😂 What a fantasy! Lionel is one funny but tenacious character. The magazine advised matching belts and shoes and not his entire wardrobe. Well, I hope he finds what he's searching for!

I enjoyed reading and smiling alongside. Great piece. !PIMP 🙂

0
0
0.000
avatar

Hey kemmyb; I liked Lionel too - should I confess to seeing more of myself in him than I'd like. Anyways... ;)

0
0
0.000
avatar

He then decided to also dismiss images of men in tight pants; ever pragmatic, Lionel understood his own limitations.

Hahah - love it. When I met Jamie he had a pair of leather pants he loved, and he swore the ladies loved him in them. Dude, you're not Jim Morrison, I said. Took me two years for him to finally allow them to go to the op shop.

I'm sure comments like that kept him on his toes. Like, you're sexy mate, but not all the time.

I love your mundane, unselfaware, pitiable characters. You have a knack for them. I kinda feel sorry for him, as I just know he's going to be knocked back and find a way to cope with this rejection.

Brilliantly done.

As for me, nothing this week. My muse is being anything but brilliant. Sat for five minutes staring but she didn't come to the party. If she doesn't come in five minutes she ain't coming at all.

0
0
0.000
avatar

Ah leather pants. I'll be honest, I never had the pleasure of squeezing myself into a pair of those - but, skinny jeans was another story. I'm not sure how I looked in them, on reflection, but they were certainly well fitted. I am sure I'm embarrassing myself with this disclosure, but I must have been about 20 - I had one pair that I couldn't get the button done up on; I had to lie down and somehow it made the distance. I was far too thin back then - and needless to say, all those pants ended up in the op shop when the opportunity to get them anywhere near done up left me!

0
0
0.000
avatar

Hahahahah omg, skinny jeans..crazy. being old is a relief... Who cares about fashion 😂

0
0
0.000
avatar

Poor Lionel, about to walk into his own fantasy island looking like an undertaker. Lol. I can't imagine what is about to hit him

0
0
0.000
avatar

Oh dear, I had a good laugh reading this 😂. Poor Lionel, I wish I could see the faces and reactions of all the ladies he planned to approach. 😂

0
0
0.000
avatar

It's up to Lionel to find out if the world would finally notice him in his all black matching outfit. :)
A particularly wonderful story you have up there.

0
0
0.000
avatar

But would the world take note of him?

Let's hope the right lady does :)

Another brilliant story, my friend :)

0
0
0.000