If I had a car, how would a bus driver even see me how much more try to beat me up

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I just remembered how I nearly fought a commercial bus driver few days back because he had refused to hand me the balance of the money I had given to him as transport fare. It all started like a joke but before we knew it, we were already taking stance of furious fighters ready to tear each other apart. I remember how he stood like a martial artist and how I had positioned like Floyd Mayweather.

"I'll remove your teeth", I said to him as he approached me, folding the sleeves of his shirt and biting his lips as he panted like an angry lion l all in a bid to scare me. It was their normal tactics whenever they wanted to intimidate a passenger into forfeiting their balance or they wanted to compel a passenger to pay an unusual exorbitant amount.
I was really angry and was set for anything and everything. we came close to each other, our chests pushed out and touching each other as we gazed at each other, breathing heavily on our faces.

I got fed up and pushed him away, as I spoke sternly "You no go comot here if you no give me my change", he feigned a mischievous mechanical smile and replied " If I Nod you, you go just faint" which meant that if headbutts me, I was going to faint.

After he saw that I was firm and unyielding, he brought out my balance and gave it to me. He smiled once again, got into his vehicle and drove off.

It was at that point that I realized that we had created a scene and aàaqapassersby had stood to watch our display. I was so ashamed of myself. "How did I even get there, how did I lose my mind", I asked myself. I began to wonder how I could stoop so low as to even think of trying to fight on the road side and for an amount so trivial.

I realized it was an outburst of stored up anger as I had in many occasions been intimidated by these drivers.

I got home really disturbed. The worst part of my days were always on my way home or on my way to work. It always had something to do with these commercial vehicles I take to work. I was fed up.

The other day, it was the unbearable stench of rotten oranges that was oozing in the bus. It was so disgusting that i nearly vomitted. I couldn't breathe and couldn't complain as well, it's a public vehicle afterall, what was I expecting.

The day before that, it was my white shirt, a new sparking clean shirt. It was stained in another commercial vehicle on my way to work. I remember how I had tried to dodge this man but it was as if he was sent by the devil to ruin my day. Even when I had approached this mechanic who had clumsily and carelessly rubbed off what ever dirt he had on his clothes on mine, he was so unapologetic and undisturbed. He was even ready to fight me.

That same week, my shoes were ruined by some children, this also happened in a public bus. I remember how their mother, a very dark and thin woman dragged them into the bus. They were 3 of them but she had bought only one ticket. I sat beside her. She carried 2 of them on each of her legs and asked the oldest one to stand. The child on the the leg just beside me somehow found a way to sit on my thigh too. It was the only way he could sit comfortably. At different time intervals, the woman would put down the children, and then she would exchange their positions. Everytime this happened, these children would always step on my shoes. At some point I got tired and just let them do as they wished. She was always quick to apologise " sorry o, my dear, you know they are kids". She was very much older than me, almost about the age of my mom. I had to Accord her some respect and I always held my calm, seething powerlessly.

When I got to work, my shoes were terribly ruined, I was so angry and frustrated that I even did badly at work. That day, I shouted at a client and got reprimanded by my boss.

I had prayed in my heart for patience and tolerance and indeed I've really been tolerant, but then I don't know how much longer I can tolerate these things, so I've now changed my wishes and prayers points, and since all my issues and stresses are connected to these public vehicles that I board to work everyday, I have now started praying, wishing and hoping for a car. Yes, car is one thing I badly need now.

Sadly, I cannot afford one at the moment but I still can't stop hoping, wishing and praying. If you're reading this now and can help out, please do well to text me. I know you all love me and wouldn't want to hear that I went to jail because I lost my temper and beat up someone. please o, help a brother.