It's difficult but I've done it

I met a narcassist. I am glad, it has ended and I am going to share this with you.

I guess this is a useful quote. I usually seldom talk about things like this, but I guess, It could be an interesting read for you. Life without drama is uninteresting but life with drama is sometimes surreal. I am writing this in an unemotional state. I just need to offload this here so I can start a new chapter tomorrow.

Out of more than fifteen years of being in the education industry, it is rare to meet such a parent. A lady or specifically a KAREN. She has been creating lots of problems for a while till I had to talk to her in a really harsh manner.

She sent her son to let me teach about two months ago. She asked me how her son was.

I told her, ' her son was progressing well.'

She told me that she was obsessed with her son getting an A. Well, she has been expecting from my side to go above and beyond while paying peanuts. She kept changing the time as she liked and when I suggested for her a time that was more convenient, she refused. In my mind, I felt that despite his mother slowly showing perculiar behaviors, I had to do my best as an educator to educate her son. Her son is intelligent and initially I was thinking of making sure that he would progress. However, her evil side slowly came to light as she disrepected my wife, our time and even demanded for a lot of the things and never showing any appreciation at all despite me and my wife giving our best.

A couple of weeks ago, she asked if he could have homework and I take a picture of what he was going to do. I did that for goodwill of course, for education.
He too had lots at hand. He had music lessons and all. He told me he was busy and I confirmed that with the KAREN. She even bought a pile of books and said she wanted him to do all of it.

So last Saturday, after class, I was on my way to lunch as I was rushing for another class. The reason why I had to rush was that she refused to have her son come at an earlier time. Then, he was the only one who I had to wait for. So she messaged me on Whatsapp to complain about her son, indirectly, me. Her messages were long and she said she was fed up of her son for not saying that he had no homework to bring home to do. Then she also talked about unrelated things like who she disliked (his female classmate) who she spied on in their group chat and found out that she was coming at the same time as he was.

I asked her, ' What is with his classmate?'.
Her answer , " She doesn't like to study and she points middle finger"

The screenshots

First of all, why does she go and spy into these groups? Her son's phone is in her hands and she wanted me to agree with her to dislike that particular student. I just did not want to and I told her that anything outside of class and what goes on outside of class is none of my business.

I asked her quite a number of times what her purpose was for writing unrelated stuff that wasn't study related. She kept saying that she wanted to ask about her son if he was lying to her about not having homework. I wasted a good opportunity that had to eat my lunch to deal with what she had said. It is my own problem too for responding too fast instead of just taking my time to respond slowly.

The gradual escalation of things

This was the final draw. It was a couple of weeks ago that she started being irrational. She asked me at that time, why wasn't English taught by me but by my wife. Then she brought all this non logical points to debate in a loop that was hard to end. I told her that time that she had to have an appointment and not to on a Sunday just write random messages.

She is an owner of a school of music. How can she not have any emphathy? Or she just felt that she wanted to have control of how her son was to be taught. I just did not want to obey. I just had to follow my experience as a teacher.

From what I have known about individuals with narcissist behaviors is that they do not want any conflicting beliefs to get into what they want to embed into the mind of the person to be controlled.

So the final battle

Yesterday, she said she wanted to withdraw her son. I knew she was going to do that from what she had said a couple of days earlier. She then gave a super long message on why and all the reasons. Of which, I replied very calmly in short phrases. Why do I even need to spend time on her anymore. I gave her very robotic answers of which she just couldn't stand and wrote a long essay.

Lastly, I asked her for her bank account and refunded all her money. I said nothing.

Regaining back control. I am glad that she and her son have left. No more perculiar messages. The moment I pressed the refund button, it was like finally beating the final boss to win the game.

I am writing this to share with you. I am nice but sometimes a little bit nasty to be able to fend off anyone that tries to take advantage.

@luueetang