Happiness - Still Tryna Find It?
It's sad how I had to use this image which in it, is one of the things I wish to do but somehow, I don't know what's Stopping me. I've come to realize three things that are very difficult to manage and that's time doing random stuff, money is very difficult to manage and thinking, that's one hell of a job.
Thinking alone drains me like fuck ( fuck here is an exclamation, dirty minds :) I get to go a full day with most of my hours spent thinking, I'm unable to determine how productive it is most of the time, it weirdly feels like I can't do anything right if I haven't been down in my thinking space. Here I am today, writing again, because I remember when it used to help me escape from everything that piles up there, my mind is a pretty dark space, though somehow, I feel like everyone's mind is. Notwithstanding, mine seems to scare me at times, even the memories in there can sometimes get me off my feet, this was something I intended doing in front of the camera but nah, I didn't wanna bore anyone out because, heck, I could literally talk for hours if I'm dealing on "life" as a topic…
With that, the only possible audience I could keep is myself, I don't think anyone would stick to a video so long unless it's a movie, but now that I wrote that line, my dumb ass mind is thinking of how to turn me talking shits into a movie with one scene yet captivating, ha, not something I think I would do as a lazy bone, only thing I could do without feeling pressured is sing, dance and eat, very important.
Photography, there's just something about "beauty" that I can't keep off. I'm the type that always acknowledges it once it's in sight. Sadly, this isn't captured by me, maybe you could gift me a camera and I'd practice, what do you think? :)
In a way I believe everyone is still tryna find their own way, because for a fact, life isn't a program that has set rules or instructions to follow, so as though changes become constant, people could most likely be tempted to always seek new things as an adjustment by default. I do feel like I'm gonna be whole when I got me a daughter, yea, it's like my greatest desire, it's basically that one thing I'm assured I'll get, but nah, I'm not in a rush, I could be ten right now and have like 20 more freaking years so you're free to shut me up there but well, it's the truth.
For a minute there my mind went blank, only to resume with the thoughts of feeling whole again. I suppose it's the Monday effect because damn it, it's one of the toughest days of the week, tough and boring at the same time, I couldn't think of a more terrible combination...