Feeling of Guilt - A Pause To Our Friendship
We were close friends, so close that our lodge mates would joke about our parents hiding a secret about our births to us. We knew it wasn't anything as that, we just grew fond of each other every single day we lived together. Isi, my favourite friend back then had a wonderful attitude towards our friendship, always putting me first in her plans and I did same with her too.
When I had no money as a roommate to Isi, it didn't feel like it because she would share her money with me. And I never failed to do same when she's in the situation too. We ate, sing and study together, we were so sure that we'd live a very long life together even after school ended.
But our friendship had a pause one time even before we went on our separate ways after school. We were both students but Isi began to mix studies with love affairs, bringing her man into our room almost every night, making me feel uncomfortable to live in a room my mum had paid for.
I began to feel less connected with her as I felt she wasn't putting herself in her shoes to know that she was inconveniencing me, I even had to start sleeping at a neighbor's room which I hated to do so much and all that made me feel more angry with Isi. One thing I made a huge mistake of was never telling her how I felt about what she was doing.
So she kept at it and my anger inwardly grew and began to show on the surface, I began to hold things back from her, I started to not share things I usually share with her in hopes that she'd come to the realization that she was the one who was being wrong. Isi noticed my attitude and also started to avoid me and that made me feel guilty as it was the opposite of what I wanted to happen.
It got worse when I over heard her complaining about me to a friend who visited her while I was away, it was so obvious she didn't know why I was angry or why I had changed. I felt so bad that I didn't clear the air well enough before I embarked on my anger journey. She even said something that has lived in my memory rent free "She is not the type to stay angry for more than a day, what could have changed?". I began to feel ashamed of myself along with the guilt.
As if she knew what I was feeling at that moment, she drew closer to me and with a soft voice asked me what the problem was and I felt bad but tried my best to explain how I've been feeling since she started to make us share room with her man. She was surprised as she didn't think that would be the reason since I didn't say anything to go against the first time she did it.
I agreed I messed up in showing my feelings the wrong way and apologized, she made other plans with her man and he didn't come so often and our friendship continued like all that never happened.
I smiled at the end because I like how it resolved. The lesson I take from here is to never keep it. Communication is always key. I'm glad you both gained back the friendship you thought was gone. Friendship is so sweet I tell you.
Yeah, it got all sorted out as soon as we talked about it... Shouldn't have taken that long pause if we had communicated about the situation
Wow. I'm not sure I could have done the same. If someone is a bad roommate then they need to know. But at the same time I know that reconciliation is a much better feeling than guilt.
Yeah, it was a first for me so I wasn't sure how to go about it but I've learned better now... Communication is important
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Good communication always sustain friendship. The ending part if your story is so sweet and I know that you've learn your lesson never to keep silent. Hope the friendship is still tight till date?
Yeah, glad we sorted it out at last
We aren't close to each other anymore and that's because she got married and moved far away
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I wouldn't have loved to have my friendship go awry because of a girl. Iwill feel so bad. I know how you felt, I've had similar experience, maybe not too similar and I know how I felt. I'm glad the issue was resolved amicably.
Yeah, the feeling wasn't too good but it wasn't handed properly until we communicated
Friendship, like any human relationship, suffers from problems; many times it is easier to end the friendship than to try to solve the problem. Fortunately you were able to continue with your friend's beautiful friendship.
Thanks for sharing.
Good day.
Yeah, fortunately I'd say too
Thanks for stopping by, have a good day too
How was the boyfriend even comfortable sharing a room with you? and the friend assuming that it was not a problem? Since it was during your school days, I guess being young and naive makes one overlook such inconvenience.
Your experience proves that communication is important and silence may be misinterpreted as approval if one doesn't raise their concerns. It is great that you guys had a great ending!🌼
Exactly my point at first but it turned out they were both too naive to acknowledge the wrong in what they were doing.
At least I learnt the power of communication 🙂
That's a great lesson!🙂
Yeah, it is
Thanks for stopping by 🙂
It's a pleasure!✨
I guess friendships are like that sometimes, there'll always be bad and good days.
It's a great thing you realized the fact that your lack of communication with Isi after the incident was wrong.
Most times feuds could have been prevented if there was just one thing: Good communication
Yeah, communication is key indeed
The guy should’ve been the one to notice that he’s making you uncomfortable.
Anyways, it’s good that the issue was resolved amicably. It’s actually not easy to keep malice with someone you like.
Yeah, I guess they just failed to think things through on their own until we communicated about it
What kind of friend she is?? If I were you I may not allow her to do it again and again. I faced such kind of situation in my mess life when one of my seniors came to our flat with a lady. The next day I spoke out even If he was my senior. He tried to threaten me but I knew that he was on the wrong side and I threatened him saying that I will expose everything to his parents and the flat owner. Besides, other seniours and messmate was supporting me also. He never dared to repeat the mistake again.
Haha that was brave of you, he most definitely can't try it again with the support and threat hehe
It's a good thing you cleared the air because if you had left school without telling her, oth of you would continue to keep each other at arm's length.
Sometimes some people don't know they are doing something wrong until we point it out to them. Great Entry Sis.
Yeah, that's right
Glad I did