Firstborns Are Not Backup Parents - Let Them Breathe

I'm not sure if this fits very well into any of the options (worldview, quote or social belief) but it is something I have started to notice that is influencing the people concerned, negatively including myself and something has to be done, by me and the few others who have also noticed.

Honestly, I didn't see how this was affecting me all my life until someone pointed it out to me and a recent movie that is trending now titled "Monica" shared even more light on how deep and badly it is eating into our lives today. If you've guessed right by now, it's the weight on first child.

I don't know about other parts of the world but in Nigeria, a lot is happening with children who came as first child in their family, both male and female. Like I said, I didn't know I was under many unnecessary pressure that I really didn't deserve but inherited just because I'm the eldest.

I'm the eldest to two siblings and that may seem little to those with over eight siblings but one thing that made mine a lot more to handle is that my mum didn't let me be a child for too long as she left us early, I had to act as a mother to my siblings alongside my dad, without realizing it.

I may not have struggled as much as other firstborn daughters, like Monica in the movie (a true story) but it is a clear fact that a silent struggle, a silent pressure and a load of silent bags of responsibilities are quietly laid on the shoulders of firstborns and it's destroying some.

Although, a lot of us are beginning to act a little stubborn to have our lives, there are still a lot more silently being exhausted but don't even realize the cause of it. Firstborns are pressured to do everything first so the younger ones can follow and do right where they failed or do better.

In simple words, the firstborns are seen like experiments for the younger ones to follow. Not in every cases but most firstborns have to deal with the "You're the eldest, what are you teaching your younger ones?" pressure everyday especially from their parents, elders and even themselves.

I watched a skit where the girl was complaining that her mum called her reporting her younger brother to her for something he did wrong at home, her response got me feeling so proud... "He is your son, do to him what you did to me when I messed up". Honestly, what exactly was she to do, just because she's the eldest child?

All I see in this silent or loud pressure on firstborns is, parents are passing their responsibilities to their children which is not supposed to be but because they failed to understand fully what it means to bring a child to the world and guide them till they have their own families and even after, things like this happen.

Personally, I am honestly still struggling to resist the pressure because it is something I've been doing all my life but having this knowledge has changed a lot for me and I'm hoping to teach more firstborns that they don't have to own the burden of their families on their shoulders alone.

_{Images used are mine.}

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