Why Forgiving Others Is Really About You, Not Them

A recent personal experience had me rethinking forgiveness and what it truly means to forgive. Before then, I would always say "just forgive and move on" and I didn't think it was easier said than done. I have hardly had any situation when I get so hurt and still asked to forgive who hurt me.

Because I rarely have such situations, I would think it's an easy thing to do and that I will definitely forgive if someone hurt me and asks for forgiveness. Until I had to experience it for real and have to struggle so much to forgive and move on from what had happened when I replay.

I wonder how that quote of "forgive and forget" got said when forgetting is far from it as regards to human memory especially in very happy and very painful moments. Forgiving could be a little bit easier, definitely not forgetting. I had my fair share of how it feels and forgiving is all I can do.

I remember how I struggled so hard to first get over the hurt I got from the person, it was even more painful for me because I had to live with an aftereffect of what happened for sometime. During those times, I'd be honest to say I was silently wishing bad for the person who caused it.

But slowly, I began to learn and understand that I wasn't doing myself any good by hating on the person. Even though I was beginning to heal from the effects, I wasn't feeling okay in my heart and thoughts. I knew I needed to let go of what happened to feel better in my heart once again.

I won't lie, it was difficult not thinking of what happened back then without feeling regretful, hatred and wishing bad for the other person but after I outgrew the hurt and kept forgiving the person over and over, I realized that I gave myself peace and not that I forgave one who hurt me.

I may not have gone through worse situations that require my forgiveness over someone but I do believe everyone is worthy of forgiveness. Not because of them but because of who got hurt by them. Forgiving is like saying yes to peace in your heart, it's the opposite when you do not forgive.

It's a hard one but from experience, it will be totally worth it when one gets over a hurt and bring peace to themselves by forgiving what had happened. It's sad that we can't turn back time so the least we can do is embrace the present we have with gratitude and value for our lives now.

We can not do this when we hold grudges, hatred, malice in our hearts against people. I'm even surprised some people tend to not forgive many people and they carry that weight around, it's a hard life however I imagine it. I don't want to be like that so intentionally forgive for my sake.

_{Image used is AI generated.}