Brunch and Identity Talk
I had a joyful meet-up for coffee and a light meal with my friends recently. They are both excellent cooks, and picky with dining choices, so when they offered to take me out, I accepted right away. The pair of them prefer to see small portions of food on their plates, so when I was presented with this modest meal, I was not surprised.
The menu was practical; I'm not too fond of menus that are too extensive, and I prefer to have fewer options with meals that are regarded as a speciality that is all good. I love mushrooms, especially on toast with eggs, so that was the obvious choice for me, and my friend chose the same, while her husband went for a vegetable burger.
The restaurant which is located in Leicester City, Uk on Grandby street is called & Kith, not far from the train station if ever you are in the town and fancy a good quick meal.
The meal was so good; I was left wanting more.😆
On their website, they stated that the restaurant offers exclusive Mexican coffee, which we had, and there's a Dry Bar too, so we ordered fruit and non-alcoholic cocktails with our meals.
I chose lychee juice, which happened to be served in the smallest glass, my friend had a virgin pina colada, and the other glass was what her husband had. I can't remember what it was, but it looks like it included soda of some sort.
My drink was refreshing and tasty, so I was happy enough. Still, it's the company that matters most to me, and this couple is a beautiful soul to be around.
Our conversation led to the topic of gender fluidity or identity, something that parents with a teenager, especially, might have a keen interest in, because that's the phase in kid's life when they tend to start to question things like sexuality and become of a curious mind.
I must have missed this news during my time living abroad, and just never paid much attention to it, so I hold my hand up for being way behind the times with this subject. I was surprisingly enlightened by our discussion about gender fluidity and acceptable protocols here in the Uk.
... Food for thought?
Yeah! So, what that means is, if I am in a public toilet and I happen to see someone who appears to be of the opposite sex, waiting in my queue when the toilet is not sign-posted as unisex, that's normal and is acceptable under the gender fluidity laws...
My friends explained that kids are now encouraged to "decide" whether they want to be seen as male or female and how they feel inside, from a young tender age.
So if Jack wakes up and decides that he wants to be Jill, then I must accept that my acquaintance is now Jill and no longer Jack.
Liberation and tolerance are good, heh?
I'm open-minded and accepting of people being whatever they want to be, but, there is a but! People will always push boundaries, and abuse laws. So some people are now apprehensive about using public toilets, especially in more secluded places, and some feel like they now need escorts to visit public restrooms.
I understand the concerns my friends have especially with their attractive teenage daughter.
Would you have any concerns as a parent?
... Then it was coffee time. Our favourite time.
Whew! I was relieved that my cappuccino did not come in an espresso cup!
Despite the unlikely topic, we certainly enjoyed our coffee experience. The highlight of the meal was this "milk cake" seen in the photo, which they wanted me to sample.
It was flavourful with hints of pistachio nuts. The perfect companion for my cappuccino and my friend's husband had this Americano coffee.
Do you need a coffee after reading this?
I processed all the information and thought it was an appropriate cliché-moment...
"Stay calm and drink coffee!"
All photos are mine
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Desperately famished now. Oh, my Lord! Coffee, cake and mushrooms please. Chat much later, I’m diving into the cupboard right now. Yum 😋☕️☕️☕️☕️❤️💕
Hehe! It's made me hungry too, but I'll be heading out for Sunday lunch in an hour, so I'll be disciplined and not have a croissant that's winking at me 😆😍
Before I talk about the coffee and the delicious meal and cake on your table please let me talk about your picture of you and your friend.
Ho my God, that your beautiful smile is so captivating , your friend wasn't bad either and I'm happy seeing that. Forgive me if i pass my boundaries but you look so very good while smiling I wish you do more of that 🤗
Yeah you make me salivates with your meal and the coffee ☕ I think it is high time i get mine ready too.
Thanks for blessing us with this beautiful post and pictures please have a good day ma'am.
!LUV
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Thanks for the love:)
😊Thank you!
I never thought I'd live the day to be told to "smile more". My nickname has always been "Smiley" 😁
I'll take your advice:)
Yes Mama you look so beautiful with it and I'm happy you found my comment amazing. Thanks so much.
My pleasure:)
Yes, I've had to have a coffee!
Regarding gender fluidity, I'm like you, very open minded. I don’t like the thought of people not being able to be themselves. I do think we have to keep discussing it though and reach some resolution that suits everyone. There's still a few grey areas. The problem is, people can't discuss things in an adult manner without mud slinging.
You are right! It's the kind of topic that people exert too much emotion, personal opinions, and prejudices instead of deciding objectively. There are loopholes for a lot of problems with this. I'm not too comfortable in public toilets to start with because they can be so creepy. I understand the concerns my friends have, and they told me about some incidents that prove that there are unresolved issues with that law.
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Thank you so much for your support @teamuk and @teamuksupport:)))
That is a challenging conversation to understand at times. We discussed it a lot in my University program and I still find it challenging. The pronouns can get out of hand too, to the point of absurdity. One philosophy is to just try out different things and see what fits - just make up words and see if you like them.
This is the "okay great! no problem at all." Category:
He/him
She/her
They/them
And now for the "get the fuck out of here I'm not talking with a new stupid accent and going to make myself sound like I have a speech impediment for you, I'm not prettending that I come from a foreign land so you can pretend that you're an alien and/or a unique "one of a kind" human being" category:
Ze/Zim
Ve/ver
Xe/xem
Sie/hir
And the list goes on to 100+ options.
"That's for Zim. Ze can do it zimself..."
😐😑😐 ummmmm No...
All that idea is good for is ostracizing and isolating yourself from society. Nobody is going to want to talk to you or about you to anyone else because its cofusing, difficult and awkward. I would just blank that individual from my mind and pretend they don't exist so that I would never have to say that phrase to another person, ever. Lol
Seriously, are you making this up?
I am REALLY behind the times with all this and what my girlfriend told me. One has to be so PC here in the UK, something that I struggle to keep up with. Many moons ago I was scolded for referring to another girl in my French class, as the black girl. I thought they were having a laugh. They told me it was incorrect to refer to her as that.
In Jamaica, people refer to you asking for any object, animal, place or whatever the mind can associate you with.
Exactly! I was happy living off the grid.
I am with you there.
There are some unfathomable laws here, that you have to be careful how you look at somebody. I think it makes people weaker. In the society that I'm from, you become thick-skinned because that's your best choice.
Everything is very pc almost everywhere nowadays and I really don't mind most of it. I like inclusivity and want all people to feel included in society. I really dont mind making small adjustments to help the situation. But there is also a lot of crap that makes you think "okay, you obviously think that you are way more important than you actually are. You are a person like everyone else, get over yourself." 😆 I'm speaking generally here of course. Often times things go way too far to the point where people who were with you and were supportive of your ideas originally are now just over it and have now turned on you. If you complain about everything then no one will care about anything you say. Fight for the important things and then let all the piddly shit go.
💯% Well Said!
That's my motto for life.
I am also the mother of a fifteen year old girl and, frankly, with all my open approach to people, I am shocked by the process of the gender revolution taking place in neighboring countries.
Fortunately, this has not affected my country yet, but our government is confidently heading in this direction.
As a psychotherapist and natural healer, I understand how stupid and dangerous it is to inspire children to experiment with gender!
I think that in society this can happen for two reasons:
or
I agree with you on all of that. I feel like it's all boosting a victim mindset and forcing people to accept labels. I think the focus ought to be more on kids becoming more emotionally intelligent and mindful, and of life skills. I'm not a mum, but I'm empathetic to the challenges and fears that parents face.
Teaching acceptance and tolerance is a positive, but this all seems forceful and could all be counter-productive 🙏
Completely in line with my thoughts!
Constantly speaking about differences, even in the need for reconciliation and acceptance, we emphasize their presence, their "otherness".
And now, in an effort to "unify and equalize everyone," instead of two genders we have sixteen or more, who now all need to be tolerant of each other!
This, in my opinion, is what you call counterproductive.
You are right, it is useful to teach children to see in the other first of all a person and personality, and not a label or gender.
There is a saying: to throw the baby out with the bath water.
I was dumbfounded by the idea of gender fluidity without knowledge of just how vast "gender" had now become. I can just imagine how difficult a job is in your field. All this has opened my eyes and I will delve further into the topic so I am more aware of this subject:)
In my practice, I have never had to face such difficulties, because in our society, gender has not yet flexed so much ...
But I can see the wave coming and feel which way the wind is blowing and frankly the hair on the back of my head is moving...
The Overton window opens and sucks in...
It remains for us to hold fast to the roots and teach our children the true meanings and values.
Precisely.
You also hit the nail on the head about values. I'm not sure how much emphasis is placed on that these days, and it's scary.
Now I observe a trend that does not mean that parents do not have values as such that can be passed on to children. I observe a lack of real live contact that parents should give to their children. For some, this is due to the workload and the need to earn money, and they simply do not see their family.
For some, this is due to the passion for digital technologies, gadgets, watching videos.
For some, children are already bogged down in gadgets, in TikTok and YouTube, and there is no simple person-to-person contact in the family!
This is critical!
Children and teenagers are forced to draw their system of views from the Internet, and not from their own parents.
Why forced? Because the thirst for knowledge about how to navigate in life is provided to us biologically, and if it is nowhere to get this knowledge, therefore there is just a grab from nowhere.
I am with you and share all these views and concerns.
One thing I struggled with when I first moved to the UK, was how reliant kids were on digital technologies and their demands for the latest models.
I have also observed how parents use technology to "avoid interacting with their kids". it's frightening how things have become.
I wish to see a little more gratitude, instilling of values, and more human interaction on all levels.
When I became a Mother for the first time, I missed this significant moment, did not foresee what it could lead to, and faced the difficulties of my teenager to find something to do in real space, not just in life, but for the next hour!
This is not an easy, but very meaningful experience for me.
Now the Universe has given me the opportunity to take a different path: my youngest daughter, at her two and a half years old, does not interact with the screen at all!
And by her happy smile, I understand that this is a right decision!
Hello dear friend, the most pleasant thing you can get out of that moment is to have the joy of having a good coffee with friends. I was left with my mouth open when I saw that food so tasty, but it seemed to me that I would really be hungry when I left there, the portions were quite small, fortunately the cappuccino was big enough to compensate for that deep talk and such a difficult subject as the one you talked about with your friends. I hope you had a great time, I send you a big hug and have a great time in the UK.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
Thanks for your lovely comment!
Yes, I was most pleased with the cappuccino side. It made me see the bright side of everything 😊
Having meetings while enjoying coffee is something I often do, somehow I feel more free and relaxed if I chat while enjoying coffee
Cappucino seems very suitable in the morning here, but have you ever tried americano 😅
Yes, I have tried Americano. My coffee at home is always Black, but when at coffee shops, I treat myself to cappuccinos:)))
Yes, whatever the type of coffee is a source of inspiration for me personally
Enjoy your coffee and have a nice day 😊
Thank you and have a great day too:)
The lunch, coffee and cake looks delicious. The conversation would cause me to order another capuccino. Funny enough, just a few days ago I had a similar conversation about a child of 15 who is in the process of changing gender. I have also had the gender fluid conversation with my teenagers.
It is a heavy conversation and although I am open-minded I will get in trouble because I will seem old fashioned to many as I will get the pronouns wrong for sure. The attention given to certain topics seems out of balance. Schools did not and do not help the situation neither are the books used at schools. Parents need to be vigilant and involved. Everyone is free to choose for themselves but parent need to still be an important part of the equation for children.
I was in Stockholm many years ago and was confused with the signs at the public toilet door - it was free entry for all. I thought they were having a bit of fun but it felt awkward being in the same toilet with my whole family - males and females alike. Now it is clear that they were just ahead of the times.
You're right. Another cappuccino was quite an in order.
Yeah, I'm all for freedom of mind to choose to be whatever one wants to be, and for society to be accepting and tolerant. However, I feel that the focus has shifted from teaching kids values, morals, and responsibility. The new stance is not allowing kids to be kids. Knowledge should be passed down and explained to kids in a relatable way, but they should be encouraged to enjoy childhood and wait until they naturally reach the age where they discover and explore themselves.
The world's gone mad!
Yay! 🤗
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Hi! The coffee and the piece of cake look delicious, how nice that you enjoyed a special moment with friends and good food.... The presentation of the drinks looks really beautiful!😍😍😍 Greetings! 😊
Yes, both coffee and cake were delightful, but it was the company more than anything else. Thanks for stopping by:)))