Not a Zombie

We all have seen zombies in the movies, sometimes I feel like I am being one. I feel like the soul is being less responsive and the body is just moving unwillingly. What I am doing, and why I am doing feels meaningless. The restart button is unavailable, the quit button is not an option, and the only option is to move on facing whatever is ahead of me.

You know, sometimes I become so much stone-heartened that I start cursing myself. I ask for forgiveness for my soul and try not to think like that. Even I got a compliment that my heart is missing from it's place, a stone is placed. To be honest, I shouldn’t be writing this at this moment, my heart should have been mourning over a matter that took place just a moment ago. How fast I held myself! It's really impressive. See? How bad I am to praise myself on such a moment when I should have been mentally low. That's why I feel like I have lost my soul sometimes. Nope, I haven't traded my soul with the devil like Dr.Faustus did. Mine is still here, just sometimes plays hide and seek with me and gives me a tough time.

I am a lazy ass that's been mentioned multiple times, can't engage myself in super active activities because I would lag behind, and will be miles away from the others because I haven't practiced myself like that for the past few years. So in this way, I am also like the zombie too, physically lazy and different from the average.

In the past, I used to sleep a lot, but now sleep is a gone case, barely ensuring six hours to keep my body and soul together somehow. My eyes are going deeper into the eyehole, I hate to appear before the mirror, no care for these. I have never cared before but there was no need to get worried as things used to go fine naturally but now it seems to be going sideways which is a matter of concern.

No no no, I don't wanna be a zombie, It's just my messed up thoughts that play with my mind in this way.

Standing in a place like this really refreshes the body and soul together and nobody would treat you like a heartless human or zombie. I am alive, and I best be alive physically and mentally too.