It's all inside the head! Thoughts and a poem

bonfire - Lac du Veronne - Dordogne

Headaches are painful and are not only a health issue; they attack one emotionally, socially and I now realise that it is a financial problem as well. For some days, I had such terrible headaches - it rendered me inactive. It was that debilitating.
If you were to ask me the prior week, "When was the last time you had a headache?"
I would have said, "I do not know - I get them so infrequently."
However, I clearly had one so badly that I wrote a poem about it some years ago. I will share it with you at the end of this post, but first, I will tell you what occurred.

When my headache started I thought,
"It is a warmer than usual day and maybe I am a bit overwhelmed by the sun."
When the sun blesses us with its presence - we rush to terraces to enjoy the pleasure of it's shine because it is so unpredictable during spring time. I went to bed at 8pm that evening. My family actually woke me at 10pm to find out whether I was ok because I went to bed so much earlier than normal. I mumbled that I had a mild headache and went immediately back to sleep. At a certain point in the night, I woke up totally confused and thinking something strange must have happened to me. My head, eyes and even my neck felt painful. It is hard to describe and I will only say, it is the worst headache I've ever had. It weakened me. The following morning it seemed to get worse. I could not even go outside to my terrace to water my beloved garden. Was it that bad? Yes!!

A social problem?
The next morning, I canceled an appointment with friends who were visiting from abroad and whom I had not seen for 3 years. I could not open my eyes or speak - so how could I socialize? Of course every friend and family member who called had great advice for me - take this pill, that herb etc. etc.
One friend said, “You have a headache because you do not drink enough coffee - you need caffeine.”

Another said, “I told you not to drink coffee - that is why you have a headache.”

I love cappuccinos but I am a social drinker - I almost never drink when I am alone - so I am not yet addicted. Eventually, I stopped answering the phone and just lay in bed with my eyes closed. Occasionally I fell asleep. My kids realized that this was serious - so I was mostly left alone or brought copious amounts of herbal teas. At some point, I realized that some of it was black tea. I was too weakened to ask for another type - so I drank it. Did the caffeine, in the black tea, help my recovery? I should ask my caffeine-loving friend. 😄

A financial problem?
I could not work the entire week. I could not open my eyes or think straight. As they say time is money - so my time in bed nursing a headache was costly. Of course, health is the most important thing - it does come first. Without my health I have nothing - no enjoyment of life and that is that. I had no imminent deadlines but as a sole proprietor - I am all I have. I had to communicate that I was under the weather.

I was feeling terrible and sorry for myself but then I had to consider anyone who is wracked by frequent migraines. Bank accounts will be affected and certainly one's employment as one becomes unreliable. No one can perform well with these headaches, thus careers could suffer. For younger people, migraines can prevent them from attending classes thus affecting their education and in the long run their career prospects.

Luckily for me, this is not a frequent occurrence but for some people the associated costs including medications for migraines become costly. Some will seek alternative treatment like acupuncture but that is also costly unless one’s insurance covers for these types of treatments.

Since I thought about the financial aspect, I decided to turn to Google to find out the real impact.
According to the American Journal of Medical Care - the economic impact is significant.

The economic impact of migraine has been estimated to be around $11 billion a year direct cost, and around $11 billion a year indirect cost. Direct cost is actual medical spending, and indirect cost is lost productivity.

Within lost productivity we have both absenteeism, when people aren’t able to come to work because of migraine, and presenteeism, when they come to work, but they don’t do their full days’ work or are not as productive as usual because they’re experiencing symptoms of migraine.

Is my headache caused by an environmental issue?
Living in a small city means that we are surrounded by telephone masts everywhere. I've heard that some people are sensitive to the radiation emitted. A new gigantic base station was installed close to my dwelling so the thought has crossed my mind. Yes - we have great internet but there could be a downside. I have heard controversial arguments about this but I have no informed opinion.

So what caused my headache?
I do not know. Headaches are caused by a myriad of reasons. According to My Clevelandclinic.org these are some of the primary reasons.

As I have not changed my lifestyle - I cannot be sure if one or a combination of these reasons was the trigger.

What helped to quell my headache?
I did not want to medicate. Headache pills make me dizzy. I continued to drink teas and lots of water. When I could get out of bed - I took long relaxing baths and I remained calm. I figured nothing lasts forever. I figured that my headache was incidental, and not chronic. I know that some people will need medication - so visiting a doctor would then be advisable.

For some problems, I would be the first to say:

• Meditate and do some deep breathing
• Stay present - do not focus on the past or the future
• Go for a long walk to clear your head
• Do some exercise
• Do something you enjoy - like watching your favorite movie
• Meet with friends or talk to a loved one
• Enjoy a nice mochaccino 😄

I am smiling as this generic list is normally great advice - but not for all situations. I could not take my friends advice to drink more or less coffee and I would not be able to use my own list above either. It is not one size fits all. Sometimes we need to figure out what works for each situation. None of this worked for me - not with such a bad headache. Aww not totally true - I did "stay present" because of the pain - I had no choice.

It’s all inside the head!
People like to say - “Your problems are all inside your head.”
This time I agree - it literally was.
Even if you do not like poems, please indulge me as I share this poem which nicely summarized headaches in my own poetic words.

I am happy to say that at the time of writing, despite feeling like a train wreck - the worst is over. I am back on my feet and feeling totally geared up to being socially, emotionally and financially balanced again. I will definitely be checking out the environmental aspect too.

fireworks - new year's day 2023

If you have never had a headache like this before, consider yourself very lucky. If you have - I totally empathize.

The photos are my own.