They Walk at Night | The Ink Well Fiction Prompt #210
"I think the place is safe..."
The man spoke to his friend but with his eyes fixed forward. At the same time, his friend was also looking forward, a gaze that passed through the weeds as wide as the eye could see the height of an adult's knee that was golden yellow in the afternoon sunlight.
His friend, a man wearing a shabby trucker hat who was trying to grip the shotgun tightly in his hand, seemed silent and did not answer.
He stared silently. His gaze was like an eagle's. The man walking with him looked younger but had a face that looked wiser and happier.
"...what do you think?" his friend sounded urgent.
The man holding the shotgun still had not answered. He seemed to be observing his surroundings.
"...I don't think there is any sign that the creature ever came to that place," said the friend of the man holding the shotgun.
"I think so," now the man holding the shotgun was heard answering.
"Okay, let's go," the man holding the shotgun invited his friend and walked ahead of his friend.
The two men walked carefully. Their eyes seemed to be trying to catch anything moving in the sea of weeds around them.
A few minutes later, they apparently just realized that far to the right, about fifty meters on the edge of the pine forest, there were several wrecks of armored vehicles, such as tanks and machine gun trucks, that had been surrounded by grass.
"It looks like it came from the battle at the beginning of the invasion," said the younger man.
"...look..." he continued.
The man patted the shoulder of the shotgun holder and, with the tip of his finger, immediately pointed to a pile of cars not far from the tank wreck. The cars were stacked up, like a sandwich. Several birds seemed to stop at the top of the car wrecks.
They walked through the weeds for a hundred meters until they finally arrived at an abandoned camp. The camp they had talked about earlier when they were still on the hill of weeds.
"Do you still have bullets?" asked the man carrying the shotgun.
They had now stopped right in front of a worn-out gate. On the gate was written, "Welcome to the house saved by God."
They found several such writings along the way. Most of them—the writings—were invitations to join a community where a group of survivors who were residents of a rescue camp lived. In the past, these camps were built by the army. Actually, it was not a proper camp, but for post-disaster conditions, such camps could be very helpful.
Currently, the entire country is being attacked by creatures that have risen from the dead from the deepest abyss. They are ancient creatures that come from behind caves scattered throughout the world. They are believed to have taken shelter and settled there since ancient times. They have risen since the eclipse occurred several years ago. They are a group of creatures that have no souls other than only consisting of cruel creatures who like to eat anything that lives.
Initially, people still hoped that this was just a "strange" plague that would soon disappear. Unfortunately, no. One month, two months, three months, one year, until ten years, there were no signs. The monsters are now experiencing what government experts and professors call a "death creature mutation" - a combination of demons and monsters.
First, they have horn-shaped ears like curved beetle claws and serrated mouths. Now, they even have three eyes and snouts that resemble pangolins. They also have ears like wings that can flap. The most frightening of all is their three eyes, which are glowing red. This is certainly no longer a rational disaster. This is the last warning from God, before the wind blows the trumpet, a sign that the world and everything in it will collapse.
Several years after the disaster struck, people no longer hope for miracles. There are no wonders. People were hopeless and began to be steadfast. This is God's curse on what mankind has done for thousands of years of stopping by on earth. People are now resigned to waiting, hoping for the coming of the Messiah.
"...I think I still have some bullets," said the friend of the man holding the shotgun.
"...what do you think?" he continued.
"What do you want me to answer?" replied the man holding the shotgun.
"I don't even know what you're asking about..." the man holding the shotgun continued, he stepped forward, leaving his friend behind.
The neck of the shotgun in his hand he put on his shoulder. From behind, the man looked more dashing; his white shirt was dirty and full of blackish-red spots that were unable to cover the wounds on his back. He had been through a lot of battles, especially with evil creatures from hell. Just like his friend.
"I mean, is it true that people like us were chosen by God to face this disaster?" asked the friend of the man holding the shotgun.
"I wonder why God sounds unfair? Why did he send cruel creatures upon us?" he continued.
Now the two of them were right at the mouth of the camp gate. However, this camp had certainly been abandoned for a long time. The barracks on the left and right were already seen overlapping and falling. Maybe the residents fled to another place or were wiped out by the terrible creatures that were taking over the earth.
"God has given us many opportunities to...", the man holding the shotgun answered briefly.
They walked slowly. Passing the ruins of the barracks that were empty and deserted.
"...you're right..., I think so too," now the friend of the man holding the shotgun sounded relieved and more resigned.
"Oh God, if only there was a coffee shop in this place. I want to drink coffee. I'm really sleepy..." he babbled again and was heard yawning.
"Shhh, be quiet. You see...", the man holding the shotgun held back the babbling by holding his friend's chest with his hand.
They immediately took precautions.
"That..., look...," the man holding the shotgun whispered.
"...what, what's wrong...?" his friend also answered in a whisper. Now he was seen bending down and pointing the gun that he had just pulled from its holster. The muzzle of the gun was pointed forward.
He was getting ready.
"Over there...!"
"...where..., what are you looking at...?"
"Damn, dude...!" the man holding the gun was heard cursing. Meanwhile, his friend chuckled. He held back his laughter by covering his mouth with his leather-gloved hand.
About twenty meters away, there was a barrack that was probably used as a coffee shop. The barrack was damaged, and the doors and windows were broken. As if it had just been hit by a storm.
"Want to try your luck...?" the man holding the shotgun was heard teasing and winking.
His friend was silent. He looked annoyed.
"...Hey, this is my lucky day. Who knows they provide robusta," his friend tried to look cheerful even though he was still annoyed because he felt he was being played.
The man holding the shotgun immediately embraced his friend. The two men walked straight ahead, while it was a few minutes until dusk. They had to hide immediately. Now, it was time for the creature from the cave of death to walk: at night.
Hmm, this is a nice story but it would have been more nicer if you gave them names. I wonder what humans must have done for them to be visited by such cruel creatures, where they able to overcome those creatures, or was humanity lost.
Oh sure. I'll give them names next time. That should be interesting.
Thanks for stopping by.
You’re welcome
Wow this is a touching story, but who knows what really happened before the cruel creatures came, well the right person to ask is God because at that point no one can really explain the whole situation more clearly.
Yes, no one knows what happened before the earth was ruled by these creatures. Thanks for stopping by.
Your welcome
Hello @mosin-nagant,
I'm writing from my personal account and not my Inkwell account, because I'd like to address you personally.
This is a wonderful story. It certainly held my attention. I really like your descriptions, of the people, the scenes and the creatures.
However (oh that dreaded however), the story does not pass our AI detectors. I believe you wrote this. It has the ring of originality to it. What likely happened is you used a program to edit. We only allow editing of basic punctuation (periods, commas, etc.) and spelling. Nothing else. Word arrangement, word choice--whatever a program might suggest--these edits are not acceptable.
Think about how you wrote this and how much feedback you might have received from a program. I know AI detectors are not perfect. I've run my writing through them and sometimes receive a positive reading, but a low positive reading. Yours was 68% confidence of AI content, and that is very, very high.
The Inkwell will not be curating the story because of the AI detection.
I think you are a very good writer with original ideas. I personally hope we see more stories from you.
I have never used AI at all. In my entire life. I have never used it. It all came purely from inside my head.
This accusation is very painful to hear. I feel like I still have the power of ideas, so why would I lower myself by using AI. I wrote it in one sitting, and I can because I am used to it.
I even still have the original manuscript before I translated it into English. I use Google Translator. In writing, I use a note application called Word Count. I use that to count the number of words to meet the requirements.
Furthermore, on the advice of the curator yesterday in my nonfiction writing, I copied the translation results into Google Docs. To perfect the translation results, I used Grammarly-I use the suggestion feature in that app. Again, this sounds pathetic to me @agmoore. I am accused of doing something I really avoid. I have been writing here since before AI was used. And I still do it without AI.
This is not an accusation, @mosin-nagant. It is a discussion. AI is troublesome. It weeps into our work sometimes when we don't invite it.
I believe this is entirely original. Writer to writer I liked what I read. My inclination was to look past the AI reading because I like the story so much. Perhaps the suggestion feature in Grammarly is what caused the reading. I frankly never recomment Grammarly because it seems to make suggestions that cause an AI reading. Can you share the original transcript with us? The translator also can trip an AI reading. We often like to run stories through the detector in the original language. That gives a cleaner reading.
Again, I respect you as a writer and accuse you of nothing. It is the detector that is alerts us to an issue.
Please do share the original manuscript.
Thank you.
Because I was curious, I also checked through a site called zerogpt.com. I copied my writing from Hive by removing all the markdown code, including the * sign to italicize sentences while the characters were talking. The result stated "Your Text is Human written". Please try checking again. I feel that the tool you are using has an error. I cannot justify and remain silent about an accusation that I have never done in my life. There must be something wrong with the checking program using the AI program you are using 🙏🙏🙏
Here my original 🙏🙏🙏
"Kurasa tempat itu aman."
Lelaki itu melihat kepada temannya.
Temannya melihat lurus ke depan, sebuah tatapan melewati rumput ilalang setinggi lutut yang berwarna keemasan ditimpa cahaya matahari sore.
Temannya, seorang lelaki mengenakan topi yang kumuh yang berusaha mengenggam erat senjata shotgun di tangannya, tampak diam dan tidak menjawab. Tatapannya seperti elang. Sementara lelaki yang berjalan bersamanya tampak lebih muda, namun wajahnya terlihat lebih bijaksana.
"Bagaimana menurutmu?" kawannya terdengar mendesak.
Lelaki pemegang shotgun masih belum menjawab temannya. Ia tampak mengawasi sekelilingnya.
"Tak ada tanda-tanda makhluk itu pernah ke sini," kata teman dari lelaki pemegang shotgun itu.
"Sepertinya begitu," kini baru terdengar lelaki pemegang shotgun menjawab.
"Ayo jalan," lelaki pemegang shotgun menambahkan.
Kedua lelaki itu berjalan dengan berhati-hati. Mata mereka seakan-akan berusaha menangkap apapun yang bergerak di dalam lautan ilalang yang ada di sekeliling mereka.
Kedua lelaki itu rupanya baru sadar bahwa jauh di sebelah kanan mereka, sekitar lima puluh meter di pinggir hutan pinus, terdapat beberapa bangkai kendaraan lapis baja seperti tank yang sudah dikerubungi rumput.
"Sepertinya itu berasal dari masa pertempuran di awal-awal," kata lelaki yang lebih muda.
"Lihatlah...," lanjut lelaki itu.
Ia menunjuk ke tumpukan mobil yang tidak jauh dari bangkai tank tadi. Mobil-mobil itu ditumpuk ke atas, seperti roti lapis. Beberapa ekor burung tampak singgah di puncak bangkai mobil tersebut.
Kedua sahabat itu berjalan membelah ilalang sepanjang seratus meter sampai akhirnya berada di sebuah desa yang sudah ditinggalkan. Desa yang tadi mereka bicarakan saat masih di atas bukit ilalang.
"Kau masih memiliki peluru?" tanya lelaki pembawa shotgun.
Mereka saat ini berhenti tepat di depan sebentuk pintu gerbang yang sudah usang. Pada pintu gerbang itu tertulis, "Selamat datang di rumah yang diselamatkan Tuhan."
Tulisan-tulisan seperti itu beberapa kali mereka temukan di sepanjang jalan. Kebanyakan itu merupakan ajakan untuk bergabung di komunitas di mana kumpulan yang menjadi penghuni sebuah kamp penyelamatan tinggal. Dulunya, kamp-kamp ini dibangun oleh tentara. Sebenarnya bukan sebuah kamp yang layak, namun untuk kondisi pascabencana, kamp-kamp seperti itu bisa saja sangat membantu.
Saat ini, seluruh negeri sedang diserang oleh makhluk yang bangkit dari kematian terdalam. Mereka adalah makhluk purba yang datang dari balik gua yang tersebar di seantero penjuru dunia. Mereka dipercaya sudah ada di sana sejak dulu. Mereka bangkit sejak gerhana pertama terjadi di tahun itu. Mereka adalah kumpulan makhluk yang tidak memiliki jiwa selain sebagai makhluk kelaparan yang suka memakan apapun yang hidup.
Awalnya, orang-orang masih berharap bahwa ini hanyalah wabah "aneh" sesaat yang akan segera hilang. Sayangnya, tidak. Satu bulan, dua bulan, tiga bulan, satu tahun, hingga terhitung sepuluh tahun, tidak ada tanda-tanda. Para monster itu kini malah mengalami apa yang disebut para pakar dan profesor pemerintah sebagai "mutasi makhluk kematian"—perpaduan antara iblis dan monster. Mereka bahkan memiliki sayap dan mata tiga serta moncong yang mirip seperti tringgiling. Mereka juga punya telinga seperti sayap yang bisa mengepak. Yang paling menakutkan dari semua itu adalah ketiga mata mereka yang berwarna merah menyala. Ini tentu bukan lagi bencana yang rasional. Ini adalah peringatan terakhir dari Tuhan, sebelum angin meniupkan terompet sangkakala pertanda dunia dan seisinya akan rubuh.
Beberapa tahun sejak bencana itu melanda, orang-orang tidak lagi berharap akan adanya keajaiban. Orang-orang mulai tabah. Ini adalah kutukan Tuhan terhadap apa yang umat manusia lakukan. Orang-orang kini pasrah menanti, berharap kedatangan sang mesiah.
"Kurasa aku masih memiliki beberapa peluru," kata teman dari lelaki pemegang shotgun tadi.
"Bagaimana menurutmu?" lanjut lelaki itu.
"Kau ingin aku menjawab apa?" jawab si lelaki pemegang shotgun.
"Aku bahkan tidak tahu kau bertanya tentang apa...," lelaki pemegang shotgun melanjutkan, ia melangkah ke depan, meninggalkan temannya lima langkah.
Leher shotgun yang ada di tangannya ia taruh di atas bahu. Dari belakang, lelaki itu tampak lebih gagah, kemejanya yang putih namun kotor dan penuh bercak-bercak merah kehitaman itu tak mampu menutupi luka-luka yang ada di punggungnya. Ia melalui banyak sekali pertarungan, terutama dengan para makhluk jahat dari neraka. Sama seperti temannya.
"Maksudku, apakah betul orang-orang seperti kita dipilih oleh Tuhan untuk menghadapi bencana ini?" tanya teman lelaki pemegang shotgun.
"Aku malah berpikir mengapa Tuhan terdengar tidak adil? Mengapa ia menurunkan makhluk-makhluk tersebut kepada kita?" lelaki itu melanjutkan.
Kini keduanya tepat berada di mulut pintu gerbang kamp. Namun, kamp ini tentunya sudah lama ditinggalkan. Barak-barak yang ada di kiri dan kanan sudah terlihat saling tindih dan berjatuhan. Kamp ini sudah lama ditinggalkan. Boleh jadi penghuninya mengungsi ke tempat lain atau musnah akibat makhluk-makhluk mengerikan yang sedang menguasai bumi.
"Kita sudah memberi kita banyak sekali kesempatan, Jims," lelaki pemegang shotgun itu menjawab singkat.
Mereka berjalan perlahan. Melewati runtuhan barak yang telah kosong dan sepi.
"Kau betul..., aku juga berpikir demikian," kini teman lelaki pemegang shotgun terdengar lebih pasrah.
Bingo! Original. From now on, give us the original with the translation, please. We can read the translation and check the original if the translation has problems. I strongly suggest that you not use Grammarly suggestions. This is not allowed. We only allow punctuation (commas, periods, etc.) and basic spelling. No word choice, order, etc.
I will curate your story now as Inkwell.
I believe in communication. I'm just a writer/blogger like you. I want to help people not hurt them. However, we do not tolerate AI at all, so that is the issue here. I'm glad this was resolved.
BTW:
I ran the original story through DeepL and the translation was smoother than what appeared in Google translate.
Thank you for trying to verify. I feel relieved. Thank you for believing me.
Sorry because it little bit annoying you. I felt devastated at first. From now I will always put the original manuscript in Indonesian version into every prompt.
Of course, I will follow your advice. I will try using DeepL.
For me, this is very valuable. All of this, starting from the findings and suspicions until finally the proof was found because you did not give up to check and accept my complaint with humility.
I respect you and the entire curation team 🙏🙏🙏.
Believe me, please. I only curate to help people. That is true for the whole team. We're not perfect, but we do try to help.
wholeheartedly 🙏