Sometimes don't you feel how ephemeral life is?

Sometimes don't you feel how ephemeral life is? I am sitting on the edge of my bed staring at a little light I have on the edge of my bedside table. And just like the one who gets lost in his mind, I thought, you know Jelvys, in a few hours it will be February 14th, Valentine's Day, the day of love and friendship, and you, tell me when was the last time you spent February 14th with a partner? When was the last 14th that you went out to dinner with your partner? When was the last 14th that you gave him/her a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates and one of those cheesy postcards saying: "You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I love you.

Asking myself these questions, my mind started to search for mathematical accounts, drawing matrices, calculating derivatives. To reach the conclusion that it had been more than 8 years since I had spent a February 14th as a couple. This time I applied the laws of physics, motion, mass and volume to reach the conclusion that in 29 years I have only spent two February 14 in a relationship. Homesick? I don't know. Loneliness? A little bit yes. A curse? Most likely 😐.

I didn't take it badly at first, but I felt that sometimes I too would like to be the main author in someone else's life. The walking down the street holding hands, sitting on a damn bench watching people walk by, going to lunch together and throwing food at you or smearing ice cream on your face. I'm not going to say more because there are so many things that I've only seen in movies and series and I haven't had the opportunity to do it, or rather if I have had the opportunity, but I wasn't the right person to do it.

So tell me Jelvys what it feels like to spend another February 14th without a partner, without your hands sweating, the nervousness of everything going well, waiting several hours in line to get into that place you wanted to invite her to go to eat. Tell me Jelvys that you are the expert in being alone and spending February 14th without company. What are your plans for tomorrow?

The day of love and friendship is like any other day, the only difference is that if you go out on the street or go somewhere you will find many couples smiling, many kissing, some others asking for marriage and so on. Tomorrow is a day of happiness for many, I will only do what makes me happy. I will occupy my mind watching a movie or a series, maybe I will write a poem or a letter to my ex where I will tell her that I miss her and that I bought her the biggest stuffed animal in the store and the box of chocolates with the shapes she liked so much.

Of course at the end of that letter I will just burn it and the stuffed animal I will give it to my sister or something, the chocolates I will eat them. And I would focus on the initial plan of watching a movie, maybe a drama, probably ice cream too. That is if I won't go out, what for?