Initiating Sex In A Romantic Relationship: Who Should Take The Lead?


Vera Arsic

Good morning folks. I met some guys discussing in the common room at my workplace during the lunch break hour about who has the right to initiate sex in a relationship or marriage. Listening to them with one ear how they bisected their thoughts made me decide to take the matter here on my blog.

A relationship or marriage takes two people who have agreed to be together, to share and to have and love. Sex is one very important aspect of the whole thing. Initiative sex in marriage should not be a big issue but due to traditional thoughts and discourse, many have got it all wrong.

We should understand that sex is a feeling that keep the body, soul and spirit growing while bonding. The connection of two people (male and female) can become stronger because of sex.
Hence, there should be no law as to who should initiate the process. I would rather you go for what you desire. Many have made this case dwell for too long because of the social model for stereotyping sexual intercourse as the predominant responsibility of the male gender.

As learned somewhere else, one school you may never graduate from until death is the school of relationship. Thus, when you are involved in a romantic relationship, you learn the attitudes of your spouse daily, including his or her behaviour when they want to be cuddled or made love to. That is one thing you will learn over time.

Why women Should Learn To Initate Sex In Their Relationship.

An average man thinks of aex once in a day and have been know to initiate sex twice more than women do. Hence, to keep your relationship going, when the man keeps to himself because you have refused to make the move, he may begin to find attention elsewhere even though that excuse isn't tenable.

Women should grow beyond the feeling of being referred to 'slut' or 'whore' for initiating sex. It is known that people have a talked down on women who initiate sex as too cheap. Truth is that such women are only following their instincts and feelings.
Therefore, permit me to say here that if a woman doesn't dominate elsewhere, they should in the bedroom.
If a woman is active sexually, she is only responding to the yearnings of her hormones. Hence, women should not kill their emotions because of social attachment or malady. As much as women have feelings, they should also be able to have the feelings that men usually have.

Factors That Causes Withdrawal From Initiating Sex

Many factors have led to reasons when some people would not initíate a move to make love.

Shame: In love there is no shame. Love covers everything. But when it reveals that there is shame in the oven when the heart wants to explore, then it becomes difficult to take a lead in showing the burning desires. Desire to mate could be very hot and self-control at the core of the matter kills libido. Men and women in relationships need not to be shy about anything. When allowed, shame only deprives you of the pleasure therein.

Bad Response: When the partner does not reciprocate an initial move by the other partner, it makes it a worse situation. This is why couples should understand the body language of one another. Some people, because of their background, act in some particular ways to make romantic advances, hence knowing this character will ensure that your partner does not miss it when you make a move.

Exhaustion: Tiredness is one big problem for couples in recent times. Some men, in the bid to put food on the table may end up overworking themselves throughout the day and at night, they sleep like a log of wood.
It is perceived that when an adult is fatigued, sleep is the antidote. That may deprive a lot of men from making sexual advances too.
Women could also be tired sometimes when thinking about initiating a romance with their partner becomes bleak.

Sex is for adult and mature minds. Hence, anyone who desires to be involved can initiate a move. It is not a taboo as perceived in some parlance that only the male gender can initiate lovemaking.
As much as 'people' have emotions, they should be able to express themselves by taking the lead.