Challenges of a Single Parent and their Children

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In this week @ladiesofhive community came up with a very interesting question, thoughts on Single Mother. I read so many responses and it was very overwhelming for me to know that there are so many single mothers who are daily facing the challenges of the world to raise their children. While it is very sad that in one part of the world this is a very serious issue and it is not being dealt with the right measures. When this is very common, I feel that sex education must be a top most priority so that teenage girls do not get carried away in their age. It is very easy for a man to shrug off from their responsibilities but for a mother it is impossible. No matter whatever her circumstances will be there she will still take care of her baby. Being a single parent is very tough.

In my case, it was the opposite. I was raised under the care of my Father who was to a large extent a single Father. My parents never got divorced, but they stayed separate since they never got along. My Father took our custody from a very young age, since my mother did not have any financial nor emotional stability to take care of me and my sister. Though he was a very short-tempered man and was on heavy alcohol addiction but he still made sure that we were raised up well. I have huge respects for him and I always tell the world, that it is not only a mother who can sacrifice her life for her children, even a father can do that. He can also be a father and mother to his child and will be equally responsible like a mother.

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But in all cases, single parent children do face a lot of traumas in their growing up. It is just not about the society, there are many other factors also, like for a girl there are so many things which she can only discuss with her mother and when that absence is felt it can leave deep scars within. Same goes for a male child, after a point of time he wants that masculine energy around him and too much of feminine energy makes his insecure. The whole family environment plays a big role in shaping up a mentally healthy child. When that goes missing, it does not impact them but then grow up and become parents it also reflects on their parenting style. There are always some missing spaces in their life.

When I look back at my life, I have missed so much. As a child sleeping between them, holding both of their hands and going out, having both of their presence in school functions. A home where both of them are together, a place where there are cuddles, laughter and cheer. It does bring a lot of pain at that age when you see other children around with both their parents and that you are left alone and the whole world is trying to sympathize on your condition. That was one thing I hated so much, when people would say, Oh poor little girl. That's a different thing that this poor little girl has now been doing very well for herself in all ways. But the journey of growing up was never easy.

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And it is not for any child with a single parent, be it a father or mother. These days the younger generation I see lack lot of tolerance and for little matters they want to separate out not thinking much of the child. If they are financially independent, they think that they do not need a partner, but they forget that besides financial security child also needs emotional security.

There are few genuine cases where the marriage is intolerable for a woman or a man and in such cases, it is best to separate out for the wellbeing of the child. But other than that I believe that a couple should always make their marriage work if they have children involved in them.

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10 comments
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You're absolutely right, this is a very serious matter and every parent should be focus on it and do practice for making good ways to develop around you.

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They should look at the child's well-being and do what is in their best interest

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I also feel that I've missed a lot in my childhood years. And because of that there's lot of issues to solve at present. But I sometimes seeing as a necessary part of my evolution as a human being.

I've been raised by a single parent for almost a decade now. Parents got divorced back in 2013. I've seen and experienced most of it especially the challenges of being raised by a single parent. In my case it is my mom, father was never around. The biggie for me is that I had no one to teach me the ropes in transitioning from a boy to a man so I have to figure and try things out myself. I made a couple of mistakes along the way, thank goodness they weren't huge mistakes!

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We do tend to make mistakes because we do not have sufficient guidance in our growing up in such environment. But I can say that you are a very sensible person and have learnt a lot through life. I've missed somethings but when my son was born I did fulfill some of my dreams through him, that was the best way to fill up the gaps.

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Yes, life often gives us a second attempt at better experiencing what we couldn't experience on the past because of circumstances. It's always great to fill up the gaps.

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Of course, it is necessary to evaluate how positive it is for the children that the parents stay together.
In my case, a year and a half ago I separated after 15 years of free union.
I thought about it a lot for my children, because I wanted them to have what you say about being with both parents, especially because I have two boys and the father figure seems to me to be fundamental for their upbringing.
But in exchange for that, I was getting smaller, I felt more and more empty and overwhelmed in a disadvantaged position for being a mom.
And I was plunged into such a sadness that it was like having a dementor at home, who had become like another child, but who demanded as a partner.
I had lost my independence, my desire to do things, because I had no one to leave in charge of my children, even for a couple of hours while I studied, read alone or any activity on my own.
After the separation, I kept an eye on my children's reactions, and both showed no changes, I think for the same reason of being the one who was always in charge, but I am still attentive to any sign of discomfort to talk to them and help them to overcome them.

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There is no point in putting up in a toxic relationship because that can be equally harmful to the child. It's so nice that you are sensitive about your child's reactions, not every single parent do that.
These are very complicated matters, it's easy for people to judge from the outside, but the one who is going through the pain knows exactly what it means to them.

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It is even better if both are nurtured together. But if the two get separated due to some reason, then the child is greatly affected. But mother's love never diminishes. The most precious gift in the world. Thanks for sharing 🙏

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Nurturing a child together in a healthy environment is ideal for the child but if that's not the case then still the single parent has to be careful with their child's emotional needs

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