Ladies of Hive Community Contest #142 - Insecurities of Life
In this week the 2 questions from the @Ladiesofhive - Ladies of Hive Community Contest #142 put up by @saffisara are:
1️⃣ Is there anything you see inside of yourself you're not sure of?
~ 𝐀𝐍𝐃 / 𝐎𝐑 ~
2️⃣ What is that one childhood fear you have not told anyone yet?
Let's talk about the 1st question:
Is there anything I see inside of myself that I am not sure off?
Yes. there are times when I conflict with myself. I have always been a family person and for me my family means everything to me. I cannot imagine myself being without my family, also the second question connects to this one. The fear that I have? It's not exactly a fear but that feeling of insecurity of what will happen to me if I even have to be without my family. Specially my hubby. I do get thoughts at times, what will my future be if ever I have to live without him. As much as I am independent, I am also very emotionally dependent on him.
But with all of this emotional baggage that I carry, sometimes I also conflict with myself. I feel that I would like to be totally alone by myself and sometimes I feel like I want to give up on everything and go away somewhere far away from everyone, where I can just be myself. I feel like I want to live my life totally to myself with nothing on my head. And I feel that these family matters do drain me out at times.
You know that feeling, when all the problems in your life are not because of you and coming from all the people around you. In such times, you want to be with them and then you also feel you want to be away from them.
So, what is that I really want. Honestly, I will not say I am not sure. I know there are no second thoughts, I will always want to be with my family, no matter what. But still these conflicting thoughts do occur to me.
Coming to the 2nd question, my childhood fear.
So many bad things have happened in that time, and somewhere this thing has creeped into my mind that if anything good happens in my life then a bad thing will follow and my happiness will be taken away. I do not like to express my happiness too much, because I feel somewhere that if I express, it will be taken away from me.
I try to release these blocks from my mind, but sometimes they still over power me. Good and bad times keep happening in our lives. Over the last few years, I have worked a lot on myself to overcome all these emotional blocks that I have carried from my childhood times. I have done a good amount of work on myself and been successful but there are times when I get taken down.
Life is so simple and yet so complex at times.
Thank you for visiting my blog. 👼🏻👼🏻💖💖🌹🌺🌸
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I understand what it means to be independent as a person but still emotionally dependent on someone. We can't help it as humans. And there's absolutely no shame in that.
And to fears, I will say that you've mirrored the things I face. I don't get too happy over things. It's just cause I'm used to fawning and being anticipatory over something and then having it ripped off. So, I guess I'm kind of numb to it all now.
I do speak to my family also about this and they do understand because at some point they too have some similar feelings. Over a period of time, we have learned to give this space to each other and that's what makes our relationship strong and heathy
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Many times I feel the same fear of expressing my happiness, with that nobody likes to see a smile on the face of another person, lest the bad vibes take away my joy, you feel a family attachment and without them you feel insecure, but it is normal the family is the one that gives you that protection and gives you strength.
I want to overcome these kind of feelings and enjoy my happy moments to their very best and even express it out loud. I hope I can do that
I'm actually far away from my family right now! I don't have a husband or children but my mom and brothers, I live in another country so sometimes you want to go home with your family and at the same time you appreciate your independent and freedom
When you start living by yourself then all the more it becomes difficult to get your self back into organized family set ups but then we move on in life in different phases, so all is part of the game
Fears and traumas from childhood are the worst to shake off. Especially when we begin to see them take shape where they are not needed. Their effects can be so paralyzing too that we don’t grow out of it.
But those blocks as you called them, kind of make us. We learn to overcome them and become what we thought we couldn’t.
I also feel like running away sometimes. How many times have I cried and just wished to disappear? Plenty! Yet, I stay and face my demons even when I feel like I don’t have the strength. And you my lady, are very strong and you are loved!
That's very true, these childhood experiences shape up our whole life and for what we become. Thank you for sharing your thoughtful comment
I thought it was only me that had this contrasting feeling in regards to family. I really crave independence and freedom but I also can't just not be around my family. I feel a sense of belonging with them and will be terrified to lose it when I decide to disappear and be on my own. For me, I hang on the sense of duty and leave the inner yearnings on the background for the time being.
We humans are probably designed that way, we cannot stay without each other and we also want to be alone at times. i guess it's ok to feel all of that, does not make it any right or wrong
Right. It's part of the human experience. What I noticed is that there are opportunities for both to happen, so we could learn to go with the flow and fully immersing ourselves in whichever of them happens.
I think many of us can relate to that family feeling, family is precious and there is nothing we Wouldn't do for them... BUT we also need a alone break at times to breathe. I had issues with that as I felt selfish when I wanted alone time but today I know its not selfish but a needed thing to be able to recharge and that helps everyone in the end 😊
You saying it well here sis and I totally feel you sis ❤️
You are such a beautiful person inside out and you do much for your family so you deserve everything that makes you Smile and feel happy.
Thank you for sharing your story and this... emotional blocks
I think we all been there in some way in life.
Much love ❤️💋🤗
I guess most of us woman have these feelings because we take up way more then what we need to.
Thank you for your kind words my dear, it means a lot to me.
Love and Hugs to you ❤️🤗
Vai-vai))) du bist sehr schön
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Thank you :-)
@nainaztengra ma'am,
You are welcome.
I'll keep up the good work & keep motivating content creators.
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