COVID WARD

This isn’t what I thought my move would be like. I didn’t make it two days before getting deathly ill.

I have COVID. I was diagnosed a week ago, but sent home as I wasn’t requiring intervention at that time. I thought I was getting better then suddenly I took a turn for the worse. I waited a few days because I wasn’t sure it wasn’t a last hurrah and didn’t want to waste resources. It was the wrong choice.

Yesterday I thought I was going to die. I woke up and couldn’t get a breath in. I tried to call for help but couldn’t manage enough air except to keep myself alive.

I called and messaged those I love and said my goodbyes because I wasn’t sure that I would make it to the hospital.

Help finally arrived and my sister’s only other employee drove me to the hospital. Halfway there I told him “I think I’m about to die” as my blood pressure dropped and the telltale pain and light headed sensation from the lack of circulation took its toll on me. I tried my best to keep my eyes open and stay awake but I know I passed out a few times.

When we got to the ER I could no longer speak. They put me in a wheelchair which was the most painful thing I have felt in my life. It as if I was hanging by my heart. They faced me directly at a family whose two children whispered loudly “está muriendo” to each other. It was at that moment I realized how bad off I was and I forced myself to sit up straighter. I don’t know how long I tried to tell them i was having chest pain but it wasn’t acknowledged until I was with the triage nurse and I was rushed back into the ER to be stabilized. Shortly after I was admitted to the COVID ward. I’ve been here since and expect to be here a long time.

I don’t know what drugs I’m on or how many, save for one treatment I’ve received.

I do know when I start to cough that I can’t stop and that the pain caused by coughing is getting worse. If it wasn’t for this nurse I would have died. I began to cough tonight and quickly my lungs tightened up and I was choking and unable to draw air in outside short gasps and after 5 minutes or so panic inevitably set in. I would have hyperventilated if she hadn’t been there to calmly read me my vitals and keep me cool and clean the vomit from my mouth and face.

I’m not out of danger yet by a long shot but I do think as long as she is here that I’m going to be okay. I hope I don’t give her COVID.

I’ve been sick since the 15th. There can’t be much more left to endure. I have to believe it’s almost over because if I don’t I might give up. I didn’t come here to die. I came here to start a new life.