Learning order together

Hello dear friends of this community, it is a pleasure for me to participate in this week's #kiss initiative. The truth is that this year I will celebrate 15 years of marriage with my husband, when we got married I was surprised that he was not as organized as I expected, even more when his parents have everything in its place, identified bottles for everything, perhaps because when I met him his work at the computer level was very methodical, but in household things he had a hard time keeping that same routine. But I think that relationships should not be based on finding the person who is like you, but that the company of one with the other makes each one a better person.

As the years have gone by, my husband has adapted to the order and peace that I like to have in the home and has made an effort to get better about cleaning. But he is very methodical and I think that is why he has a hard time achieving 100% order. When our son was born I was the one who destabilized myself, I didn't have time for anything, neither to tidy up nor to cook since my son had problems at birth and needed my attention every hour of the day, so it was my husband who was in charge of cooking, cleaning, tidying up and even washing the clothes of the three of us.

I do not consider that being a disorganized person should take away the opportunity to be with us, when there is love both will do their best to make the other person happy and that includes order and cleanliness. What I do think is that from the beginning of the relationship the person should give the point of view about the disorder, so they will know how much importance has the order and minimalism for us, the person there can decide whether to move away or try to adapt to our life and if they do the peace and joy they will feel will completely change their life.

It is not a question of the person has to change their tastes or their way of living if they want to be with you, the reality is that if they do, they will feel good about themselves, they will live without so much stress and this is synonymous with happiness. Many people talk about the better half, they even spend their lives looking for it when in reality the best person to get along with in a relationship is someone who is the complete opposite of you. Many times I talk about the relationships of friends and close people and I ask my husband, who is the fun and who is the bitter one in that relationship of our friends? And we always end up agreeing on the answers. Because in relationships there is always one person outgoing and cheerful and the other serious and bitter. In the case of my relationship I am the fun one.

Now in the case of being a maximalist person the thing changes, it is very difficult for someone to change their lifestyle totally for one contrary to yours, there would be many disagreements in terms of wasting money, buying unnecessary things, it would be a mistake to have a relationship with someone who does the opposite of what your lifestyle is. I feel it would steal the peace that has been achieved. Of course this is my opinion, but I base it on what happened to a friend, she was a maximalist and liked to spend a lot, she would buy anything unnecessary she could find and she married a minimalist, at the beginning of the relationship they both tried to give in a little in terms of lifestyle, but after a year it was uncomfortable to go visit them, she would buy things and her husband would live alone complaining and telling her that he was frustrated.

Before having a relationship with someone you should know each other well and decide if you are willing to change certain things to continue with the relationship and not only because you are in love at that moment, but if the love you have for each other is so great that you can spend a lifetime with someone and be happy even though your tastes and your way of seeing life do not match.

Thank you for reading this and I will be attentive to your comments.