Why are we talking about Valentine? its just the 27th

Ah, love is in the air, someone get me a face mask. Everybody's been talking about Corona virus being one of the worst pandemics, why doesn't anybody talk about love? that pandemic has been killing people since day one.

I may come off as hating love in this post and who know, you might too after reading this. Now why am I bugged about love of of a sudden you ask and even if you didn't, I'm still going to tell you anyways.

This has been happening for like 4 days now, I wake up all happy, thank God and open my phone and all I see are these outrageous valentine packages for "your significant other" everywhere. The first time this happened, I had to check my phone to make sure I didn't just wake up from a coma and its the 14th of February already.

These packages have different levels starting from the smallest teddy bear to two day vacations, kind of make the rest of us, yes, me and yo, kinda makes our single asses feel like shit.

So this particular occasion, yesterday, there I was minding my business, going on with my day scrolling through tiktok and finding new ways to cure cancer when I get a message notification from whatsapp. It read, "Hi Nelson, would you be interested in buying a valentine gift for any of your friends" which I immediately replied, "no".

She then proceeded to make a list of things she had in stock, did no suddenly mean a different thing while I was out? She sold lingeries and bed wear, not the sort of thing I'd want to buy for my grandma because if I'm going to have a Val this year, its definitely going to be her.

I don't hate love, I'm just a toxic person and I don't want to put anybody's daughter through that plus most people think I'm a psychopath because of my humor and I wouldn't even know what to do in a relationship, for example, what do I do if a girl tries to kiss me, do I knock her out with a pan and if a baseball bat better? I don't know.

What if she starts crying for no reason, do I do make myself a sandwich or do I watch a movie??

What if she storms out when its raining after we have an argument, do I close the door behind her or go to bed? having to make all these decisions is why I can't be in a relationship now. I would pay the Grinch that stole valentine

I think I speak for most comedians and jokes like myself here when I say give us a comedyrumble 2.0