I Was Scared, But I Did It Anyway

I used to be the one person who always said fear was a state of mind and all believed it. But guys, to some extent I take my words back because I have found myself in situations where I almost lost my life and I tell you today that fear is actually real. In that moment , it wasn’t a state of mind- it was happening right in my face and God knows how hard my heart was founding in my chest.

With that being said, you’d agree with me that we all have our fears. For some, it’s the fear of public speaking, the fear of heights and so many other things. Someone’s fear might seem very basic to big so will your fear seem basic funny to others. That’s the weird thing about life. I am someone who likes to take care of things very well. I hat to have to harm someone or let harm come to me and this has made me so careful in everything I do. I have had people ask me why I’m so scared and I always say that, prevention is better than cure. You have your fears and so do I.

I have so many fears but the one that I can say I have totally gotten over will have to be the one thing I have been doing a lot recently. If you know me very well, you will either see me as a very quiet person or someone who is too knowing but you see my friends, that know I’m a very outgoing and funny person. I’m not everyone regular thing and I refuse to be and that’s why I keep a very small circle. I consider the people in my circle very close to my heart and I treat them like eggs. Once I like you, I’d go to the moon and back for you. I don’t have time to be acting shady and all of that with my friend, family and loved ones.

Aside all this, the one thing I had failed at for so many years was the act of confrontation. It wasn’t the confrontation I feared, it was why was going to happen after that I feared. I cared so much about my relationship with people I feared my confronting them about things will ruin. But truthfully, all it did was hurt most of my relationship and also leave me with hurt I couldn’t talk about. But that stopped when I realized that some of the people I considered as friends and loved one didn’t think back and think of some of their actions towards me. They took the fact that I let some things go as a yardstick to do worse and I wasn’t gonna have it again.

So what I did was to start calling anyone out as soon as they are going guilty. I don’t postpone or just be the bigger person. I address it as it is and talk about how it hurt my feelings, how it didn’t sit well with me or how this or that doesn’t fit in with my morals and values. Ladies and gentlemen, this is how I lost so many friends. Apparently, I’m the petty one now and honestly I don’t mind being the villain here because I don’t and won’t condone any form of disrespect or misbehavior.

It’s best to lose friends earlier and establish your boundaries than build a life with people whose values and morals don’t align with yours. It’s like saving the broken heart till their birthday is closer. Take that step now, conquer your fears.

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all images belong to me.

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