I'M SORRY

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I'M SORRY

I’m sorry I don’t say what you want to hear.
I’m sorry I use the wrong words.
I’m sorry I use the wrong emphasis.

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I’m sorry I don’t repeat after you.
I’m sorry I interrupt you.
I’m sorry I speak out of turn.

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I’m sorry I don’t believe what you tell me to believe.
I’m sorry I ask why.
I’m sorry I ask any questions at all.
I’m sorry I forget to ask how high.

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I’m sorry I forget to always submit.
I’m sorry I forget to fake it.
I’m sorry I don’t put on the clothes you tell me to wear.

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I’m sorry I disobey your orders.
I’m sorry I don’t smile all the time.
I’m sorry I forget to pretend I’m not constantly in pain.

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I’m sorry I never live up to your expectations.
I’m sorry I never measure up no matter how hard I try.

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I’m sorry I’m never good enough to fit in.
I’m sorry I’m just a bunch of crap.

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I'm sorry I need food and water to live.

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I’m sorry I need shelter to live.

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I’m sorry I need oxygen to breathe.
I’m sorry I need the warmth of other humans.

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I'm sorry for being alive.
I’m sorry I don’t fit in your box.
I’m sorry I’m different.

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I’m sorry I’m an individual.
I’m sorry I think for myself.
I’m sorry I decide for myself.
I’m sorry I’m under your rule.
I’m sorry you keep trying to rule my soul.
I’m sorry for being sorry.

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For a long time, I’ve watched myself say, “I’m sorry”, throughout the day for everything and anything. “I’m sorry”, seems to be the catch all expression to excuse any perceived slight or unacceptable behaviour in Canada. When did this start? I don’t know. Why did this start? Again, I don’t know. In fact, I never noticed myself saying, “I’m sorry”, so repetitively until I ended up exploring what I say “I’m sorry” for and why, which is another story. Even then, I didn’t realize that Canadians are so addicted to saying, “I’m sorry”, frequently, speedily, and with a total lack of awareness of doing so. This was brought to my attention by many people outside of Canada, mostly American, over a period of years.

I could go digging into research about the “I’m sorry” story, whatever it is, but instead, I’m sharing my own perspective about “I’m sorry”.

With focus, I’ve tried to cut down, tried to stop saying, “I’m sorry”, for every little thing, for every inconvenience, simple request, slight offense, social faux pas, you name it. I think you get the idea, especially if you’ve been around Canadians. It’s not that easy or simple. It’s like trying to wean myself off an addiction I can’t let go of, that somehow assuages whatever ripples uncomfortably inside of me. I’ve managed to reduce it with efforts at being aware of my thoughts and speech. I’ve noticed though, that if I don’t stay on top of it, I slip right back into the same old patterns.

Recently, I started thinking about “I’m sorry” again because someone (not Canadian) asked me what another person (a Canadian) meant when they said “I’m sorry”. I had to think about it before I could answer because even I was confused. Was the person actually apologizing for something that merited the “I’m sorry” response, or were they falling into the habitual Canadian routine of saying “I’m sorry”? I’m still not sure but I gave it my best, safest, guess that the person was actually apologizing for something they perceived as requiring an apology.

Now, I’m not saying that only Canadians apologize unnecessarily. I know this occurs with others also. That said, I don’t see this addictive need to repeat it incessantly, the way that Canadians do it. From observing myself, I have noticed that the constant repetition and reinforcement of others around me saying, “I’m sorry”, has become a mantra running on autopilot in my head. It has infected my brain with a programmed social response to the environment I live in. There is an unspoken social pressure to do the same as everyone else, to fit in, to be accepted as a member of society (any society). “I’m sorry” it isn’t the only program that has infected my brain.

So many people have inspired the “I’M SORRY” story, that I can’t list them all. It would be impossible. Instead, I dedicate this post to all Canadians and the Hive Community.

All photos taken by Nine with a Pentax digital 35mm camera lens.

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44 comments
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Finally! - !LUV - !BEER

And... I’m sorry my vote is not worthy enough! (:

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I'm ruley truly surry you feel that way. I don't share your sentiment though. Perhaps a hug would help? 🤗

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This is crazy but reality. It is not only the "I'm Sorry" that has become habitual, phrases like "what the fuck" has literally become the world's most frequently spoken out lines. I think it's just how perfect some lines fit into every sentences, it becomes almost impossible to keep them out, so it becomes so addictive.

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A crazy reality perhaps? You’re quite right, “I’m Sorry” isn’t the only habitual phrase. I like it that you’ve pointed this out. Your comment is also giving me ideas for other posts, thank you. Yes, the WTF catch all is another one. I wonder if using habitual phrases allows for avoiding otherwise uncomfortable feelings and/or experiences. What do you think?

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Uhm, since we most times say it unconsciously I'd say it's not really about any personal emotions, it's just that we're used to it and our brain tend to believe it's our most relevant phrase, so it often produces it. It's just like our phone keyboard, while we type overtime, certain words that we frequently use are often suggested later off while typing, so it's basically just like that.

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I agree with you, we do say it unconsciously most of the time. I wonder why our brain would do this:

it's just that we're used to it and our brain tend to believe it's our most relevant phrase, so it often produces it.

From what you've described, it appears that this process is an automatic response generated by our brains that we are unaware of. I wonder how this happens to become an automatic response.

Thanks for engaging in discussion, I enjoy it.

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@nineclaws
What an interesting post...sometimes you need to use the word "sorry" frequently because some people are always angry by default....lol

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I must admit, this makes sense! So many people are naturally upset about everything, so saying sorry frequently can actually be doing a lot to term them

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Some are naturally upset while some became angry people due to some certain challenges they are dealing with in life,but I believe that becoming paranoid or becoming an angry person is not the solution to overcome challenges...@espandorr

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@informationvault Well said. The anger thing is a waste of valuable energy, imo. Discussion and mutual respect are much more fruitful.

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Thank you, I appreciate hearing that. Some people are always angry by default, LOL, and saying “I’m sorry” will often smooth this, even though all involved know it’s just spoken as empty words. I find that kind of sad though. Sometimes there’s an expectation for a person to say “I’m sorry”, that has nothing to do with anger. It gets very grey and hard to pin down in words.

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Apology accepted

But you need to stop saying most sorry's and why do I say so.....that is because by acknowledging a petty problem, you give it existence and credibility.

A small mistake is often made worst when you try to fix it by saying sorry So it is sometimes best to leave things alone

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Why thank you! 😉

You're right, I definitely need to stop saying most sorry's. I agree with your point:

that is because by acknowledging a petty problem, you give it existence and credibility.

Sometimes it's not as simple or easy as leaving things alone. Have you ever been assaulted by someone because you didn't do what they said, or wanted through implication?

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(Edited)

Hey,

this is spectacular. The format you've concocted of a photo-essay followed by your introspective poetry-style stanzas and reflections is really unique and memorable.

The photos tore at my heart. You captured so much of the time, place, the moment you witnessed. You captured the loss and don't be sorry about that, I'm sorry you had to witness it hey...

But hey:; all true art comes from trials and tribulations, confronting the enemy within, exposing the harsher hidden realities all around us. Once so mundane and noticed not, now immortalized via your photography. The lady caught in a grimace of grief about to burst into tears, about to choke them back to not burst out was a harsh slap across my face.

Imagine how much human emotion is masked away from the viewer when donning a farce mask due to covid mandates & public health order? I shudder...

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Thank you, very beautiful comments @aagabriel.

Taking these photos during a four hour walk, while also talking to some people along the way. I had some incredible conversations. There were so many emotional ups and downs and I had my heart broken a bit too. From what you've said, it seems like I've captured some of that in these photos. These are sights I see every day where I live and it's increasing, but it's the first time I've ever photographed them.

I really like what you've said here:

all true art comes from trials and tribulations, confronting the enemy within, exposing the harsher hidden realities all around us.

It's impossible to avoid coming face to face with the enemy inside, when going into the creative process.
I experienced something very similar, but you've put it in better words:

The lady caught in a grimace of grief about to burst into tears, about to choke them back to not burst out was a harsh slap across my face.

I've been experiencing the pain of this for months now. I can't recognize people anymore.

Imagine how much human emotion is masked away from the viewer when donning a farce mask

Yes, shudder

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Manually curated by brumest from the @qurator Team. Keep up the good work!

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Impressive! I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry.
So many things to apologize for yet unnecessary because this is life. The words have been so used, it's become mundane.

I'm sorry...but is that dry poop I see there? 👀😳😅

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Thank you very much! 😁

You say so much with this statement:

So many things to apologize for yet unnecessary because this is life. The words have been so used, it's become mundane.

Are you really surry(sorry)😉😁🤣? Yes, that's a not so fresh deposit of poop by someone's dog. There's always some of that around, lol.

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I'm sorry but what is that green blob on your profile pic ? 🙃

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🤣🤣🤣 I'm surry(sorry) but that green blob on my profile pic is actually me.
I did a self-portrait, a miniature carving in amber. This is a photo of it that I've altered the colour of to make this oh so special (maybe/maybe not?) green blob. 🤣

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I c i need to see a bigger version lol my oldlady eyes just see blue something 🙃

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😁😃 I've uploaded the big version, would love to know what you think.

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time to break some programming

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(Edited)

You're on FIRE!!! 🤣
It's way overdue to break some programming! 😀

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So much truth in this, we are conditioned our entire life to be considerate of everyone, yet its uncommon to carry over the sentiment of self consideration in the same relation.
More power to you for living your life to the beat of your own drum!

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Thank you Breeze, I appreciate you checking out my post.
I think that we are taught to disregard "self" in very important ways, while inflating the aspects of "self" that are problematic at best.
It's not an easy path to walk to the beat of one's own drum, but I highly recommend it.
Cheers 🍻

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Amen to that, and just a pleasure, I saw your post in the promotion channel, and thought I'd stop by.
May your day be fan-fuckin-tastic!

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Thank you. 😊
I like your word fan-fuckin-tastic, LOL. May you have a fan-fuckin-tastic! x 10 😁

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My fiancé apologies a lot. I have helped him recognise the frequency that he apologises for things that he he didn't do wrong and should not apologise for at all. His constant apologies come from the root of his upbringing. His mother was constantly angry at him for every little thing so he learned to apologise frequently to get himself out of perceived trouble.

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(Edited)

I really appreciate it that you've shared this, thank you. Yes, this is something that happens too often.

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