ACTING AS A MEDIATOR WHEN CONFLICT ARISES

Being a middle man can be very important at some point when the need arises. However, some people choose not, to avoid unforeseen injury or unnecessary accusations that may arise while resolving conflicts. But then, I feel this inner satisfaction when I can stand in the gap and peacefully resolve a fight but I must admit that it requires lots of patience and words of wisdom. Patience because, when two people are in a fight, they are angry and therefore can release hurtful words to the mediator out of anger but then, there is a need for the mediator to tolerate whatever comes out to achieve peace again among the people involved. We are humans with diverse degrees of temperament, times we lose it with each other and that can lead to quarreling or fighting and that's why a mediator is always important.

Image source

A few years ago when I was still leaving with my grandma, I acted as a mediator between my two uncles in dispute. These are my family members who were far older than me and so it took me lots of wisdom and even some little prayers before I was able to settle them and they embraced peace again. It was a land issue and in my culture, females are not allowed to put mouth when it comes to land matters but seeing my uncles tearing apart, I had to step in politely with wisdom to put an end to the issue and prevent it from escalating.

We had a family land very big to accommodate two buildings and very close to the family house, well strategic that anyone would love to build his own house there. The other lands we have were very far away from the developed area and that is where most of our farming is being done. The eldest of my uncle was set to build his house and instead of carrying his brothers along, by sharing his building plans and the land he plans to use with them, he just did everything without single respect to the other 3 brothers. He did his architectural drawing to use the whole land capable of serving two people, brought in Engineers and workers, and began his building project. As a matter of fact, I was the one in charge of paying the workers and buying all the building materials.

Image source

One day, my second eldest uncle came home, saw the project, and was pissed off. Coincidentally, my uncle, the one building the house was at home too and severe quarreling set in. My younger uncle had an eye on the land too and so he was upset seeing his elder brother building on their family land without any deliberation. He threatened to sue him in court, he was already on the way going in search of the government to seal the building first. The eldest instead of accepting his wrong was claiming right as the eldest and so deserves the right to choose a land first before others. They were exchanging horrible words out of anger towards each other and when I tried to intervene, I received a whole lot of embarrassment. To them, I am a child and have nothing to say but I was so hurt deep down seeing them quarreling to the extent of attracting the neighbor's attention.

Image source

To cut the story short, night came; I visited each of their rooms with words of wisdom, trying to make them see their faults and the need to sort out the issue before it escalate. My eldest uncle in particular finally accepted that he was wrong after all, in as much as he is the eldest, others deserve a respect at least information before starting the project. He later went to the younger brother whom I have succeeded in calming down his temper, apologized to him, and even proposed to share the land instead of using all but then, he allowed him to use it all as planned. This was possible because peace already set in. I tried settling this matter by individual approach, with reasons why they should make amends and it worked! Some issues might need you to sit the people in question down and hear them express themselves anyway but this was how I handled this particular conflict as a mediator.

Sometimes, we don't have to give up even as a child we may be until we achieve a reasonable result. I was a child to them but that child brought in peace again to the family.

This post is in response to the #hivelearners community contest week 29 edition 1 topic titled MIDDLE MAN

Thanks for reading friends 👍🤗