In my part of Igbo land in Nigeria, I have observed so much value being attached to male children far more than the female child. Whenever you hear the news of a woman that gave birth, the next question that follows is, did she give birth to a male child or a female child? (As if women are the giver of children). Most times, I pity some women who didn't have the privilege of birthing a male child in marriage because some inlaws usually make life unbearable for them. They believe that only a male child can keep the lineage going. A lot has improved but this issue of a male child has remained the same.
My father married his first wife for many years without a male child. According to what I was told, the first wife had two girls and they later died. Then she (the first wife) had some health issues that led to abdominal surgery which later affected her womb. Medically she had no chance of conceiving again and the pressure was so much on my father to take another wife who will bear him children to keep the lineage going. The first wife too was in full support of another wife as I heard and then, my father got married to my mom, and luckily for him, she bear him 3male children and 3 females. My father was excited and even killed a cow 🐄 in celebration of his first male child. When I grew up to hear these stories, I began to ask my dad why the male child is so important than females. Then he said that in our community, there are different clans and every clan has communal lands and economic trees inherited by their forefathers. Now, any family without a male child has no inheritance in those land and everything in it, and as far as I know, they hold this inheritance in high esteem. Even the wealthy ones always struggle to have a share of it.
Some families who have no male child are always exempted during the land allocation. No wonder the pressure from any man whose wife doesn't bear a male child to take up another wife. This mentality is still very much in practice and I don't like it. In the Igbo culture, the land is regarded as the most important thing a man can leave for his children along with other properties. However, when it comes to communal land, the clan settles only the parties that are qualified (male child) to share the heritage.
I have lived in Yoruba land (another ethnic group) for 9 years now, and I discovered that they their culture permit them in sharing land with both male and female. Unlike my part of Igbo land which values male children more. I hope that we will come to a point where we rule out gender inequality when it comes to our culture while still enjoying the inheritance from our forefathers.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR TIME ON MY BLOG😇
This inheritance you guys are doing tell me more Na, merit, Amie, you ... weytin sup
Is inkwell prompt in collaboration with dreemport.
hehehe - he didnt' know?? LOL
He didn't Dreemie ❤️🥰
good thing you informed him.. hahaha maybe @quduus1 will have somethign for the last week of the challenge next Thursday! lol
I will personally drag him to write ✍️😄....it's a must , hehehe 😉
Lol 🤣🤣 I don't understand everything Lol 😂
Don't worry, I will explain better via discord
Not on discord but WhatsApp please
I am so lost dreemie🤦
We want sell you sharp sharp travel to Canada, so we dey tell you the story down😹😹
Well, it's a prompt from the ink well community the theme is "Heritage", it's a nonfiction prompt, so you too can join the contest and share with us your heritage, we would love to read from you. @quduus1
When is the end date
I tagged you on the prompt post, go check it out.
Okay let me check it..
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The Yoruba place so much value on both genders which I admire a lot, the Igbos believe that a girl child is good as useless, but thankfully today, the girl child does what some male children cannot do, which is making this tradition die.
What a man can do, a woman can do too, and even better.
You write about a social condition in personal terms. This captures the very spirit of creative nonfiction. Your piece is not only true, but is also true as it relates to you. We are interested in what you write because there are both social and personal elements. Your narration is strong.
In Igbo land the preference for a male child is more than tradition. As you explain, the gender of the child has real-life consequences. We do wonder, what happened to your father's first wife? Was she put aside or did she reside with the family, in the same home?
Thank you for sharing this with us, @nkemakonam89. We appreciate that you support other writers in the community with your comments.
My father's first wife still resides in the same home with us to date.
I really appreciate your supportive comment and your time in reading my story. Thank you so much 👍
So you have economic trees😂😂
Yes I do 😂😂😂
Well, let's see how it works in few years to come
We the Igbos actually know it will take a longer time than you think to get this dream of gender equality as regards to this particular matter actualised and my major reason is nothing other than that our enlightened men do not fight these things but rather pray to have a male child and join the tune.
So who then will speak out when we all know that the men in the village are there for these kind of things..... They live for it actually so it's definitely not them saying any contrary thing to what is already in practice 😂
They all need a reset in their mindset ☺️
I mean, even with civilization today? It's still yet to affect the culture 😂.... every child is a child irrespective of gender, I really hope our elders can see this and probably copy this one thing from the Yorubas..lol
We can only hope for the best
It must be hard on families who aren't blessed with sons there :( ... How much land is usually given?
This post has been manually curated by the VYB curation project
Yes, it is
Every male child gets one plot of land each and a plot of land in my place cost about #2.5million naira
Thank you so much for the curation 👏👍
Oh, then it can make the difference between being rich or poor :( ...
My pleasure :)
Sometimes I think there's a godly blessing attached to these properties as inheritance because it baffles me a lot on how a very wealthy man will still be battling to secure a very tiny pieces of land for inheritance 🤔.
Maybe there is a godly blessings which we are yet to find out
As a daughter of both the Ibibio and Igbo lands, I could relate with this very well. It's a wonderful thing to be be born into the age where the gender of a child doesn't really matter anymore. How horrific it would have been for the girls born into these times.
A wonderful read. Thanks for sharing this with us.🥰
I really hope my part of Igbo land can reach this stage someday
Thanks for reading
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You tell us a strong experience for a woman and for the family. Condition the ownership of the land to the possibility of having a son at some point must have had a reason, but as you say hopefully this custom will change and the daughter will be valued and reach that equality desired by many people.
Exactly....this is my wish
If wishes were to be horses 😊👍
I appreciate your nice words and visit
Thank you 💕
The Igbo culture when it comes to inheritance is quite rigid and a male child is a must has driven many people into polygamy.
They end up marrying more wives because the tradition only recognizes the existence of male children to be the ones to carry on family virtues.
My brother, I wish this male child palava can be eradicated one day
I really wish as well, I know a man who has 5 girls. His wife is complaining about childbirth but she just has to continue trying until she gets a male child.
The good thing is that the man didn't get married to another wife.
Do you know that some women has lost their lives in the process of giving multiple births while searching for a male child? Some due to high blood pressure...leads to complications in pregnancy
This culture has done more harm
Too sad that women are the ones to pay the price for not being able to bear a male child. It is time that they understand that women are not God and they don't decide the child's gender.
I really hope they can understand this bro
Good morning 🌄
I do hope so too, happy Sunday to you.
This is one of the numerous things wrong with the Igboland. I also don't agree with the ideology. They do not value the female gender at all. They see us as properties and liabilities which is VERY WRONG. The matter is very long and if I decide to go into everything wrong with our culture, I might be here the whole day.
I just sincerely hope that moving forward, more women get empowered and realize the power we yield within ourselves. I really wish that women think more highly of themselves and set reasonable standards so this kind of abominable tradition ceases to exist. This is such a triggering subject for me.
Hey zita love...I think if there is a way women can express themselves against this particular culture, just maybe, there will be a different...it's just unreasonable honestly
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The demand for male children especially in with the Igbos can be nauseating. When I see the way women without male children are treated by their family, it disgusts me. Later people will be asking me why I want to marry outside Nigeria... 😂
Wait oo, Deraa, you want to marry outside Nigeria?
Yes na. Nothing concern them.
Oh wow! I didn't know the real-life consequences were substantial in terms of future wealth and prosperity too. That's truly interesting! I do think its time that both genders were treated more equally though. Thank you for explaining the differences between the tribe ideologies and the impact on their lives as a result !LUV !ALIVE
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This is the part I really need my people to look into closely and adjust the culture. Treat every child equally no matter the gender. So many mothers who didn't give birth to a male child don't have peace in their Marriage.
Thank you so much Sam for stopping by 👍🤗❤️