The Flight Attendant You'd Never Forget || [WE-126]

One thing I know about flight attendants is that they are always nice. Well, they often are. And yeah, I know that they are paid to be nice to airline passengers, but nobody really ever said anything about being a thrilling one.


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Out of all the many options to pick from, my eyes zoomed in on just one that piqued my interest as a spontaneous idea sprung up in me.

This weekend, we have yet another set of exciting topics to pick from, provided by our very own G-dog. This time, I am going to be a flight attendant, but not your ordinary flight attendant. Why? because "nice" is boring. And make all trips all the same and very far from memorable.

I mean, everybody forgets the faces of the stewards they meet the very moment they get off the plane. If I am going to be your flight attendant, you sure are going to remember me.


𝒲𝑒𝓁𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝑜𝓃𝒷𝑜𝒶𝓇𝒹


As usual and expected, I will welcome the passengers just before we are about to take off and the doors are all sealed. But they'll hear will be quite unwelcoming...

"Ladies, gentlemen and those in-between. Welcome to Doodle Airlines. I am John Oswald. Not Jack Oswald. And I'll be your flight host."

"I'd like to let you know that you have entered the wrong plane."

"Do sit back, fasten your seatbelts and don't relax."

"Thank You."

And with a sinister smile, like that of Jack Oswald (Joker), I walk backwards slowly, ignoring every "Uhhh...is this some tiktok show?"

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Maybe I'll respond with, "How about we find out?" And then gradually enter into the darknss of the entrance to the flight deck. Of course, I would have turned those lights off. How can I afford to be that careless?

I know for certain that I would have sent some shivers down someboby's spine. Or at the very least, some kid would be afraid...anyway, we're getting there.



"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We take off in two minutes. Fasten your seatbelt if you haven'e and prepare for departure."

Maybe now will be a good time to put up a little show. I could start with flickering the lights in the cabin. Just one or two, like they do in the movies, should do the trick...

And just about 20 minutes after the take-off...

I'll come again to announce...

"We seem to be experiencing some minor problems."

"We have lost communication with one of the engines."

"I think it has to do with the atmospheric pressure."

"So if we could all hold our breaths for fifteen seconds, we should be fine."


fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve...three, two, one...


"Okay. That should do. Great job everyone."

"We apologise for all the inconveniences."


And then I go I go back in, walking backwards with my sinister smile.

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At this point, I very well may have given them the impression that they have entered the wrong plane, which I warned them about in the beginning.🤡

Again, I'll wait till another 20 minutes. And this time what they hear is...


Two gunshots...



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And then with some ketchup on my shirt, and a little on my face, I'd come out and say...

"Hello again... You must have heard that... the turbulence"

"So, ughhh... I had a good day yesterday, but not a good night."

"I came home to meet your friggin pilot-butt naked in my house...with who else, non other than my wife..."

"And so... I don't know, he kinda slummed and he isn't responsive now."

"So if you've always wanted to fly a plane, now is your best shot."

I think at this point, the majority, if not all, may begin to fear for their lives. So I guess we may be getting somewhere at this point.

I'd expect panic at this point and hysteria to ensue...as planned. And while they're all panicing...(I just hope nobody dies before I come again)... I'll go back in again.


With a tray of freshly made Italian tacos, I'd come with a new smile saying...


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Remember when I said "Do sit back, fasten your seatbelts and don't relax"?

Yeah, I meant that.

I am starting my career with acting and I have an audition in a couple of months.

The whole drama we had here today on this airline was scripted, and the pilot is perfectly fine.

But since y'all may be pissed off, there is a special treat for you.

Italian tacos for everyone! It's on the house, Doodle Airline. There's ketchup too.

This is if I don't take on a hell of a beating instead.


I know how unlikely this can happen. But just imagine it actually does, you are so not forgetting such a flight attendant.

If you were a passenger in this plane, how would you have felt? And how would you have reacted? Let's talk in the comments...


Thumbnail by Gerhard from Pixabay

Tacos image by JaimeAP from Pixabay

GIFs are powerd by Tenor.


This post is in response to the #WEEKEND-ENGAGEMENT topic, "A Flight Attendant". If you would like to know more about it and the community, click here.


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ℍ𝕖𝕪, 𝕚𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥, 𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕪 𝕝𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕒 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥, 𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘, 𝕠𝕣 𝕦𝕡𝕧𝕠𝕥𝕖. 𝕀𝕥'𝕝𝕝 𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕.
X37EMQ9WSwsTDm32MTU6UaCXU9BSX58WoWTjz71QxpCjW8MxvpDvdYp38mXtdwmQAfcRpddJzQAHKYtmrPVgXuD9QVYFzHAAbWLhb.gif

𝒮𝑒𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓃𝑒𝓍𝓉 . . .



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27 comments
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Note to self: Never get on a plane in which you are the flight attendant, another plane, any plane, may be safer.

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😂😂

Come on. You only live once any way.

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No need asking how I would have felt or what I would have said if I was in such a plane

I'll just make sure to use bicycle next time I want to travel far... I will definitely get there with peace of mind 😒

Flight attendant, greetings to you 🙄

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Ah ahn... you don't want to like a little? You just want to sit and be watching Lee Min Ho all through the flight abi? Dey ride that bicycle go meet am for Korea

Bicycle girl, greetings to you.

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🤣🤣🤣🤣
This is fair enough, I rest my case

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I see that you are high or no, you have watched too many movies and now you are already becoming a joker. How can you come out for the last time to tell us that you were treating us to an Italian dish after making us pee in our pant? I will throw that food on your body after acting like it's fine and also I will show you that I have my own script also and trust me you will be shivering, hehehe. By then your smiles will be fading away 😁😁.

In fact, you will be praying very hard that I should not be part of those who boarded that plane because it won't be as fun as you thought it was going to be, I love such adventures you see 🤓.

Bravo Joe, I so much enjoyed reading through this and I was trying to think of what I was going to do if I was a passenger on that plane and I started filling bad for the flight attendant 😭.

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🤣🤣I have seen the people that will throw me out of the plane...😁

Shey you no go like my Italian dish ni?? I gave you a free show, with item 7, you still are not grateful.

Me I know that if it is Nigerian people that are in the plane, my own haf finish. Na me go wash plane that day.😂😂

I am not sure what I would do if I met such a flight attendant...
I'd have been singing...Shey you dey whine me ni ni ni...no ooooo

I am super glad you enjoyed reading through.

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I'm happy you already know those who will be flinging you out of the plane without parachute, hehe.

Which type of Italian dish is that one, when I get home I will prepare pepper soup and pour dry garri inside sit down and eat, mtchew 🤣🤣.

Thank God you know that you can't play that rough play with Nigerians, wash plane ke, you go collect woto woto, lolz.

Me too sha, I'm not totally sure what I would do to such an attendant, I might not even do the person anything because I will be part of those with strong hearts 😁😁. Please send me a voice note of the song you want to sing, hehe.

I actually loved it, it's making me laugh anyhow here 😅😅.

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😂

I know you will be part of those that will want to throw me out.

I used to see italian foods a lot in movies as a kid. So it's something I have always wanted to try. Just keep you pepper soup for your husband.

I can sing it in the vn o... no whine me

Thanks for reading jare

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Of course, hehehe but I'm not like that 😂, I'm just teasing you.

Yes I've heard of them too especially their pizzas, but for now the pepper soup is helping matters, hehe.

I will not whine you, why shall I?, I'm waiting sha 🙄.

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😂 Lord knows I would've passed out at the sound of those gunshots and if I didn't, I'll definitely be amongst those who would be beating the hell outta you. “John Oswald”, ay 😏... Nice try! You'd be one flight attendant I'd never forget, trust me 😅

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🤣🤣

I am really hoping I get everybody frightened and no one decides to come after me. Because??? dem fit throway comot for plane😂 John Oswald in the clouds...🤣

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Okay this is not me in your plane first of all... I would literally tie you down because you sound like a crazy pilot and I will use those seal tapes and close your mouth because what on earth is that???... scaring the shite out of me rofl 😂😂😂.

Obviously you have one life so let's play the game together... I'm not scared of death hahaha... I'm just scared of things I haven't accomplished hahaha so are you.... I will put a call to your mom and tell her what's going on perhaps another pilot who knows your family background will spill it out!😆😆

Shey na me you wan scare ni....
Shey you dey whine me ni ni ni...
Shey you dey whine me bahese..
You know the rest😆

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🤣🤣

Shey you dey whine me ni ni ni... no ooo o oooo😂

I didn't even of the possibility of someone coming after me...😁

But think about it oo... if you do meet a psychopath flight attendant, no be prayer you go dey pray?? That one no be like say e get one life.

You say you are not scared off death, abi?? I go hold am for my left hand.

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😆😆😆😆😆😆
Crazy that you continue it hahaha 😂😂😂😂
Well honestly I am not afraid cause my mind has accumulated so many tragic death of my beloved. If I should meet someone like that he would have a different version of madness of me haha...I don't know yet but who knows how the situation will be when you don't even know the turnup of the event.

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Ayyy... I know that feeling a bit. You loose enough people and then you just don't care any more.

The thing is, things could have escalated. What the flight attendant is a really psychopath and all that was just a tip off the iceberg? You know how it is in movies nau...

Have you seen Into the Night? It's a series.

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Geez!!!
Psychopath???? No way !!
I just dance accordingly first😁😁

You loose enough people and then you just don't care any more.

Exactly!.... correct... that's just it!

I would check that up as soon as possible although I had another recommendation from a friend....The Woman King... according to him it's super interesting and his reviews were great!

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I'll check The Woman King out. Thanks

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If I am going to be your flight attendant, you sure are going to remember me.

Lol... Truer words have never been said from a real crazy person!

Well this was a hoot! Note to self: Never enter a plane with any guy named "John Oswald".

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oh my goodness!!! i was reading and my eyes widen each time. hahahah!!! until i realized maybe you were writing a story!!! and yes you were!!! thank goodness! because i would go crazy knowing that maybe this happened! hahahaha!!! miss you @olujay take care always. have fun writing and DRAMA! oh my!!! i love it! u're such an artist.

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🤣🤣🤣

Yes yes... I got you! And that was so intended.😂

I have really missed you too, @erelasblog I have been hoping to find your message on Discord so we could connect better. But I figured you may not be so familiar with Discord that much. What messaging app do you use, WhatsApp?

I am super glad you liked my writing. I actually write more than I sing here. Thank you!

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I would definitely try to get off your plane. It is the one place I do not like any frivolity coming from the crew. I could not handle it at all.

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So you'd take the next parachute and just jump your way out??🤣🤣

I totally get you, though. Any sign of frivolity from the crew is going to bug me seriously. We're talking about thousands of feet above the ground.

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Sure - I would get out.
In reality - if a crew member is fooling around- if I am up in the air already - I am stuck but I would speak to the the person and remind them of their code of ethics etc.

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Yeah, I think that's the next best thing to do: Just remind them of their code of ethics.

I haven't been active in the city lately, but I know you haven't as well. How has it been with you?

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