DATE NIGHT: FIRST-HAND EMBARRASSMENT & LESSONS LEARNED

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This has gotta be top five on the list of most embarrassing things I have ever done. So, I was in 200 level (year 2 ) in Uni at the time this happened.

There was this really fine guy who had eyes for my rummie(roommate) at the time. Meanwhile, it takes a whole lot for me to admit that a guy is good-looking, so believe me when I do so.

Anyway, he liked my rummie, and he decided to be friendly with me just so he could get to her. Oh well, considering how many freebies I got, best believe I linked them up together.

Yo! Don’t look at me like that, because if you were in my shoes, you'd do the exact same thing.

Long story short, I linked them up, and they liked each other. So, he asked that they go out on a date. It was meant to be a date for two, but my friend insisted I tag along. Although he didn’t think it was cool, she told him she’d either go with me, or she wouldn’t go at all, so he agreed.

When she asked me, I pretended that I didn’t want to tag along, but I'd only do so because she wouldn’t stop begging me( lies!) I legit wanted to hang out. I mean, with all the “shege”(as in stress) I was dealing with at school, who wouldn’t appreciate a free rich meal?

Anyway, he didn’t have a car at the time (as per he was a student in year 5), so we boarded bikes to the restaurant. My friend was on one, while he boarded another.

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We got to the venue about twenty minutes before him, and when he finally came, the look of embarrassment on his face was too glaring to go unnoticed. I’ll explain why.

Upon arriving at the venue, Faith and I discovered it was packed with people, and we immediately got cold feet. At the time, neither of us had been on a proper date, so we weren't sure what to do. We couldn’t decide whether to go in and wait for him, or stand outside(the premises).

Our confusion led us to panic and decide to stay outside. We didn't go in because we wanted to avoid attracting unnecessary attention and because we weren't sure if we'd have to pay for entry (broke girls). In spite of this, we got a few weird stares since everyone was sitting, except for the waiters.

Anyway, the 6’5 beauty of a guy arrived to meet us standing outside, looking like two lost puppies. It’s been years, but I still remember the look on his face, lmao, it was horrible.

His first reaction was to tap his forehead as if trying to jolt himself back to reality, roll his eyes and look at us in disbelief.

He goes “Wait, what are you people doing outside? Why are you standing here like this?

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Faith & I: We were waiting for you (all the while I was stammering out of embarrassment)

Fine man: Fuck, you guys should have gone inside instead of standing here and attracting unnecessary attention. Wait, Faith, is this your first date? Let’s go inside, please.*

I immediately answered on her behalf(with lies of course), I wasn’t about to give him bragging rights just because he was the first to take my friend on a date.

Talmbout: "Well, at least I gave you something new to experience.". I gave you your first-ever date, so you should thank me for the exposure...

Me to fine man: Of course, it’s not her first date, she just wanted to walk in with you.

Anyway, we walked in, heads up, back straight as if nothing had happened, lol.

As for me, I collected my own plate of fried rice and jollof rice with chicken( nothing concern me pass food). I pretended to be so engrossed in a TV show just to give them the impression that I wasn’t listening to his lame pickup lines(men need to do better seriously).

Upon returning home, my friend and I laughed about how much we embarrassed ourselves, the dude probably laughed at us too. We agreed that we lacked exposure and needed to hang out more often. We even planned to learn how to use cutleries properly, but I’m still not a cutlery pro(my 7-year-old cousin is).

In the end, they didn't date because my friend was a church girl, but he was one of the bad guys(as she said). I missed the freebies though.

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MORAL LESSON: If you get to your date venue before your date partner, go in and find a comfortable seat with a good view. Don’t stand outside like faith and I. Be sophisticated (leemao😂!)