Comfort, a Poem
with the wing tip of your tongue
dart, swoop, dip, turn, glide
then rest with me here for a bit
so our worlds can turn
without my having
to push mine
One might think that a very short poem takes a very short time to write. The opposite is true. When it comes to my work, the shorter the poem the longer I worked on it. I wrote this in 2008.
0
0
0.000
Lovely.
I agree about the misconception around shorter poems. Unfortunetly, people just see the length and if they have no idea about poetic technique, economy of words and the art of creating imagery with out resorting to cliche, they just make a judgement based on the length.
I've been at this for so long now, both writing and curating poetry, that I can recognize poems that have gone through the editing process.
This poem seems to me to be an extended metaphor for the passion of being with a lover.
but I could be reading in to it and it could equally be a reflection on the mind of a sea eagle hunting before returning to the nest.
whatever the case it took me off for a minute down the paths of my imagination.
Thanks for that, and thanks for posting in The Ink well :)
Thank you for your comment. You've got part of it for sure, but there's much more. There are no sea eagles in this - that was the next to last poem I published. I don't think you saw that one so I'm placing it here, I hope that isn't bad manners to do. I think you might appreciate this, it's four very short poems. https://steempeak.com/hive-114105/@owasco/raptor-a-collection-of-poems
Oh look... another poem hahaha ;) I can say that because I know, that you know what I mean :)
And yes that makes complete sense re. The difficulty levels.
Beautiful as always.
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Thanks Jaynie, fellow poet. I look forward to more from you!
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Beautiful!
So, is that why my poetry is awful: I don't spend enough time hammering it into a finished product? I thought it was more of a stream-of-consciousness thing. That it should come easily, or it's being forced. Oh the things I didn't learn in college as an English major. My favorite poets, Eugene Field ("Little Boy Blue") and Robert Service ("Ballad of Sam McGee") were named in our textbook as examples of mediocre or banal poetry - eep! - that my be one reason I avoided all the poetry classes. I gravitate to Ted Kooser and Mary Oliver, also not popular among the critics. But I knows what I likes. And Iike @owasco's poems, which I hope you take as compliment, rather than say Consider the source. A Robert Service and Jack London fan? Yup! #notsorry
I'll bet your poetry is far from awful. I thought mine was too until I got involved with a poetry writing group. That was around the time hubby was dying, and writing poetry saved my life.
Check out these from jaynie who also thinks her poetry is awful, or did. I hope we've all put that idea to rest.
I spend hours and hours on a poem, then let it sit for a week or more and revisit it. I know folks who write stream of consciousness stuff (freewrites really) but the best stuff is very well thought out and simple.
Only my freewrite poems take a short time. I often want to tinker with those later too. Maybe I will go back to some of those and see if I can make them better.
Introduction to Poetry
Billy Collins
I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide
or press an ear against its hive.
I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,
or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.
I want them to water-ski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the authour's name on the shore.
But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with a rope
and torture a confession out of it.
They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.
Oooh I love this! Especially the brutal bit about beating a confession of it with a hose... but this most of all, this:
This is how badly I write poetry:
Size Matters
There are many excellent images in this!
Your trusty poet friend gave great advice. Here's a quick application of his ideas:
Something like that.
I like this poem of yours. I think you chose an excellent topic and expressed it well, but it doesn't need so many words.
Too many words - that's the bottom line!
I like your rewrite. I might pare it down even more:
We two-leggers, too small to see, trapped by gravity,
cling like cokcle burrs...
Thanks for the kind feedback!
oh he did not spell author like that. just noticed. I love billy collins.
The less words needs more
Careful thinking to make
a haiku poem king…
If I may say so, @owasco ;)
Of course you may say so! I do spend a ton of time choosing just the right word that could take the place of three or four words. I like short things. Except for excellent novels. Those I like very very long so I can live in the world for longer.
Really nice poem, you have a great ability to express an idea with very few words, unfortunately, I'm very far from this but with practice maybe one day I will also be able to create short poems, which can say more than what a thousand words could say.
Thank you for those kind words!
Whenever I begin to think something of mine is almost done, my final step is to take a bunch out. Last week I cut a 1000 word story down to under 500!