Becoming a Parent

Today's contest in the Hive Learners community is an interesting one for me because it's something I've quite thought about on multiple occasions. You see, I've often asked myself how I would feel if I had a child and I found out that they were in a relationship, especially when they're faraway at the university.

Trust me when I say that none of the response I got from myself to myself was a pleasant one. Imagining it alone makes me want to place my son or daughter on house arrest for life. Now I know that is a little too much and many of you might be wondering why I wouldn't want my kids to date at a young age, well I'm an African man and over here, the thought of us dating at a young age (18 years to even 25 years old) doesn't sit well with our parents and that brings me to today's contest.

You see I've always been that kid who does what daddy wants when I was at home but the moment I got into the university and got the sweet taste of freedom, that was when the real me got out. Freedom can be intoxicating, luckily for me, I didn't really get that high but I did got high.

I started to do a couple of things I normally wouldn't do at home which to me, I feel it's normal to everyone. But like I said, I didn't really get that much high on the alcohol called freedom, so I always tried to respect myself and drew a line on certain things I wouldn't do, things like smoking and cultism.

But in the spirit of being honest, there are other things I did do in school that I honestly wouldn't be happy about it if I heard my kid was doing things like that too. Things like alcohol which I probably only take due to peer pressure (I honestly don't get the deal with alcohol, it's very bitter).

Now this is me talking about the adult stuff, but when it comes to things I did as a kid that I probably wouldn't want my kids to do, I honestly can't think of anything because to be very honest, my dad was a disciplinarian, the kind that took no nonsense from nobody.

The man was so strict that even my friends were scared of him, so the fear just didn't permit me to mess around, so I was more of the model child. Doing everything mom and dad wanted me to do.

But if there's one thing I would want to do with my kids that my parents didn't really do much of, it would be showing affection towards them. Telling them I love them and hugging them, probably even planting a kiss on them every now and then.

Aside from those things, I think that's it. And this is because while growing up, I really didn't do much as a kid. I wasn't the black sheep of the family or anything like that, I was more of the child they used as a good example even though I wasn't all righteous. I guess I was just good at hiding stuff and that is one thing I hope my kids never get good at.

I hope to be able to read them like a book, to know when they're lying and when they're not, that way I get to be in charge and also get to control things because to be honest, kids these days do scary things that even you as a parent won't believe unless you see it for yourself.

I guess at the end of the day, thinking about being a parent is a little bit scary but I know I will figure it out when the time comes.

_{Photo by Julian Hochgesang}