My relationships with my parents CCQ #2

Hi everyone
My greetings

So I got to see another prompt from cross culture community. And this is related to the most important part of our lives, our parents. I found it very interesting and thought of participating as soon as possible. So finally I am here to share my story.

Image Source

1 What role do/did your parents play in your life?

My parents specially my mother has been the most important character of the movie of my life. She is my inspiration and she is like the love of my life. My mother used to tell us how she wanted to continue her study after 8th class but she was not allowed to do so., due to unavailability of school in her paternal village. There was a school in the nearby village but girls in those times generally not sent to the schools that were far from their home. So she couldn't study more despite of her keen interest in studies. Later she was married and then all the responsibilities of married life. Around 20-30 years ago, in my native state things were totally different for the females. They were not that much respected and specially life after marriage was a real struggle for ladies then. Life of my mother too has been like that. But she crossed over all the struggles and troubles in her life. She has always been strong, and she tells me that her kids were her only inspiration to continue her life. Listening to her life stories I learnt a lot of lesson. As her marriage life was not that good, I was also not interested in marriage stuff. But later i agreed to get married and I am ok with it now.

So there are a lot of things which I can mention here but I am going to mention the two most important events of my life.

I had a great interest for aircrafts and so after completing my 12th standard with science stream, I wanted to enroll for Aircraft Engineering Course. But the problem was that the Institute was far away from my house and I had to stay in the hostel so that thing was not something liked by many people around me. My mother and father ignoring everyone shown their full trust in me and they enrolled me in that course. My father has always followed the instructions of her elder brother, this was the first time that he didn't gave attention to the wish of his elder brother. So I completed my course putting my all efforts into it. And I was the topper of my batch, my parents were very proud of me. I am happy that I was able to make them proud and showing everyone else that supporting your girls is not bad at all.

Later on when it was about my wedding. In villages generally people got their children get married with the ones whom they think to be the right choice. Now these things have been changed a lot. But even now still at many places choice of kids is not preferred at many places. And they are not allowed to marry the person of their choice. In my case, I told my mother about my best friend from the college and I told them that if you and father like that boy for me, it would be good for me. In case if you don't like then you may see someone else for me. I said I will go with your will just go and meet that person once. So my mother told everything to my father and they agreed and then they went to meet the boy and the family. Thanks to God my father liked him for me. Then we got happily married. 😄 For me this is the best thing when you start your journey with the blessings of your parents. And all happened because of my mother's support and understanding with me. This was a very big thing for me as there were still a lot of people around me who didn't want it to happen.

2 Has your relationship with your parents changed over the years?

Yes it has changed a lot specially for my father. My father is a short tempered person and so he easily got angry even when we were kids. So when I was a kid his image was not that good in my eyes. But after a few years I got to feel his care and concern towards us. Specially his support for my studies make me feel better about him. As he is just a farmer and he didn't have that much resources to pay all the fees, he took some loan and paid my whole fees.

After the birth of my daughter I came even closer to my parents and to parents in law. The day I got the confirmation of my pregnancy I was so happy. Hubby too got so happy when he got this news. And with this joy comes the feeling how much parents feel happy for their kids how they love them unconditionally. So after the birth of my daughter my relationship with my parents became more beautiful.

3 Is there anything you with your parents would do（or would have done) differently.

I just want my father to be a little more caring towards my mother. Although he is a very nice person full of goodness, the one thing that I didn't like about him is that he followed the instructions of his elder brother always, he never took the stand for my mother and that's why she has to suffer a lot. Even he himself suffered a lot when his brothers ditched him in the later years of his life. So I feel being that much good is also not that good for you. Sometimes people take benefit of your goodness and then you have to suffer.

4 How are you similar to your parents?

I feel I am the zerox of my mother., not the facial features but it's the character of mine. A few things I inherited genetically and a few big lessons learnt from her during the years spent with her. I feel my love for books has come from her only.

5 How are you different from your parents?

I am different from my parents, my thinking pattern is different from them. Also my attachments to the world and the worries about all affairs related to this life are lesser for me. My mother get worried too much whenever she sees any of her kids in stress. But it is not that much in my case. Yes me too get stressed at times but not that easily.

6 Do you prefer a more involved relationship with your parents or more distance?

Neither more involved nor more distance as I feel my relationship with them is perfect for me. I do talk to my mother on a daily basis, and to my father weekly or quarterly. But most of the times I don't share with her my tensions (if any i have at times) as I know she will be thinking all day and getting worried for me. That is something i dont want for her. I want her to be happy and peaceful. These days since last year high blood pressure has become a big issue for her. At times when she don't feel good i want to be with her but life doesn't always allow me that. And I regret at times this thing only, that I can not be with them when they really need it.

Image Source

In the last before concluding my post, I want to mention one more person who is not connected to me by blood, but she is just like my mother and she is my mother in law. One of the most precious gift of my life she is. As I left my house after my marriage she never let me feel that I have left my home behind. She always treated me, loved me and cared for me just like her own daughter. She is a very very nice person with a heart of Gold. I love her just like my own mother. So I call her too maa'. Really grateful for her kind presence in my life.

That's all about my relationship with my parents. I want to thanks @selfhelp4trolls for these interesting prompts on behalf of cross culture community. I feel good sharing a major part of my story. Share yours. Here is the link

Thank you everyone for making this journey worthwhile.
I wish everyone love and peace
@preets