My feminity My power

Hello everyone, I hope we all are having a blessed week . No matter the struggles we shall overcome.
Here's my entry for the LOH community contest #181.

Being a woman is very exciting, intriguing and can also be so overwhelming. There are days where I wake up and feel so lucky and blessed to be a woman, especially the favors and honors that comes with being a woman and there are also days where I regret being a woman, days where I wished I could swap genders or sex with my brothers or any male counterparts. Behind every amazing, successful, happy and smiling woman are nights where she soaks her pillow with tears, nights were pains,agony,depression,tears were what kept her company and her cuddle partner. Life has a way of messing with me everyday but the only thing that makes more sense in the midst of the chaos is my ability to stand up dust myself and move on stronger. There are several things that constitute to women’s hormonal imbalance

Depression: one of the most common reasons why I fall into depression is my monthly flow otherwise known as menstruation. Two weeks or few days before my flow I experience severe mood swings which doesn't just affect my actions (mental state) but also my social and physical wellbeing which brings me to my conclusion that health is
a three dimensional state. In this state I cry a lot, I find everything anyone does attacking and offensive. In fact I find everybody and everything annoying . Everything that has ever happened to me, especially the bad ones, comes back to play in my mind and I will soak myself with tears and that regret sets in . I feel so depressed that looking at myself in the mirror pisses me off. So at some points I told myself that this has to stop because it wasn't making any sense anymore. The most annoying part is that once I am depressed I lose my body weight and I begin to lean. That's how bad it affects me. I searched for everything possible that could help me manage this particular hormonal imbalance but nothing came fruitful. But recently I found out that dancing to music helps me out of my depressed state . I am what I tell my body I am . That is the slogan that saves me.

Societal pressure: There is something about pressure and its impact is always very heavy. Women are always victims of societal pressure, peer pressure, family pressure. When I started university early last year I thought that I could get my A’s and B’s without any competition because it didn't look like there was going to be any competition. I went to night classes, I researched and I read my books. When the results were out even people that weren't coming for classes and mostly didn't seat for test came out with the best results like I mean A’s and then there was a me with B. I won't lie, I was hurt . The pressure got wesser in the second half of my year one and at some point I was almost pushed to do some stuff but then I remembered my mom’s word to always do what is right and let God do the rest. Then let's talk about the flashy things that students own, the cars, the wigs, the jewelries, the expensive lifestyle, honestly the pressure was high. There were days where I woke up, had my bath and then dressed up to go to school but then my inner mind would keep reminding me that I am not good enough. Ah Jesus and there were days where I'll stay back from school because I believed I wasn't good enough. At this point I knew I had to talk to someone because I was doing what I wasn't supposed to do. And then as at then I was always so lean and my colleagues would keep asking me questions that even me sef could not give answers and my parents when I get back home would be comparing me to my friends who also in school but are also looking healthy and fresh and it gets me piss of because I don't understand how am supposed to spend money like them when I don't earn like them ( my counselor said this to me). So I knew I needed to talk to someone because the pressure was high. And she told me that it is normal to be pressurized either directly or indirectly

And that I should always remember one thing:DO NOT SPEND LIKE THEM IF YOU DON'T EARN LIKE THEM.

And about my parents they only worried because of how lean school stress has turned me into.

So they easiest way I handle pressure, whatever kind of pressure it is, is to talk to a counselor about it and then pray and sleep.

Changes in appetite or sleeping patterns: this happens mostly when I am about seeing my flow or when I am down with a disease. Let's talk about when it happens because of my flow. Certain flow come with different dramas; it could decide to come with insomnia or hypersomnia.

Let's talk about insomnia. When I am experiencing this, I take medications which help me sleep. I know it's bad but that's the only way I can manage mine. I'll be glad if new ideas are shared. Then if it's hypersomnia I just go with it because I deserve that rest. Yes o, I deserve that rest.

About changes in my eating patterns this happens when I am mostly sick or depressed so I feed on junk.

Loss of interest in activities : This happens everytime and almost everyday because I am always doing what my body isn't ready for. I tend to read most of the time all through the night or just sit there pressing my phone and sometimes I get bored of doing such things and I automatically lose interest in doing them. I manage this by taking walk and then when I am back I'll be fully reinforced to start it up again.

Also I tell myself to remember why we started and automatically I get the energy to continue from where I stopped.

Women go through a lot on a daily basis. So wherever I see a woman respect one or even make a transfer ASAP. Because it isn't easy and I can boldly say that we are ther strongest being on earth. Because we go through hell and come out strong .

Throw a woman to the wolves and she will come back leading the pack

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Thanks for engaging in my post ❤️❤️.

I love y'all❤️