It's a mixed emotion for me.

I want to announce to everyone that I am back to my portable house where I have my freedom with no one to disturb my life, especially when working except for sounds and noises here and there, but I choose to allow that to distract me because I know how to handle such situations. But it's different from when I was still in the village and I am the only target in that house which pisses me off.

It was until I decided it was enough, but right now, it seems I regret leaving as I could have just stayed back since no one was chasing me out of that house.

A room to myself. A cool fan: I decide when it's switched on and off. A toilet and bathroom with running water to satisfy me: all I just need is to get up, take some steps into the bathroom and do whatever I want as no one will chase me out until I am done. Constant electricity to make me feel comfortable while my phone never goes off. I never used my power bank for over a month I have been in the village and that is to say, there was 24/7 electricity.

When the task was too much and unbearable for me, I decided to leave and come back to where I would be free, but I forgot the condition of my area. Hardly would you be given light even for two hours in a day, out of 24 hours. Is that not hardship? And to make it worse, the heat is extremely unbearable. Even my rechargeable mini fan is nowhere to be found and everything is making me frustrated.

Though, I am happy that I get to do whatever I want or like with no one calling me for different things to do in the house, at the same time, I am sad about returning here.

I live in a city where there is no light, I mean they play with it as if they had no toy when they were young. There is no water. Something I get any time in the village is what I am struggling to manage here.

It was when I entered the state last week Friday that I realized the life I am coming to live here. To say the truth, I won't be leaving here until June as they have extended the NYSC program, and it's one of the things making me feel sad each day. I finished school last year in February and I wonder what my school is up to: they never mind answering us on time, especially with our clearance.

Everyone had taken the opportunity to charge money for charging their phones and power banks. The amount they charge for phones is different from power banks and also torchlight. Can you imagine what I am facing here? I don't know if I should go back or just stay and endure the hardship. It's just six months, some would say, but to me, it's like forever for me.

The environment too is added to it. Do you know the environment you live in may affect you also? I mean when you are in an environment where they aren't positive about some things, you would be affected and that could be a problem. I live in an environment where they are limited to certain things and when you tell them what is right and wrong, they tell you it's how they have been used to it.

I was forced to open up and asked — don't you understand what creativity is? Aren't you pushed to learn more from what you know? But they aren't ready. For the few who are ready, the better for them.

In the meantime, I will just be indoors doing my thing while I only go out when the heat is something I can't take anymore and that would last for some minutes before I go inside again. I will keep coping with the light and when it's almost getting on my nerves, I would go and charge with money outside and I won't hesitate to always look out for any available place to charge for free, for example, taking my extension socket to church.

I will also try waking up as early as possible to fetch from the well, that is, clean water because anything after that hour, I will regret not waking up at the right time because the water will be a combination of chocolate and Lipton, hope you get it.

This is a mixed emotion for me at the moment — being sad and happy but I will try not to let sadness outweigh my happy moment because I need to be positive and encouraged all the time.

Thanks for your time on my blog.