The Pressure to Belong!!!

I have been a victim of peer pressure while growing up which has affected me a lot, from how I think to how I act, all of these were as a result of wanting to join their league. There is a phrase which is still common today which is, "If you cannot beat them, you join them." In a way, if you don't have what it takes to overtake them, then do what they do by joining them. This was me some years back while in secondary school.

My friends all had boyfriends whom they would keep talking about during breaks and when we were going home together, and because I was always silent as I didn't have any boyfriend to show off, it made me sad all the time and would wished I had one.

I tried having a boyfriend then. Though I had one who was a tout and was addicted to smoking and drinking all sorts of alcoholic drinks to dry gins, I was happy on one side because I had someone to call me but was also sad because I couldn't be proud to show him off.

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All thanks to my parents who quickly noticed my derailing path and took me away from that environment after I finished secondary school. When I moved away and for the first 3 months living with my aunt, my life changed, I mean I had a brighter and better mindset and realized I was better than thinking low of myself and trying to impress my friends because of the pressure to belong. I stopped and focused on growing while appreciating and valuing my overall self.

Growing up, I realized that even though there are people who would advise us, we still would decide on ourselves which way to go. I do tell people that no matter how much advice you get from people, when you are alone, you will eventually be the one to choose for yourself which one to go for, this or that!

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Today, I do not allow myself to be influenced by peer pressure from people anymore because I know what I want and nobody should dictate for me. Though it is normal for people to tell you what to do or which way to go based on their level of experience or expertise, taking one's advice would depend on how much you have known them or what they can or not do. Though we now have people who we can't read their minds as to whether they mean well for us or not, it is still important to do our research first.

Just like someone who wants to begin his journey in crypto, seek help from those who are into it to guide him through, if he doesn't take his time to research and have some basic knowledge about it first, things might go wrong along the line. Some people are best known to follow orders without thinking if it's right or wrong just because they want to please others. This is very dangerous in the end.

Everyone belongs to different peer groups and these groups have a way of influencing us either positively or negatively. For instance, a fellow who is surrounded by groups that read daily, like forming a book club will grow up to love reading and enjoying his time around them, likewise someone surrounded by those who smoke and gamble all their lives. Even if you don't want to do it at first, there is a possibility you will join them later because, in my tribe, it is said that a sheep that walks with dogs will end up eating faeces. That is just the same with humans. This is why we must take out time to choose our circle, asking ourselves the question, "are these worth staying with?" The truth is, we will always have the corrupt ones among the good people.

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Who wouldn't want to live comfortably when they see their peers doing fine? This is good but how they came up with the money is what matters because not all routes to financial stability are right. It is necessary to always watch out for the right people, and what they do before you even join their caucus as there are always repercussions for whatever people do.

When I first entered the university, I met with this lady and along the line, I got to know how serious she was to come out with good grades. Every week, we would come together to read, and from there, we had another lady join us making the trio focused on our academics. I enjoyed my time around these people because I could see their goals and aspirations. So far, we graduated with good grades from school and I am so lucky to join that group with serious-minded ladies.

Whenever I am in the midst of some people who aren't very serious, I immediately detach myself from them before going deep into it and maybe find it hard to move out of it. I have just a few close friends that whenever I sought advice from them, they try giving me different opinions and in the end, would tell me to still sit down and think about it before jumping into any. Everyone is trying and whatever advice we get and which one clicks, we feel we are lucky to have those kinds of people around us, but in all, we still should define our relationship and group with people so we don't get pushed elsewhere or being pressured to make us regret our actions later.

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_{All images were created by me on Bing AI}

_{This is my entry to Day 11 Inleo Monthly Initiative. If you are looking to participate, you can jump on it now by clicking the link below for more instructions.}

April Inleo Monthly Calendar