Person or Personality?

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“What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”

― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet


In a world crawled with desire and ambition finding the right people to share life’s precious moments is no less than gambling. Should it be the person or personality— a dilemma we all face as appearance could be deceiving. A part of our subconscious mind falls for the beauty, charm, and things mesmerising but the other part seeks for a match in characteristic melody.

Sometimes we find it hard to convince ourselves of the personality of someone if the appearance fails to hum. At the same time, the appeal of appearance poses itself as vague when mentality differs, and way of life clashes. There is no straightforward take on this I guess, still, we carry on. And that becomes possible when we respect the differences and learn to compromise; or what we say “celebrate the similarities.”

We have different lifestyles, different opinions, beliefs, and unique ways of individuality. These characteristics echo through our behaviour and attitude— make us unique from others. Although we share similarities, deep down confusion remains. It’s our nobility of characters that omits the loose end and helps us focus on commonality; making us agree on a point for the greater good.

But what if we couldn’t tolerate the differences like many of us out there?

Indeed, examples are at large. Be it in a workplace, social gathering, or even within the family, we have someone unlikely willing to accept the dissimilarities. Generally, they aren’t accepted with a wide smile, yet, not denounced. We get used to the traits after a while and mostly rant afterwards; away from their eyes.

Although those kinds of people are tolerated because of the power they hold, there are a few who admire them— like, literally. Perhaps they are more convinced by the power-practice rather than the person himself. And they wish they could have the same power to show off. Power— it’s contagious and has the ability to make people acceptable despite appearance or personality.

Now, what if we are to choose between the person or personality with whom we are in love?

It’s not that simple as I believe falling in love doesn’t always involve physical appearance or solely characteristic excellence. There is some sort of combination that makes the bond stronger. And those who are together for eternity, either have learned to appreciate the moment in unification or they simply don’t care whether love exists or not— it’s a lifeless living masking the emotions and after a certain time, they even forget why they were together in the first place.

It’s too common.

Cause being in a relationship is a perilous ride, things get messed up but somehow someone comes up with a truce that erases whatever reason it was behind the escalated situation. And despite the dissimilarities, they come to an agreement that surpasses the chaos. The agreement is more like a psychological contract; it happens on its own irrespective of characteristics differences.

In that sense, personality holds a higher ground in a healthy relationship rather than physical attributes. When it’s only physical, the root doesn’t go deep enough because of the abundance of beauty around. On the other hand, personality is unique— once we learn to appreciate its value, letting go becomes hard; sometimes impossible.


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8 comments
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This is a wonderful write up. Indeed, when it comes to true love one doesn't fall in love with the body, one falls in love with the personality. And for there to be a very strong bond, there has to be a strong connection. Very important.

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Yes, that's true for true love. We feel the connection deep enough when we fall in love with what's inside; not the appearance. And it's important for a lasting relationship, no doubt. Thank you for adding up my friend.

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Wes & Grindan
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Thank you for taking the time to stop by..... :)

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Everyone has their own personality or the way they think and that’s why I don’t really get to blame people of their choices
Everyone has what they feel is right or wrong

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Yes, as humans, we all are unique with different tastes and attitudes. What I don't like may be the best thing to you; it's about perceptions. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this regard.

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