Otras historias divertidas / Other funny stories
Saludos,amigos. Hoy les traigo otras historias divertidas,mi familia es muy especial y en nuestro núcleo siempre pasan cosas. Vamos a ver estas nuevas.
Una cisterna inoportuna
Para llegar a casa de mi abuela hay que subir muchas escaleras, tantas que llegas sin aliento, literalmente con la lengua afuera. En esta comunidad, desde hace una semana estaban sin agua. Mi abuela tiene cuatro pipotes grandes y dos pequeños, pero ya había agotado esas reservas. Mi tía Ernestina, que vive al frente, tampoco tenía ni una gota. Así que no se habían bañado y tenían todo el día comiendo pan. Preocupadas, esperaban un milagro, si no tendrían que ir a darse un chapuzón en el río, el cual quedaba muy lejos. Y esas señoras mayores no estaban para esos trotes.
Ese miércoles en la tarde, se sentaron afuera de la casa, cuando escucharon a los vecinos que dijeron que en la carretera, cerca de la plaza, estaba una cisterna que cobraba un dólar por llenar cada pote. Mi tía y mi abuela pelaron los ojos, pues eso debía ser gratis. Aun así, era claro que era el milagro que pidieron, buscaron cuatro pipotes en total, con gran esfuerzo, los bajaron, hicieron el recorrido dos veces. A pesar de que el agua estaba un poco sucia, era mejor tener eso, a no tener nada. El peso era muy grande, así que tuvieron que pagar para el traslado de los pipotes, cinco dólares más.
Descansaron un momento, luego, se pusieron a hacer algunas actividades que requerían del líquido vital. Mi abuela estaba exhausta. A los cinco minutos, empezó a llegar el agua y estaba más cristalina que nunca, al ver esto no le quedó más que reírse. Entonces, tendría que botar el agua que cargaron de la cisterna. No hubo otra solución que regar las matas, las pobres se iban a ahogar, le vertieron como sesenta litros (jeje), “Es bueno el cilantro, pero no tanto”, un refrán popular ideal para esta situación. Mientras esto pasaba, mi tía Ernestina empezó a echar agua por la ventana, pues era evidente su enojo, entonces mojó a una vecina que iba pasando. Rápidamente, se escondió hasta que pasara el alboroto –los reclamos de la señora–, aunque no podía evitar la risa.
Greetings, friends. Today I bring you other funny stories, my family is very special and in our core things always happen. Let's see these new.
An untimely tanker
To get to my grandmother's house you have to climb many stairs, so many that you arrive breathless, literally with your tongue hanging out. In this community, they have been without water for a week. My grandmother has four large pipotes and two small ones, but she had already exhausted those reserves. My aunt Ernestina, who lives across the street, didn't have a drop either. So they hadn't bathed and had all day eating bread. Worried, they waited for a miracle, if not they would have to go take a dip in the river, which was very far away. And those older ladies weren't up to those jogs.
That Wednesday afternoon, they sat outside the house, when they heard the neighbors who said that on the road, near the square, there was a cistern that charged a dollar for filling each pot. My aunt and my grandmother peeled their eyes, because that should be free. Even so, it was clear that it was the miracle they asked for, they searched for four pipotes in total, with great effort, they lowered them, they did the tour twice. Even though the water was a bit dirty, it was better to have that than nothing. The weight was very large, so they had to pay for the transfer of the straws, five dollars more.
They rested for a moment, then began to do some activities that required the vital liquid. My grandmother was exhausted. Five minutes later, the water began to arrive and it was more crystalline than ever, seeing this he had no choice but to laugh. Then, I would have to throw away the water that they loaded from the cistern. There was no other solution than to water the plants, the poor things were going to drown, they poured about sixty liters (hehe), "Coriander is good, but not that much", a popular saying ideal for this situation. While this was happening, my aunt Ernestina began to pour water through the window, since her anger was evident, then she wet a neighbor who was passing by. Quickly, she hid until the commotion –the lady's claims– subsided, although she couldn't help laughing.
Un primo hermano
Compartíamos un almuerzo familiar en casa de mi abuela, todos estábamos degustando sus delicias culinarias. En esa ocasión, comimos pollo guisado con arroz y plátano. Teníamos un rato en el comedor, cuando sonó la puerta. Mi tío Pedro abrió y era Justino, un primo hermano de mi abuela que teníamos tiempo que no veíamos. Nos visitaba, desde muy lejos y no le dio tiempo avisarlos, así que nos tomó por sorpresa.
En la mesa, todavía estábamos mi tío Valdomero, mi prima Angy y yo, ya que masticamos muy lento. Mi abuela vino a ver nuestros platos porque le había ofrecido almuerzo a Justino, pero no había pollo. Allí se dio cuenta de que mi tío tenía su presa intacta, puesto que dejaba lo mejor para el final. Mi abuela, de forma veloz, le quitó el pollo. No lo dejó ni de quejarse, le peló los ojos para que no dijera nada. Esa técnica nunca le ha fallado. Angy y yo nos salvamos porque nuestras presas estaban mordidas. Nos vimos y no paramos de reír, nadie entendía el por qué.
Mi tío Valdomero se fue molesto a su cuarto, pero trató de disimular. Se quedó con el sabor del arroz en la boca y no del pollo como tanto deseaba. En cambio, Justino comió muy sabroso y elogiaba las habilidades gastronómicas de mi abuela. Desde ese día, mi tío se come primero la posta –pollo, pescado o carne–, no vaya a venir un primo hermano justo a la hora de la comida (jeje). A nosotras también nos quedó clara la lección (jeje).
A first cousin
We shared a family lunch at my grandmother's house, we were all tasting her culinary delights. On that occasion, we ate stewed chicken with rice and plantain. We were in the dining room for a while, when the door rang. My uncle Pedro opened it and it was Justino, a cousin of my grandmother's who we hadn't seen for a long time. He was visiting us from far away and he didn't have time to tell them, so he took us by surprise.
At the table, my uncle Valdomero, my cousin Angy and I were still there, since we chewed very slowly. My grandmother came to see our plates because she had offered Justino lunch, but there was no chicken. There he realized that my uncle had his prey intact, since he was saving the best for last. My grandmother quickly removed the chicken. He didn't even stop complaining, he peeled his eyes so he wouldn't say anything. That technique has never failed him. Angy and I were saved because our prey was bitten. We saw each other and we didn't stop laughing, nobody understood why.
My uncle Valdomero went to his room annoyed, but he tried to hide it. He was left with the taste of rice in his mouth and not the chicken as he so desired. Instead, Justino ate very tasty and praised my grandmother's gastronomic skills. Since that day, my uncle eats the posta first – chicken, fish or meat –, a cousin brother is not going to come just at lunchtime (hehe). The lesson was also clear to us (hehe).
Solo muelas, por favor
Tengo un tío que tiene un leve retraso mental, debido a ello, no ha podido desarrollar el lenguaje ampliamente, por lo que en ocasiones se le traba la lengua, aun así trata de ser independiente y llevar una vida lo más normal posible. Ese día le tocaba ir al odontólogo, se tenía que hacer una prótesis. El dentista le indicó que el precio de los caninos era distinto al de los dientes molares. Cada diente salía en cinco dólares y las muelas en tres dólares. “En..en..entoncessss, hagamememelala totoda de muelalasss”, respondió mi tío. La doctora no pudo evitar reírse, al igual que nosotros al enterarnos de esa anécdota. Ese día, mi familiar, no se mandó a hacer la prótesis, pues sentía que lo querían estafar, como popularmente decimos aquí: “lo estaban robando sin pistola” (jeje).
Grinds only, please
I have an uncle who has a slight mental retardation, due to this, he has not been able to develop his language extensively, so sometimes he gets tongue-tied, even so he tries to be independent and lead as normal a life as possible. That day he had to go to the dentist, he had to make a prosthesis. The dentist told him that the price of the canines was different from that of the molar teeth. Each tooth came out for five dollars and molars for three dollars. "In...in...so, make memelala all of mouelalasss", answered my uncle. The doctor couldn't help but laugh, just like us when we found out about that anecdote. That day, my family member did not have the prosthesis made, because he felt that they wanted to swindle him, as we popularly say here: "they were robbing him without a gun" (hehe).
#posh
https://twitter.com/miuriel2015/status/1526233569131171841
https://twitter.com/miuriel2015/status/1526233569131171841
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