Defining my personality

Wow, what a wonderful topic for the month, I must say. Kudos to @kenechukwu97 for always bringing amazing topics. This prompt got me asking myself, "Do I know myself well enough?" I'm still thinking about the answer because my attitude or behavior determines how the other party relates to me. If you give me good attitudes that require me to reciprocate in the same manner, I will gladly do that, and if you give me bad energy that pisses me off, you will likewise receive a befitting answer to that too.

Image is mine

WHAT BOTHERS ME ABOUT THE WAY I LIVE MY LIFE?

What a big question! I am a carefree person, in the sense that I enjoy every part of my life as it comes. I wouldn't say I don't have worries, but I choose my happiness as the priority over my worries. As a lady, I've been told to always express my feelings and not bottle up things to myself, but I see it as a means of inviting unnecessary attention into one's life.

I go through tough times without putting my burdens on another person's shoulders, which I think is the right thing to do. But some said it wasn't a good way to live, and funny enough, my best friend fought with me over this issue yesterday.

She told me she noticed I'd been quiet recently, not sharing things with her as usual. I told her I was minding my business and facing my fears squarely without involving anyone to tamper with my mental health. This got her angry, and till now I'm still pacifying her.

My mom once said something like that too; she advised me to always open up and speak my mind whenever I'm troubled, but I see it as burdening people with my life affairs. This part of my way of life bothers me sometimes because I've seen people correct me about it, and since one or two people can point out to me that it isn't so good, I have to check myself and look for a way to loosen up a bit.

While doing so, I still keep the gap between unnecessary comments and advice closed tightly for my peace of mind and mental health.

Another thing that bothers me about my way of life is my social life. I am a zero-over-zero person when it comes to being social. I don't know why, but I just don't love that way of life at all. A friend was telling me yesterday to always take pictures, but I know it's not something I will do because I'm not used to it.

Taking pictures at times looks like stress to me, although I was once battling with my confidence on camera, but not anymore. I still find it difficult. My dad is my number one social life adviser; he always wants me to flaunt myself and be socially active, but that's a no for me.

Going out except for work or school takes a lot of persuasion. My sister and my friend are always on my neck. It's like there is something out there I'm afraid of that I don't know about; I just don't like being social of any kind. Recently, I tried to be active on my social media handles, but I got tired in the middle of it and just switched back to my original self.

One last thing that bothers me about my way of life is my dress. This sounds hilarious, though, because my being carefree contributed to this, I guess. My father loves a lady who is a fashionista, dressing like a model and dripping from head to toe, but I'm the wrong candidate for that.

Sometimes, when I'm home and I want to go out with my dad, he won't allow me to go with him until I apply a little bit of makeup. He always complains about me being an old-school lady in the 21st century. I believe in dressing decently, as that was how I was brought up. I dress nice, wearing clothes that are in vogue, but I don't do that excessively.

Moderation is my motto; whatever one is going to wear or do, let it be moderate. I do talk when I see ladies dress shabbily or wear too-revealing clothes, so I know what people would say about me too if I wore something like this. I believe in the saying "dress the way you want to be addressed.".

Sometimes, I dress the way it pleases me, and my parents complain that I dress like a teenager. I have a very small stature, which makes it difficult for people to guess my actual age, so I love dressing like that to give them the suspense they had to work on trying to figure out my age. My dressing bothers me at times because, as I grow, I need to improve more and work according to my present level to avoid some effects later in the future.

Thanks for your time, and your comments will be appreciated.