[ENG/ESP] My problem with the Inferiority complex and the Impostor syndrome
Considero que todos hemos pasado por una o varias situaciones en las que por alguna razón nos comparamos con otros por sus logros, recursos, estilo de vida, etc. También pasar por momentos en los que no confiamos en nosotros mismos ni en las cosas que hacemos, vemos todo insuficiente o que simplemente no está bien. Para algunos es algo pasajero, cosa de momento que sueltan una vez escuchan palabras de aliento o un impulso en su autoestima, pero esto es algo que es recurrente en mí últimamente.
I believe that we have all gone through one or several situations in which for some reason we compare ourselves with others for their achievements, resources, lifestyle, etc. We also go through moments in which we do not trust ourselves or the things we do, we see everything as insufficient or simply not right. For some it is a passing thing, a momentary thing that they let go once they hear words of encouragement or a boost in their self-esteem, but this is something that is recurrent in me lately.
Honestly I don't usually communicate what I feel (even though it is what I always suggest to people) although sometimes I do it is with close friends, but this is already something that was weighing me down and now that I feel better about it I thought I would write to maybe finish draining enough of the burden. I have had the constant feeling that no matter how hard I try I never advance as I would like to, as I need to, lately I fall a lot in comparing the achievements of others with mine, even comparing how others move to get far with their passions and talents and even when I know in theory that this is not right and that I am wrong in many things, in many occasions I can't avoid the discomfort. In a desperate attempt I end up grasping for personal satisfaction by doing things that work for me to escape that complex without completely overcoming it, be it doing things at home, helping others and even being here at HIVE. When making a publication that I genuinely want to do I have filled myself with expectations of getting approval just to feel better and not have reasons to step on myself, I turn my hope to it so that it turns out well, not so much for the rewards but in the approval in representation of Likes, seeing that there is enough reach I manage to diminish that heavy feeling of the complex but if instead it has no reach I have come to reinforce more the complex and I end up doubting my own capabilities. And yes, I am aware that there are many factors that can define why these things happen on this platform and that I can simply study more to learn where I need to correct, and even knowing that I am filled with frustration and the frustration is purely from feeling the way I feel and it becomes a cycle because then I get frustrated because I compare myself to those who don't let these things stop them.
Sinceramente no suelo comunicar lo que siento (a pesar de que es lo que siempre le sugiero a la gente) aunque en ocasiones lo hago es con amigos cercanos, pero ya esto es algo que me estaba pesando mucho y ahora que me siento mejor de ello pensé en escribir para tal vez terminar de drenar lo suficiente de la carga. He tenido la constante sensación de que no importa lo mucho que me esfuerce nunca avanzo como desearía, como necesito, últimamente caigo mucho en comparar los logros de otros con los míos, incluso en comparar como otros se mueven para llegar lejos con sus pasiones y talentos y aun cuando sé en teoría de que eso no está bien y que estoy equivocado en muchas cosas, en muchas ocasiones no logro evadir el malestar. En un desesperado intento me termino aferrando de conseguir satisfacción personal al hacer cosas que me resulten bien para escapar de ese complejo sin superarlo del todo, sea haciendo cosas en casa, ayudando a otros e incluso estando acá en HIVE. Al hacer una publicación que genuinamente deseo hacer me he llenado de expectativas de conseguir aprobación solo para sentirme mejor y no tener razones para pisarme a mí mismo, vuelco mi esperanza a ello para que resulte bien, no tanto por las recompensas sino en la aprobación en representación de Likes, al ver que hay suficiente alcance logro disminuir esa sensación pesada del complejo pero sí en cambio no tiene alcance se me ha llegado reforzar más el complejo y termino dudando de mis propias capacidades. Y sí, estoy consciente que hay muchos factores que pueden definir por qué pasan esas cosas en esta plataforma y que puedo simplemente estudiar más para aprender donde debo corregir, y aun sabiendo eso me lleno de frustración y la frustración es netamente por sentirme como me siento y se vuelve un ciclo porque entonces me frustro porque me comparo con los que no dejan que esas cosas los detengan.
Sometimes it has happened to me that when I receive that approval that I seek to cover the complex then I doubt more of my capabilities and I assume it as luck, I do not give myself the congratulations I deserve or the pride for a good job done but I criticize it and minimize the value of what I did myself. These are too self-destructive emotions that are not bringing me anything but are taking me further away from my goal in the process of stop suffering because I do not reach the goal (irony). That is where the impostor comes in, where I consider that I am not really doing things right and that no matter how hard I try they are not really right. It is a constant struggle because I have to silence those thoughts and bring the thoughts in which I do recognize my work, accept that it is good or that although it can be better it is not the same as it is bad. Many times it works for me to do these strategies but when it doesn't work for me then I have to get away from it all and rest my mind, laugh, share with other people or something.
En ocasiones me ha pasado que cuando recibo esa aprobación que busco para tapar el complejo entonces dudo más de mis capacidades y lo asumo como suerte, no me doy la felicitación que merezco o el orgullo por un buen trabajo realizado sino que lo critico y minimizo el valor de lo que yo mismo hice. Son emociones demasiado autodestructivas que no me están aportando nada sino que me están alejando más de mi meta en el proceso de dejar de sufrir porque no llego a la meta (ironía). Es ahí entra el impostor, donde considero que no hago en realidad las cosas bien y que por más que lo intente no están realmente bien. Es una constante lucha porque debo callar esos pensamientos y traer los pensamientos en los que si reconozco mi trabajo, aceptar que está bien o que aunque puede ser mejor no es igual a que esté mal. Muchas veces me resulta el hacer estas estrategias pero cuando no me funciona entonces debo alejarme de todo y descansar la mente, reír, compartir con otras personas o algo.
But you know? Another thing that also causes me great discomfort is when I really know how I feel, why I feel the way I feel and I can give an answer to it and still I do not end up relaxing, maybe I am also touching an area of perfectionism and / or little patience with myself, whatever it is frustrates me a lot and causes demotivation and if there is something I do not want to happen is to demotivate me to be here. Being in HIVE has helped me to discover that I like to write and express what I like and what I think, the bad thing is that my own issues of what I mentioned before prevent me from enjoying the experience 100% sometimes.
¿Pero saben? Otra de las cosas que también me causa una gran molestia es cuando en realidad sé cómo me siento, el por qué me siento como me siento y puedo dar una respuesta ante ello y aun así no termino de relajarme, tal vez ando también tocando un área de perfeccionismo y/o de poca paciencia conmigo mismo, sea como sea frustra muchísimo y provoca desmotivación y si hay algo que no deseo que pase es desmotivarme de estar acá. Estar en HIVE me ha ayudado a descubrir que me gusta escribir y expresar lo que me gusta y lo que pienso, lo malo es que mis propios asuntos de lo que mencione antes me evitan disfrutar en ocasiones la experiencia al 100%.
In my own meditations I have discovered many things, regarding the inferiority complex and the comparison with others I have realized the obvious, it is ABSURD to do so, as much as we want to do what others do, get to where they got, have what they have with effort, we can never be like anyone because each person is different in every way, we live different situations and circumstances, different lives and everyone has talents and qualities that help them or keep them away from certain things. The only person with whom we can compare ourselves is ourselves, with the person we were yesterday, a month ago, a year ago and that is where we can really analyze if we have changed and improved, to make the study of what we want and what we need to get there. With respect to the impostor syndrome is more complicated but I think it is more associated to love ourselves properly, we are very used to be our own executioners (I am an expert in being it with me) and it is time to make the effort to give a vacation to that being and accept our work and value our achievements.
En mis propias meditaciones he descubierto muchas cosas, con respecto al complejo de inferioridad y el compararse con otros me he dado cuenta de lo obvio, es ABSURDO hacerlo, por mucho que queramos hacer lo que otros hacen, llegar a donde llegaron, tener lo que poseen con esfuerzo, nunca podremos ser como nadie porque cada persona es diferente en todo sentido, se viven situaciones y circunstancias diferentes, vidas diferentes y cada quien tiene talentos y cualidades que les ayudan o les alejan de ciertas cosas. Con la única persona con la que nos podemos comparar es con nosotros mismos, con la persona que fuimos ayer, hace un mes, hace un año y es ahí donde podemos en verdad analizar si hemos cambiado y mejorado, de hacer el estudio de que queremos y que necesitamos para llegar a ello. Con respecto al síndrome del impostor es más complicado pero creo que está más asociado a querernos apropiadamente, estamos muy acostumbrados a ser nuestros propios verdugos (yo soy experto en serlo conmigo) y es hora de hacer el esfuerzo de darle vacaciones a ese ser y aceptar nuestro trabajo y valorar nuestros logros.
That last one is what I tell myself lately to get away from the emotions that invade me, sometimes I succeed but sometimes as I said before I have to get away from everything to relax a little first, it is a constant struggle but it is one that I want to win and I want to be proud of at the end, it is exhausting really exhausting to feel the demotivation because of all that and feel that there is time that is being wasted. I want to continue here and learn a lot, I feel that this platform is teaching me many things that surely in the future I can use or serve as a bridge for many more things, I do not know, I just know that while that is happening I must continue to face my demons and not let the complex or the syndrome take everything from me.
Eso último es lo que últimamente me digo para apartar las emociones que me invaden, a veces me resulta pero en otras como dije antes debo alejarme de todo para relajarme un poco primero, es una lucha constante pero es una que quiero ganar y de la que quiero estar orgulloso al final, es agotador realmente agotador sentir la desmotivación debido a todo eso y sentir que hay tiempo que se está perdiendo. Quiero seguir acá y aprender mucho, siento que esta plataforma me está enseñando muchas cosas que de seguro en el futuro podré usar o servirá de puente para muchas cosas más, no lo sé, solo sé que mientras eso va pasando debo seguir enfrentando a mis demonios y no permitir que ni el complejo ni el síndrome tomen todo de mí.
Espero todos se encuentren bien.
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Excelente catarsis. Es un trabajo interno lento pero si tienes estrategias para hacerlo te irá muy bien.
Saludos
Saludos! Si, es un trabajo largo y fuerte, es como ir contracorriente pero estoy consciente que es una lucha que se puede ganar, solo debo esforzarme mucho. Muchas gracias por leerme, de verdad que si. Un abrazo y espero pase una excelente noche.
Muchos éxitos, puedes lograrlo.
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