I always say that, "Life isn't fair," because it was meant to be like that, it will never be fair for anyone. I am in my fifties and that's what I have seen and learned so far, I know the harsh truth of our society. Still, there are some people who wouldn't believe it because they still believe in people. To be honest, it has always bothered me more than losing which is that it was never meant to be fair.

I have taken part in different contests on both online and offline. I had expectations of winning because I knew about my performance and how much hard work I have done for it. Also, I knew that there will be always some people who are more skilled or more creative than me. So, losing to someone better than me it has never brothered me. Instead I appreciate that their good work is being recognized. But there have been times when it was unfair because the winner did not perform their best. I have noticed that they always choose someone who happened to be a close friend or a family member of the judge. So, there's no chances for me to win. When it happens my excitement disappears. I think that everyone else was only there to fill the empty spaces and the winners were already fixed.

I am not disappointed that I am missing out on a prize. I am disappointed to see talented people slowly stop trying. There are some participants who didn't clearly say it out loud but they have personally talked with me, and the same thing I have heard others saying which was, "Why should I join again? We already know who will win." I know the words came out of pain and it stayed with me because it's showing how unfair decisions can destroy people's motivation.

As a father I think about this often. One day, my daughters will grow up and they will join school competitions or sports events. I want them to believe that if they work hard and do their best, they will have a real chance. But I don't think the world will treat them fairly but I don't want them to grow up thinking that success depends more on who you know than on what you can do. I hope to give them courage to keep going forward instead of thinking about the results. I don't need them to win any prizes to prove their worth, I think if they are talented enough they will be appreciated anyway and they don't require any prizes for that.

However, nepotism should be criminalised at some points, but it actually depends on where it happens. If it's happening in a public jobs or for government positions then there should be strict rules, moreover there should be serious consequences. So, that people avoid doing such unfairness. Imagine a boy from middle class family he completed his studies from a well known university yet he was unable to find a job. He is the only breadwinner of the family and there's no other way for him to earn. Then how would he feed his family? How will they survive? Just because the companies decided to hire the ones they have connection with now people who are highly educated they are suffering. Their certificate holds no value anymore. So, I don't think anyone should be allowed to abuse their position for personal gain. First of all, I don't understand why would anyone accept such benefits? I think they know about their low capabilities that's why they need to pull the strings.

If I think about it personally then I do understand that people want to help their family members. I would do the same for my wife and my children. I would try my best in every way I can. But I would only try to support them and not give unfair advantage. I can teach my family members or try to guide them to become more capable. I can also pull the strings to hire someone who can teach them perfectly. That's all I can do for them. But I will never teach them that connections are more important than honesty. I will never use my powers to bring everything to their feet. I want them to gain everything with their hard work and not depend on the benefits completely. Then they could truly understand the value of the position they are holding onto. If they get everything easily they won't learn to value the position or appreciate the people trying hard for it.

So, if nepotism is beyond limits and causing harms to others then it should be called out. People who deserves the position only they should hold onto it not the one we want to see winning. We should keep personal and professional life separate from each other. Winning should feel like an achievement not a favor. Even if I have higher reaches at some places I would want to play a a fair competition. Also, we should keep this in mind that a fair competition can not guarantee that every talented person will win, as there can be only one winner so it doesn't mean others were not worthy enough to be qualified. Someone has to lose for others to win. But a fair competition will guarantee that everyone has the same chance. That is the kind of fairness I hope everyone starts to practice.

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