Fiction: The boy and the witch

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The boy and the witch

A long time ago there was a boy named Jhon who lived on the streets of New York, he had no family, he was in an orphanage and escaped from that place, he loved freedom like crazy.

It was the month of January and there was one of those snowfalls that froze even the asphalt, he lived among the garbage containers, he covered himself from the cold with cardboard, plastic and blankets given to him by those who already knew him from walking the streets or because he recycled garbage.

One night the cold did not let him sleep, he got up and made a fire to generate heat, he was already numb from the cold; When he looked up at the sky, he saw a burst of bright light that illuminated everything, he rubbed his eyes to confirm that he could see well, he thought of aliens and his heart stopped from fright, he considered the possibility of running, but he also thought that they would see him more easily, he crouched between the boxes and with astonishment he saw that the light landed in front of him, in a dead end.

His eyes were two huge bulbs of so much amazement, it was a beautiful woman, who came out of there, with a very elegant dress, loose hair and her angelic face, Jhon did not breathe, not to be seen, but surprisingly the woman spoke to him.
“Get out of there, I won't hurt you”.
He didn't dare move a muscle.
“Are you so frozen that you don't move, are you mute?”
“No, but I'm really surprised”.
“From what?”
“Well, miss, you arrived wrapped in a light. How do you want me to be?”
“Ah! It's that... it's not a light, it's my broom”.
“Oh, my God, are you a witch?”
“Sssssh, don't say it so loud, you'll have to keep that secret”.
“Why?”
“Because people, the world is afraid of people like me”.
“But how come you can fly on that thing?”
“Don't ask so many questions”.
“Jhon, obeying the beautiful woman, kept silent, she took off a beautiful jacket she was wearing and handed it to him”.
“Jhon, try to sleep, the cold won't affect you, I assure you; don't wait up”.
“Hey, how do you know my name?”
“Ha, ha, ha, ha; I'm a witch, little one”.

Saying this, with a resounding laughter Jhon watched her walk away through the mist of the night, he looked at her until she was lost among the clouds, he put on his jacket and incredibly the cold was not felt, he went to sleep, but with the worry of waking up when she came back, he had to ask her many things, nobody would believe that story.

He dreamt that the light reappeared in the darkness and came straight towards him, he woke up frightened and the sunlight was what dazzled him. He woke up frustrated, he could not forgive himself for falling asleep. I couldn't see the witch back, he said to himself and ran to the alley where he landed, but found no trace of her.

He thought about telling Mr. Goncalves, the owner of the bakery who always gave him breakfast in exchange for cleaning the front of the store, but he quickly desisted, for he had no proof of what had happened except the jacket he was still wearing, the morning wind was icy.
“Good morning, Mr. Goncalves”.
“Hello, John. How are you?”
“Fine, I almost froze last night, but an angel saved me”.
“How was that?”
“Well, nothing, she gave me this jacket”.
“Hey, it's a great jacket and almost your size, watch out John and you'll be getting in trouble, won't you?”
“I swear I'm not, I really got it as a gift”.
“Well, enough talk, have your breakfast and get to work”.
“Yes, sir”.

He had a quiet and thoughtful breakfast, he wanted to tell someone what happened, it was real, he had the jacket on him, it was true, but everyone would think he was crazy for saying that a woman flew in on a broom and gave it to him, besides she asked him to keep it a secret, he couldn't tell on her.

“What a fool I am I didn't ask her name, I will wait for her tonight, I must know more about her”, he said to himself.
“Hey, Jhon, you're taking the cleaning", the owner of the bakery called his attention, he woke up and finished his work.

At midnight he could not sleep, he washed his face with cold water, almost frozen and burned cardboard to keep warm, suddenly he felt the burst of light again, it was very fast, but he already knew who she was and saw her coming out of the alley, she smiled at him and greeted him from afar raising a hand, he went to meet her.
“Hello Jhon”.
“Hi, what's your name?”
“Witch”.
“I'm serious, you must have a name, right?”
“Beatrice”.
“Can I see your broom?”
“Sure, come on, I'll show it to you”.

Incredibly it was such a normal broom, but she wouldn't let him touch it.
“Hey, don't try to touch her, between me and her there is a connection and no one else can touch her or she will stop obeying me, understand?”
“Yes, Beatrice, why is the world afraid of you?”
“Because we are very intelligent, but above all we are free, the world, little John, desires, claims freedom, but doesn't know how to live in it, freedom has many implications and few want to know about them, they are very superficial”.

Jhon was taciturn with that answer, she noticed it and was more pragmatic.
“Look, you were in an orphanage, you had everything, a roof, food, human warmth, but you had no freedom, that's why you fled towards the freedom you love and that you now have, but it carries within itself these implications that surround you”.
“Mmmm, now I understand....”

Beatrice left him talking to himself and pondering his words. Unnoticed by John, she walked away, broom in hand. Around the corner he was mounted and immediately the light came on in blinding glares. It is a peculiarity of these strange vehicles, they only glow when the witches (others call them fairies) ride them up or down and their light is seen only by those they wish to show themselves to teach them a lesson.


Sources of the cover image Source 1 Source 2 Source 3 edited by Rincón Poético.

Text authored by:
Camilo Torres
D.R.A
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This is an interesting story, @rinconpoetico7 (and Camilo Torres). It's a unique take on the mythology of witches, suggesting that they come to teach a lesson. Is the lesson that he should appreciate his freedom, though he is homeless and cold?

There are some very nice touches in this story. The dialogue is nicely done!

We do have some recommendations for this writer. The first one is that it is important to learn the structure of sentences. Here's a good resource. In this story, there are many separate sentences connected by commas, instead of periods. For example, the very first sentence in the story is actually four complete sentences.

A long time ago there was a boy named Jhon who lived on the streets of New York, he had no family, he was in an orphanage and escaped from that place, he loved freedom like crazy.

They can be separated by periods, or by a semi-colon, or connected by a word such as "and," "but," or "because." For example:

A long time ago there was a boy named Jhon who lived on the streets of New York. He had no family. He was in an orphanage and escaped from that place, because he loved freedom like crazy.

Another tip is to read through the story carefully before publishing to find inconsistencies and errors. For example, the name of the main character switches between "Jhon" and "John." Which one is correct? And there is one line that is not something the character says, but it is written in quotes:

“Jhon, obeying the beautiful woman, kept silent, she took off a beautiful jacket she was wearing and handed it to him”.

We hope this feedback is helpful!

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Thanks for the tips, they are very helpful to improve writing. I apologize for the mistakes. I will take a closer look.
Good day.

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