ecoTrain Question Of The Week #14: What is the biggest question or mystery in your life that until now you haven't had the answer to?

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(Edited)

There really are so many things in life that are strange or difficult for me to understand that I would need to divide this publication into several parts, but I will try to synthesize it in the best possible way.




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Years ago my family and I lived the experience of living with an uncle who had paranoid schizophrenia problems, the experiences are very strong, one on the part of Him who had to live that stormy disease that causes them to see hallucinations, they despair, they scream, they cry, they live anxiously and in the moments when their brain chemicals are stable this allows them to think and reason, in the case of my uncle he became sad and wondered crying Why is this happening to me if I am not bad? And that saddened me even more. I couldn't give him that answer since I asked myself that question and I STILL DON'T KNOW.

Grow up with Mom and Dad! This is something that NEVER happened, and I have asked myself: What would my life have been like if I had been raised with Mama and Papa? What significant changes would exist in my life?

My parents separated when I was two years old and my memories are null, as adults they made that decision but as many couples do not think about the future consequences that impact the lives of children growing up in a dysfunctional home, THEY ARE MANY, especially in the emotional part; From here arises until the bullying of Father's Day for mentioning something very basic and not delving into this ocean of sensations, All with their parents and mine never was, the advice of a father in adolescence is essential for a woman and He never He was there. For this and millions of other things I have always asked myself this question.

What would my life be like if I were married to my boyfriend at 18?

Yes! Sometimes I ask myself this, not because I miss him or even love him, just because of the fact that after the age of 21 and until two years ago I began to suffer from blood flow problems that affected my health significantly to such a level that for medical reasons I had to have a Hysterectomy and I have no children and I will not be able to have them either. Well summed up! It is definitely the only reason why I wonder since I think that possibly between my 18 and 21 years I could have gotten pregnant. But who knows? I do not know!.

The million questions come after having undergone that surgery, because every woman wants to have children and live the experience of being a mother and I am not the exception, I also wanted to have a version of me in male or female replica and I say to myself:

How is a pregnancy? That thing about the kicks and the beat of your heart in an echo?
What was my son like? What was Mama's princess like?
How does it feel to give birth to a child? How does it feel to breastfeed a child?
What a beautiful feeling is that of coming home exhausted from work and your son saying I LOVE YOU MOM and taking everything away from you?
In short, there are so many things that are triggered from there that I will never know even before I die but I thank God infinitely for allowing me to live.

Yes! Many times when we ask many questions it seems that we deny many things or feel unhappy about the life we ​​have lived, personally I am very grateful to God for allowing me to live, with all the positive and negative things that have happened to my life already that this has allowed me to form what I am today.

To finish the answer to this question I want to share with you some of what I use to give me encouragement day by day since in life we ​​receive the good and the bad, it depends on our attitude and aptitude to improve the perspective to keep ourselves emotionally balanced:

"There are gray days and days of multiple colors."
“Flowers are beautiful, but they have thorns. Is that why they stop being beautiful? Not!"
“When you ride a roller coaster you enjoy the curves, the climbs and the descents, this is life, you have to appreciate when we are good (above), when we are bad (below) and even those sudden breaking points that surprise us like the Roller Coaster Curves”

Thank you very much for reading, successes and blessings.



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6 comments
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thank you for taking part! a very special answer, with two great questions.. but i get the feeling you are in a better place now! ;-)

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Thanks to you for having these initiatives ... Indeed I am better! Mr. @ eco-alex when we are grateful to God All things work together for good, thank you very much for stopping by.

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This post has been submitted to the OCD community curation initiative.. supporting great posts in the ecoTrain community! Congrats and keep posting great content!

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Thank you very much, it is important to me ... Wait

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What would have happened if you got married to your boyfriend at 18 ?

Well, things in your life right now would not be much different.

You may have experienced a miscarriage, but you would not have experienced a live birth.
You see, your hysterectomy, and what caused it was your tragic past of being abandoned by your parents and then not having anyone to show you strong stable love. This ends with you shutting down energy centers in your body, and that continued through your hysterectomy. You never had the parts needed to create a child working within you.

It is very sad. I empathize with your sadness.
Many women in the near future will be unable to bear children.
Being unaligned with the energies needed to keep a healthy body makes it so you cannot reproduce.
It will be like cancer has been over the past decade.
Suddenly lots more women are barren.

Why is this happening to me if I am not bad?

This is a hard one to explain.
You could say that they are very bad to themselves.
But this is only half true.

To keep a human body, you have to have a very specific energetic focus.
If that focus wanders, either because of chemical imbalance or strong emotions, then you lose control over your body.

Too bad your uncle was not born to an eastern religion where he could have learned meditation and Qi practices. Because these kinds of episodes are normal for people who really get out there in spirituality.
Waking dreams.
But you have to have the firm grip of your mind and reality to live in the two worlds simultaneously.

Your uncle probably had some bad experiences growing up that he never worked out.
His parents probably stayed together so that he was in a constant abusive situation.
Or maybe he was raised by an unknown, almost stranger... relative as you were.
He had these strong issues that needed to be brought up and worked through, and thus the brain brought them up in a way that was sure to get his attention - hallucinations.

I can't tell you specifically what was his triggers,
but i can tell you that all the people i know who have healed this have gone back and healed their childhood.

Be well

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Thank you very much for your time in writing an answer from your approach to these situations ... I only thank God for the good and the bad that happens in my life and I pray every day for better health. SUCCESSES AND BLESSINGS TO YOUR LIFE.

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