Getting A Good Mentor [Part 2/2]: The "How To"

A few days back, we took a look at the first part of this series on mentorship. We considered the benefits of getting a good mentor and what one stands to gain when they have a good mentor. Here, we shall conclude the series with the process of getting a good mentor - that is the "how to." The truth is that without knowing the process involved in a thing, it may become like an almost impossible task. This episode will also cover the necessary attitudes that a mentee needs to possess in order to get a good mentor.

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1. Be humble and teachable

One of the major characters you should have as someone that wants to learn from a mentor is humility and teachability. It is possible that you may be older than your mentor or may even occupy a better social status or from a more preferred background, but it should not influence your relationship with him. Remember that you are there to learn, not to rub shoulders with him. More so, he has something that you want and that is what you should be focused on. The truth is, if you allow pride to take over you, your ability to learn will be beclouded and if your mentor notices the trace of pride in you, he may lose interest in you.

You will agree with me that no one wants to be associated with or mentor someone with an overinflated ego or someone that has blown himself beyond proportion, so be humble. There is nothing to gain by being proud, rather you stand the chance of losing the one that you have. But there is everything to gain when you are humble. Humility comes with being teachable. This brought to remembrance a verse from the Holy Book which expressly talks about the relationship between humility and being able to be taught, and I quote;

The meek (humble) will He teach...

2. Do not focus on your mentor's flaws

Every human definitely has their own different flaws or shortcomings but you have to understand that you are not there to become a character police but to learn something. He may not agree with your school of thought, he may not also have the same view of life as you, but all that will not matter as long as the main aim of learning is achieved. You will agree with me that if you want to have a 100% in a human before you get a mentor, then you will have none. If you focus on their character, you may become discouraged and you may end up not learning anything.

It is worthy to note that you, on your own capacity, are not perfect, so it will be unwise to expect perfection from someone else. That they have more knowledge than you in a particular field does not mean that they are perfect beings. The earlier you understand this, the less you expect from them and the less likely it will be for you to be discouraged. Instead of focusing on their flaws and end up being disappointed in them, why not focus on the areas of their strengths - the area that actually attracted you in the first place?

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3. Look for some that is going to the same direction as you are.

As a student pilot for example, if your mentor is an oceanographer or a deep ocean diver, how will you gain maximally from their mentorship? To make the most out of mentorship, it is better that you look for someone that has already gone far in the particular route that you are going. If you follow someone that is going in an opposite direction to the place you are going to, you may end up losing your place and missing your destination. One thing you have to bear in mind is that everyone, no matter how talented they are, cannot be your mentor.

Your mentor should be able to help you grow and develop on yourself and if they are not doing that, then the aim is already being defeated and you need to look out for someone else. The mentor-mentee relationship will be easier and better if both of you have singleness of purpose or if both of your are enroute to the same destination. It is when you stand on the shoulders of someone that has gone ahead of where you are that you can see further, but the person must, of a necessity, be enroute in the same direction as you.

Thanks for reading