The Art Of Leading By Listening

More often than not, when we picture who a leader is, our mind will just go to the person who stands at the front of the room and speaks with a loud and authoritative voice. We often think of leaders as people who have all the answers, give orders, and dominate the conversation. Society has also made it to look like leaders are supposed to be the loudest person in the room. However, what a lot of people have failed to understand is that true leadership is not about being loud, neither is it about talking, rather it is about listening. You will be surprised how the quietest person in the room might hold the most power, commands the most respect, and even makes the smartest decisions.

I have come to understand that when a leader talks too much, they often tend to create a very dangerous environment. The first thing that happens is that they will stop learning. When you are constantly talking, you are simply repeating what you already know without adding new things to it. The next thing that happens is that the loudness of the leader will silence the voice of the teammates. They may even begin to think that they do not matter or that their opinions do not count. When this happens, they may begin to withdraw their support from the leader.

You have to understand that listening has a way of building respect. You do not earn respect by demanding for it or by shouting. When you sit down with your teammates and listen to them attentively and critically, what you are doing is sending a very strong message to them that their thoughts matter, and that their perspective is valuable. This will make them to feel respected, and they will also respect you in return. You see, you have earned respect without shouting and without demanding for it, but by listening. Listening also creates a deeper sense of value, appreciation, and sense of belonging. When someone listens to you with undivided attention, you will know that they value what you are saying. As a leader, you may not command followership of your teammates because of your vision, but because they feel heard and understood.

When you listen, you gain the full picture before you know how to act. Imagine walking into a room filled with people and start talking without even knowing what they are discussing. It is when you listen that you will even know what to say. There are some answers that you can pick simply by listening carefully and attentively. The truth is that you cannot know everything, and there are things that even your subordinates and teammates may know that you do not. So you have to learn how to listen. Listening does not make you weak, neither does it take away your position as a leader, rather it makes you a better leader that people will be willing to work together with.

As a leader in any capacity, you need to practice a leadership that thrives on listening. It is not about being loud, but about producing the required results. Leading by listening is a skill that you can develop with the small changes you make daily. Firstly, try to listen more than you speak. Secondly, instead of making statements that end with an order, make it an open-ended question, where everyone can contribute. For example; instead of saying "this is what we must do," you can say "how do we get this done to get the best result?" This will make others to give their own inputs while you listen. Then thirdly, always wait a few seconds before you respond to someone. Listen completely to what people say, process it well, and understand it before you respond.

Leading by listening does not mean being passive, but it means being secure. It shows that you do not have to prove that you are the leader or feed your ego by being loud. I have come to realise that when you spend extensive time listening to people as they speak, when you start to speak your own, they will also listen to what you have to say. That means you are already commanding influence without demanding for it.

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