Overcoming the Loss of A Loved One

In our life, there will be moments where we will face tough situations. Situations that just come to us out of no where during the time when we least expected it and disturb the peace we have but through facing and overcoming them, it helps us to learn and grow as a person as we try to cope with those adversities. On this post, I will tell you about the toughest situation that I faced so far in my life which is the death of my father and how I was able to recover from it along with the lessons that I learned from this experience.

I lost my father on 2008 when he was at work. He was a police officer but because he has a heart problem, he was transferred to security. The last time we saw him was was when he was leaving for work and the next time we saw him was when he was already in the coffin. Apparently, a vein in his brain exploded as a complication from a cardiac arrest.

^{One of the few remaining pictures I have with my father and sister.}

Learning of what happened, my world seems to fall apart. I was not a father's boy but I have a great respect for him as we got to spend more of our time with him rather than my mother who was working in Saudi as a OFW during that time. He teaches me many things from different sports to fishing and even how to cook basic dishes. At some point he even started to teach me how to use a gun not because he wants me to have the same profession but so that I can protect myself and the responsibility that comes with pulling the trigger. He was my role model and what I believed a man should aspire to be.

Adding salt to the wound, my mother who was working on Saudi during that time was not able to go home because of contract obligations so she was not able to take her final look on my father as we proceeded with the burial. I can vividly remember the 21 guns salute that was dedicated to my father, something that I saw on Greenday's music video of Wake Me Up When September Ends but would never thought I would see personally. Despite this, I still try to hold my tears to the last moment to be the support that my sister has needed.

After 4 months my mother was finally able to return home but since we've lost one of our family provider, we've also faced financial difficulties as my sister was also going to high school together with me which is already 3^rd year during that time so from the private school that I was studying, I was transferred to a public school. This time, I was also being separated with my classmates that I've been with for 3 years but even after this, my mom still needs to save money for when I get to college so 2 just only 2 months after she return, she goes back again to Saudi. Me and my sister were left alone with some relatives and neighbors taking a look at us from time to time.

With things happening one after another, I finally reached a point that I could just not care anymore as if there was a void inside of me that cannot be filled. Trying to to distract myself from this this void, I have resorted on focusing my attention on playing games, wasting the money that my mom was working hard overseas just to send us to school. Soon, I came to the point that I will skip classes, resulting for my grades to continue to drop to the point that I almost fail.

However, 2 months before the graduation, the support that I received from my mom suddenly stopped and our contact with her suddenly cease. At first, we ignore it, thinking that she were just busy at work as it also happens before but she remains unable to contact for the following weeks. A month after, we finally hear from her and learn that she was staying on the Philippine Embassy after she escapade from here employer that is not only abusing her but also stops paying her and takes her phone to avoid calling the authority.

That's when I realized that I almost lost another important person once again without even knowing it but here I am, only caring for myself and my own pain even though I was not the only one going through a hard time. Maybe, during that time I was in self- denial, thinking that everything that happened was nothing but a dream but the thing that happened to my mom becomes the wake- up call that I need to accept the reality. Finally coming to my senses, I begin to correct my way and although there is barely anything much I can do since it was less than a month till graduation, I was able to barely pass. Luckily, my mom was able to arrive home before the graduation and was able to accompany me to the stage.

If there is something that you can maybe learn from this is that even though we are feeling the pain of losing someone that we loved, we should not use this as an excuse to lost interest in life. Surely, moving on is hard and can take a very long time to process but we should not forget the other people that we love that still live together with us despite sharing the same lost.

Thank you for reading my post and see you on the next one!