Let’s Meet People Where They Are

I’m one of many people who spend a lot of time alone. Alone in the sense that there aren’t other people physically in my space. I consider when I socialize or chat with people virtually as being in the company of others.

Solitude

Most of the time the arrangement works well for me. I can be in my own company, my own space yet still have contact if I choose to. In many ways, the virtual aspect of contact with others gives me a greater level of control over my time.

The arrangement is solitude. It’s being alone but comfortable in doing so. There is a very small group of people in my life that it’s important to me to have regular contact. An even smaller number it’s important for me to touch base with daily, when possible, even if only for a few minutes.

I’m often left bemused when people confuse the difference between solitude and loneliness. It usually shows itself with an all too common, and somewhat condescending comment which goes something like, “Oh, I’m sorry, you must be so lonely”.

At one time comments like that would make me angry at the display of ignorance. Eventually I realized it was their own lack of understanding.

Loneliness

People who are alone and find no comfort in their solitude, are experiencing loneliness. For some, it’s a temporary situation. They soon connect wtih others and relieve the loneliness.

For others it can becomes a serious mental health issue. They deeply feel the sense of being disconnected from others and from life in general. The isolation can have a physical cause like an illness or disability. Some may have lost a partner through death and breakup and are still grieve the loss.

Others may be struggling with mental health issues. They are aware of the sense of loneliness and isolation. They often feel a sense of rejection or a lack of worthiness to be with others. Those are issues which need to be worked through. Sometimes with the help of a professional.

Let’s Meet People Where They Are

We can be kind, respectful and empathetic with a person struggling with loneliness.

Let’s not confuse the difference between solitude and loneliness.

Let’s also learn which place a person is in and respect where they are.

In a society where the emphasis is on couples, many are left unsure how to view a single person. Oddly enough, there are many people who are part of a couple and also struggle with loneliness. Being in the company of another is not always an absence of being lonely.

Let’s just meet people where they are. Let them reveal what they want of themself without making assumptions based on our worldview instead of theirs.

Shadowspub is a writer from Ontario, Canada. She writes on a variety of subjects as she pursues her passion for learning. She also writes on other platforms and enjoys creating books you use like journals, notebooks, coloring books etc.

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23 comments
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I learned one or two things from this. Thank you.
I sometimes confuse them, now it makes perfect sense. I always tell myself "I'm lonely" everytime, Truth is I'm not.

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So many people acquaint being alone with being lonely it's not surprising you make that mistake even when it doesn't match how you actually feel.

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There were times I just felt like being lonely. Sometimes I didn't know the reasons behind and all of a sudden I was kind of okay. There were those times I chose to feel hurt because I kind of liked the feeling of being lonely.

To be precise, some people love to be lonely because they found themselves comfortable.

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hey love to be lonely or alone because they feel comfortable?

I don't really think people need to have a reason why they are on their own if they feel okay with their own company. If they don't, then it's up to them to make changes.

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I LOVE being alone.
My Mom hates being alone and she gets very lonely.

I love the quiet. I can think. BUT I do love being around people too but in small dozes and with those I have become to care for so much.

The trick is to not forget to go out and meet new people too. If you only spend time with those closest to you you never meet someone you are meant to.

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That's what the internet is for ... can meet lots of people who are of like mind.

I know people who find themselves really hating spending time alone. Some are almost like they fear quiet and finding out what they feel or think. Some are just people who find their energy around people.

I usually have the house quiet. The cats have gotten used to that which has the interesting fun of watching them react to strange and unexpected sounds.

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Love what you have said there Shadows...

Let’s Meet People Where They Are

No matter what the issue or discussion or circumstance... so important for people to step back and away from projecting their own experiences and thoughts and instead listen, acknowledge, and respect the views of others in how they manage their own time and space.

!LUV !ALIVE !LADY

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I could not agree more. And one can be incredibly lonely in a crowd...

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So true! Lonely is definitely a state of mind which may or may not align with our actual state of physical being.

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I like your explanations as I've had people complain about my love of solitude. I remember my mother telling me, when I was in my teens, that she never knew anyone who loved their own company as much as I did. I enjoyed being alone, which was difficult to do with four siblings around.

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I came from a family of 5 children ... was often glad we lived in the country and there were woods and a stream just behind the house. Disappearing was pretty easy.

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It sounds like you had some grand childhood adventures.

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If you have family you will bé never alone, family best company.

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people can absolutely feel very alone even with family.

Family is not always the best company.

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Yes it Can bé true, try to have your own children, but the problèm in Europe 18 years old they go. Hère where I live you Can find family , I don't live in Europe.

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(Edited)

the base of the post is about people assuming those who are on their own are lonely which is patently untrue. Some are and some are content being on their own.

You're suggestion that having family is a cure for being alone adds to the assuming. Being alone doesn't need to be cured unless the person chooses to change their situation.

Some families are extremely toxic, they are a long way from being any sort of solution no matter where you live in the world.

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