The Emotional Bank Account: Building Trust and Strong Relationships

I recently started reading a chapter from a book that discusses being interdependent. This means being able to form and build relationships with other people. With the few hours of reading I have made in this chapter, I have been able to understand a little about what it is to be interdependent and how relationships with people can be seen. In this post you would be reading, I would be sharing my view and understanding of what I have read so far.

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The Emotional Bank Account

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See your relationship with people just like your financial bank account. As you put money into your bank account, you will be able to do more with it, but when it comes to relationships, it is not money we put in but our attitude and trust that we build. The way we show kindness and contribute to the other person constitutes a deposit to the emotional bank account.

As we keep on making deposits, we begin to build trust with the person. The person gets to trust us, respect us, and see us as important. Our value increases as the deposit we make continues. Simultaneously, our actions, including misunderstandings, unfulfilled promises and commitments, and our attitude, can also diminish the balance in the account. The value they place on us would begin to reduce. This occurrence can be referred to as making a withdrawal from the bank account.

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Major Deposits in the Bank Account

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In this book, I was able to study the major deposits that we can make in a bank account, which I will be sharing below:

The First:

Understanding the Individual is the first deposit that was mentioned. This involves taking time to understand the individual and knowing his interests and hobbies. Taking time to empathise with a friend in a difficult situation and also rendering help to the person can serve as a major deposit.

The Second:

The Little Things refers to the little acts of kindness we give to our neighbours. Those little things go a long way in building up a relationship and even do so much, especially in a romantic relationship.

The Third:

Keeping Commitments can be a major deposit or withdrawal. When we keep the promises we make very often, the person begins to build trust in our words and promises, but when we fail to keep them, it serves as a withdrawal, and the trust they have in us begins to diminish.

The Fourth:

Clarifying Expectations means when we have friends or in any form of relationship, there are some unclarified expectations they have from us, and this is why, at the beginning of any relationship, it is important that we know what is expected of us. Take, for instance, your job at work. There are some tasks your boss expects you to perform on certain basics, and if you don't get a clarified description of these expectations, there is bound to be misunderstanding.

Even in non-formal relationships like friendships or romantic relationships, there are expectations from these parties, and if these are not fulfilled, it causes a major withdrawal in the emotional bank account.

The Fifth:

Showing Personal Integrity is a little more than being honest. Being honest means your words are true to reality, and having integrity means your reality is true to your words. This means you keep your promises and expectations.

Integrity also entails being loyal to people, either in their presence or in their absence. When we don't gossip about people in their backs and in their fronts, we are a whole different person, which shows a lack of integrity.

The Sixth:

Apologising When Necessary means you apologise when you make a mistake with sincerity. This helps to keep your account from withdrawals, but when you make repeated mistakes, they turn into major withdrawals.

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In case you are wondering which book I read all these in, the name of the book is "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Convey. I have been reading this book for a long time now, and I hope to finish it before the end of this month.