Satire for Online Translator

Nothing works in times of crisis

the online translator works when he wants it to

the online translator does not translate my name

the online translator knows the basics

the online translator is a lousy ally

the online translator let me down in a moment

the online translator doesn't go anywhere

the online translator's days are numbered

the online translator has rarely fallen in love

the online translator never goes to the heart of the problem

the online translator made me wrong

the online translator a pet service.