Memento Mori || Painting From Old Closet

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All the lights go out and darkness covers me with its cloak
I squint and rub my eyes

The darkness is immense

Or is it my eyes that have given up?

I close them for a while
I let them rest

Another attempt
Still nothing


My heart speeds up, my breathing is shallow

I let my other senses take over

The darkness smells like dampness and remorse

It is cold and weighs on my shoulders

I am afraid to get up. I don't know where to go

I crawl in a random direction

Roots shackle my legs, my hands sink into the bog-like soft earth

I let out a loud breath

hear ringing in my ears, my head is spinning

Someone kisses my forehead

-Good night, My Love

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While looking through my old works from my high school days, I came across a couple of still lifes. I won't pretend to be proud of the result of my teenage efforts, but I nevertheless return to this work quite often.

The still lifes that Professor M. set up for us usually took up an entire wall of the studio. To the casual passer-by, our still lifes looked like an extreme case of syllogomy(pathological collecting).

Professor M encouraged us to choose unconventional frames - as a result, our works often looked more like abstractions than classic still lifes.

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From time to time, however, there was something in these crazy compositions that you couldn't take your eyes off of. A sad, shabby model of a skeleton caught my eye. I made a few drawings with this lonely, bony gentleman, and then decided to paint it as well.

There is no denying that the work is not finished - it lacks detail and the so called 'point of focus' (the place where the artist wants to hold the viewer's attention for the longest time). I didn't manage to finish the work in four hours(that's how long a single painting classes would last), and the following week the still life took on a completely different form, and my pale friend disappeared. I found it difficult to return to painting falling apart bicycles, broken jars and straw hats.

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The skeleton, even such a mediocre quality model that we used in class - adds an unwanted context to the painting. It is hard not to question its objectivity.

Even the plastic imitation of death makes us feel uncomfortable. And yet we look for death. We listen to podcasts about murderers, watch scary documentaries, read crime stories. Driven by curiosity - we fall into the cold embrace of hospitable death.

Hopefully not for good:)

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I wish you to have a great week!
Yours,
Strega Azure

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I used oil paints 'Van Gogh'

The artwork was created around 2004, if memory doesn't fail me:)

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Drawing & pictures are my authorship if not stated otherwise.

All rights reserved @strega.azure ©

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8 comments
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Nice choice for your triptych! :-) I like the colours and framing... I must say your pale friend looks decidedly Tudor hehe. I imagine that when you go from the intricate details and complexities of a still-life skeleton (hm... is that a bit redundant??) to a vase or a fruit for example... the latter choices must feel pretty mundane by comparison. With your interest in biology you must have missed your bony friend... but hey... you have a few now you could use for version 2.0.

!LUV !ALIVE

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Thank you! This thing was on the back of my head for a while. The model of the skeleton was probably as old the as my picture is old now :D You can see on the painting that the model was repaired with rusty wire, just to keep it in one piece for a little longer:) To be fair - I was the one to wrap a bit of fabric around his scull - the back of the head was missing, and I just saw the 'Girl with the pearl' - so yeah... there is period idea there!

Let's see... so Tudors, 15th - 16th century, Vermeer - died in the second half of 17th century... Very much like this, and I appreciate that you noticed. He had apple between his teeth too(I didn't got into enough details to actually properly show this). But idea with apple was from classic Dutch still-life's. Like my favourite Willem Claesz Heda - master of still-life's. He painted food so appetisingly that your mouth would start to watering by one glance of his artwork:)

Circle back to my bony friend - need an update! Plus I think I need to try to paint again, I very much miss that:)

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