Throwback to November 2024 | How does it feel like now?

The winter season is returning, and I am vividly reminded of November 2024—when I used to go out all alone.I have now returned from that city, and I still cherish the memories of it deeply.

I used to set out alone to explore things whenever there was no one else to accompany me. Often, I wished I had someone with me to make the memories even better, yet I didn't want to tie anyone down, nor did I want to be bound to anyone else. There are times when I want to linger and truly take in a place, but often, the other person doesn't view it with the same perspective I do; this clash of outlooks frequently becomes tedious, making me want to travel and wander alone—after all, a person is ultimately alone.

I remember standing there, watching those children and the Ferris wheel which we used to call the "Sky Swing" in our childhood, perhaps because it seemed to lift us to the heights of the sky, though in reality, it was just a name we gave it. I found myself thinking back to my childhood to the school trips where we would be so excited about riding that "Sky Swing," even while harboring a constant, nagging fear that I might fall off or get hurt. How quickly those days have flown by; it feels like only yesterday, yet so many years have passed, and now I am twenty-three years old.

I went to the park and sat near the children; watching them play in the sand and run their hands through it made me reflect on my own childhood :how I, too, used to play with other children. Although we didn't often get the chance to visit parks much often, we used to build sandcastles only to destroy them shortly after, or watch them wash away if water spilled on them. We would remain engrossed in such play. If I were given the chance to go back to these very days in November 2024, I would certainly want to take someone along so that I wouldn't have to sit alone. So much time has passed, and it feels as though there is no one to sit with me; I feel lonely, as if there is no one to talk to.

This picture is close to my heart, perhaps because of that trolley, now out of sight, resting in the shade of a tree. It used to be used for hauling loads, but now it seems to have been ignored and abandoned, much like how I sometimes feel myself.