Navigating the challenges of self perception and relationships.

This week's engagement topics got me doing some observations on my female friends because I didn't just want to crown my answer out here with just an observation on myself. In a time frame of two days while observing some beautiful girls in my department and girls in the hostel as well I realized that beautiful people tend to be highly egoistic. Beauty they say is in the eyes of the beholder but we GenZ's don't need no beholder to confirm our beauty as we go by "isn't it obvious?" Each compliment thrown at us gets an "I know response''. Rude? Haha.

With this thesis, I'll relate how beauty, ego and tragedy work hand in hand because I totally relate to these three abstract words.

I know there's a thing like inner beauty. This is a term for a person who is generous, has a kind heart and shows empathy towards others but we can't leave out the ones who are physically coated with beauty just because they have some challenges character wise. My main focus actually is on physical beauty and how it leads to ego and of course tragedy.

Revolving my story from personal experience.

I've been constantly reminded right from childhood by my parents that I am beautiful and these constant reminders stuck to my brain, mind and soul that each time I looked at myself in the mirror I saw nothing but beauty in person and this actually affected how I think and carry myself around. This was also noticed in the few females I placed my observation on in the course of carrying out my thesis.

We beautiful people tend to refuse to beg our love interests when a problem ensues because we feel that there are one and a thousand people out there ready to grab our ass if given a chance to do so. We feel we're doing the next person a favor by even responding to their greetings or having them as a friend. We always want to be in the spotlight and when we're not noticed, our ego feels trampled upon and shit hurts for real.

I have some beautiful friends who will never say please to anyone just because they feel they're doing the person a favor just by being in their life. I have displayed this attitude and won't leave it out by playing the good girl( I feel it's just youthful exuberance).

I almost lost my relationship because I felt pretty and was like "you can't even do without me" and I stormed out of the room instead of apologizing for my wrong deed. My ego had risen to its highest point and I felt everything should go my way because of course I am beautiful and lots of guys on my contacts were waiting for the slightest opportunity to be given a chance to love me. This made me feel I was doing my partner a favor so I acted in ways that seemed pleasant to me not considering his feelings. I never apologized no matter what. There's this girl slang among my peers that says; a pretty girl begs no man for love or anything no matter what.

This was my conviction till I tried and tested other waters then I figured that to stay in a relationship even as a beauty queen required part of my ego put aside. That ego that felt trampled on each time my conscience beat me to apologize for something whether I was wrong or not had to be put in check for me to maintain a good relationship with people. Not just with my love interest but with everyone around me.

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Tragedy struck when I didn't want to put my ego aside and do things right.

He didn't apologize neither did I. Obviously I was the one that did him wrong and he just wanted to teach me to do the needful and till date I'm grateful that someone put me in my place. If he came running back, maybe I'd still be acting abnormally.

It was the first time I faced trauma and it didn't look good on me. I expected him to apologize. J waited for days and to console myself I said "let him keep playing, someone else will take me away in no time" but his silence made me rethink my decision and standards. I went back to apologize to reclaim my relationship because he indeed is a good person and deserves to be treated right just as much as I do.

Apologizing and saying sorry didn't take beauty away from me. He even compliments me more than my dad does. Lol. He makes me feel right and humbled me somehow even though sometimes I still pull some girl stunts on him. He totally understands me and hasn't drowned my ego but taught me never to use beauty as a veil to be mean and proud.

People love an egoistic person who is beautiful and smart but hate those who misunderstand/misuse their ego and beauty which of course always leads to tragedy.

I learnt my lesson the hard way I'll say because nothing felt good at that moment. We still go by our slang btw. It helps keep some things in check.

My theory to live better in this world is;show true beauty inwardly and outwardly, be nice but don't be too nice✨.