The Price of Silence

The image is AI generated

There are certain things we only truly learn to appreciate once they are no longer part of our lives, mainly because when a thing is within our reach, we tend to believe there’s always going to be another opportunity to say what should be said, make that call, settle that disagreement, or let that person know we care.

There is a unique way Life teaches us through loses, and most happens when it's too late to undo anything.

Think about this: what happens when a person dies? Suddenly, friends who might not have spoken to that person in months are sharing photos and fond memories, and those who might have had disagreements with that individual are posting long tributes and sharing how wonderful he was and how much he will be missed.

We write, “Rest in peace, you were a good person,” post on Facebook and the post receives countless likes and comments, but when the person was alive and well, we let their phone calls go unanswered, held a grudge against them, over issues not worth fighting about, and let our pride keep us at bay. We save our affection for funeral tributes. We wait for someone to die to offer them the words they needed when they were still among us.

Moreover, it’s not only death that this kind of human characteristic are exhibited. Sometimes people become invisible in our eyes because of changes in circumstances. When someone becomes successful, everyone comes around to congratulate them. We celebrate the new home, the new car, the promotion, the business success, and all other achievements.

But as soon as that same person lose their jobs, their business failed or not able to pay bills, suddenly everyone gets busy. Calls drop, no more invitation, and those who were trying to get close when things went well distance themselves when hardship sets in. We are close to people when they are successful but shy away from hardship.

I believe this is something we should seriously evaluate about ourselves, for life is never a smooth ride; some seasons are conducive for things to go your way, and other seasons are challenging, pushing you to simply survive. The person whom you celebrate today may be the same person who may need a helping hand tomorrow. And while someone you shun today as a struggle may eventually recover and achieve success, even if not, they are still human beings who deserve respect and love.

It seems that in some situations, we love people only when they are rich, accomplished, or dead, for when we are rich, everyone gravitates towards us, when we succeed, others celebrate with us, and when we die, we are all suddenly remembered as significant. But when we are somewhere between, enduring adversity, experiencing failure, recovering, and trying to find our way back, that's when life become a silent journey.

What a life we live in, it's fascinating indeed, how we ignore people because of their circumstances and wait for funeral eulogies to express what could have been said over dinner. We anticipate death as the reminder to forgive and wait for absence as the motivation to cherish closeness.

Perhaps it is time we change this. Call that person you have been avoiding, check in on your friend going through a tough time, connect with the aspiring entrepreneur whose venture is facing difficulties, and tell your loved ones what they mean to you while they are still here to hear it. Because writing a moving tribute to someone, long after they are gone, carries a painful weight, especially when you had the opportunity to convey those powerful words whilst they were alive.