The Covid Generation | Our Children's School Life & Social Skills

The covid generation

I don't know if this is an official term or not, but I bet there will be a stamp labeling the children of today as the covid generation. It's no rocket science to understand that the pandemic and all the restrictions due to it are causing serious problems to adults, but even more so for the children. The difference is probably that in the case of our children, it will take some time to come to the surface until we understand that they have fallen behind at school and social skills.

Adults can express their feelings

I know it's not always easy, and many people are struggling to speak up about feelings. But at least you could find the right words or expressions for your feelings, and if you have issues expressing them by talking you can write them down. Children, on the other hand, don't have their vocabulary yet and often can't turn to write either. They also don't understand that some sort of behavior comes forward due to certain emotions they're feeling. We can talk about it with our children, but when the pressure is up for the whole family, this is not as easy as before either.

Babies seeing masked adults

One of the things that have never left my mind since the pandemic started, is seeing mothers with babies in strollers looking up at their mom being masked. Often the eyes were barely visible, and then I saw the baby trying to make contact while looking around to see if anyone would give a non-verbal response. Unfortunately for her, nobody did. Everyone was minding their own business (read: looking at their phone). I always tried to smile with my eyes and make contact so the baby felt less confused and noticed someone was paying attention.

Most mothers didn't even seem to realize that babies truly need to see people's facial expressions as part of their growing up. Whenever I encountered this situation in public transport, my heart broke. I even said that I would not even consider bringing another child into this world if this is how it should be. It changed when I got pregnant by surprise, but after my miscarriage, I'm not too sure that I want to give that another try.

Experienced parents will be more aware of the effects this has on their children

I wonder how much this newborn generation is affected after this pandemic trouble is over. They may have lost the first most important years of their lives, not learning the things we all take for granted. You may have never realized that it makes a huge difference if you are smiling and being silly to your baby while nowadays while going for a walk this tiny human won't even see your facial expressions during your precious walk outside. Imagine being that baby. I think new parents just go with the current flow, and not give that too much thought (not all of them at least), while parents that already experienced the process before will be more aware of the difference as they tend to compare the children's growing up and stages of life. We can't see the long-term effects yet, but short-term, definitely.

Not an easy start at the kindergarten even without the pandemic

When the pandemic arrived, our daughter was in her first year at kindergarten. This experience was already a struggle as we live in a country where we don't speak the language. Normally, kids will pick this up quickly just by being around people that speak the other language. This would have probably gone much smoother if we weren't facing her being ill constantly. She didn't only catch every cold/flu out there (partially due to hygiene at previous kindergarten), but also had constant ear infections. She needed tubes in her ears and something with her nostrils that needed to be removed. We had to wait 9 months until the surgery, which took place in July 2020. Afterward, we could say that the next winter was easier and at least her ears weren't causing as much trouble as during her first year.

In her first year, I think she spends 4 months in total at the kindergarten. Partially due to the kindergarten being closed for a while but the rest was caused by her falling ill constantly.

Runny noses & coughs

If this first year would have been the only failure, it would have been (probably) easy to overcome. But on top of that, missing out on that year, she also missed out on learning things a child that age needs to learn. The next year I was determined to change schools, which was not an easy task (unless you pay jackpot for private schooling), but I managed to get it done and she went to a school where they spend a big part of the year outside in their big play garden. A great choice and the class assistant speaks some English, so she's her go-to when she can't understand something.

The downside of every school is that when children have a runny nose or cough, they can't attend. Now, this is something that frustrated me a lot during the second year as the child kept bringing home coughs and a snotty nose! So that meant another year of schooling due to a lot of absence. Only one of these times probably was covid btw, out of all the times we fell ill, there was just one time that I lost smell and taste and was super ill for several weeks, therefore I knew that I had covid for sure.

Slightly less strict

By now I noticed that more children are present when they have a bit of a runny nose and also some of the teachers are present while not feeling 100% well, but keeping their distance, etc. So far, at this kindergarten, there has been no outbreak of covid so I guess they are doing a good job. Last week my daughter started to cough and I wasn't sure if she'd fall ill, so I canceled her lunches on Friday and Monday, we stayed home mostly (all of us), and thankfully nothing happened, she went back today. I do take my responsibility and make sure we take precautions.

She's defo behind compared to other generation 5-year-olds

She will be turning 6 this school year and is still so far behind in her learning and social skills due to this situation. We can't predict exactly which restrictions are going to be here during the winter and we can't control the flu-like symptoms flying around during winter. I wish we could go back to that moment where a child can go to school when they have a runny nose, cough but isn't seriously ill/feverish.

It's good to protect others, but what about their immunity system!

Having to stay in during lockdowns or when a member in the family has symptoms is a great solution for a short period of time, but we probably all know by now that in the longer term, it's not helping our immune systems at all. In fact, it's killing the resistance we've built and it's like we have to start over each fall when the previous year is repeating itself again.

Add to that a child that's refusing to eat most veggies and fruit unless it's coming in the form of a smoothie and you can now say you have a worried parent.

Prepping our emigration

It's not good for a child to keep moving around, but we've been so super unhappy in this country wanting to move for a few years but seeing no options (mainly due to pandemics and finances). Of course, this decision wasn't made overnight but took many long nights weighing pros and cons. One of the things that I'm guarding for is to make sure that our daughter's transition will be as smooth as possible. Meaning, that in this case, I can actually help her learn some basic school-needed Spanish as I love the language and can have a normal conversation in Spanish myself. Something that I haven't been able to do in Hungarian, I can understand some things, but it's not even worth mentioning. This language is so hard and although I was very motivated upon arrival, I've given up. It's not worth my time as next year when we leave the country, we will never need the language again anyway.

Finding the right school for her

I've already been looking for some schools and collecting their data. Soon I will start contacting them and asking them for advice on how to proceed when we don't know our moving date exactly yet, and if we can register and how to do so, etc. I will try to build a relationship online upfront and hopefully find the best option for her. If needed. I'm even considering sending her to a private school. I do believe it would be in her best interest to attend a school where they speak Spanish to pick up the language quicker. This time I'm not hunting for the English schools like I was here (until I found out how much that would cost, haha). It will be better for her to at least get 50% of her lessons in Spanish, so that makes my search for the school a bit easier.

I had to make a decision to make her days at the kindergarten a bit easier

As she is failing to understand part of the things at the kindergarten, I asked her teacher's assistant who always helps me translate things if she knew a tutor that can help her. Not to learn the grammar stuff of the language but to at least speak the basics she needs during her days at the kindergarten. She didn't know anyone but she offered to help her, so I offered her a paying job for 3 to 4 hours a week after she finishes work. Our daughter loves her and even though her English isn't perfect, she knows the roundabouts at school and struggles of my daughter and it's not about the grammar anyway. If she can speak and make herself understood, the rest will follow. Too bad this month means she has to work longer days, so it will take another two weeks before they can start.

Grateful for her help

Our experiences with the people here haven't been all sunshine and roses. In fact, there have been a lot more negative experiences if I'm brutally honest. Which is the main reason for us to want to leave and not waste another year here. I feel this school year is such a waste for my daughter as she's now dealing with a language she will never use again after we leave. It's sad, but we just couldn't make it happen anytime sooner. We need funds to be able to move our stuff, plane tickets, funds for rent, etc. I'm very happy that at least during our last year, there have been positive experiences like this one, where locals offer their help. I'm very grateful for that and I'm sure it will make the negative stuff fade to the background a bit.

This girl has always been my translator for every single document I had to read and sign regarding our daughter's presence at the kindergarten. She did it without asking for any payment, so when she offered to help my daughter, I offered to pay her an amount per hour that's more than her hourly wage. I know teachers get paid badly, I can only assume her salary is even lower as an assistant. So I guess as long as we can keep up with this language tutoring, we will do so and help her out financially a bit as well while she makes our child's life easier. Win-win!

Can't wait for this burden to fall off my shoulders

Living here really feels like a burden, especially during the winter months, it all looks very depressing and it adds to the feelings of not being at home nor feeling like we can make our dreams come true here. It's all a bit no for us both, and we want more for our daughter as well. Maybe without even realizing it, I've been blocked inside, as it feels like I'm stuck here for another period of time without wanting to be here. This weighs on you and it's now quite clear that we have to pull every string possible to leave during the spring at the earliest. Thankfully, positive and very cool things are happening and I feel it in every cell of my body, that this is just the beginning. I know there will be an abundance of everything we need to make this move a reality. II should take a moment to actually feel this more often because when I do, I feel happy and zen inside. I feel like home is closer than it felt in a long time.

I can only hope that our daughter will feel the good vibes

And be motivated to give it some extra attention to learn Spanish with me. I will do that in a fun way using the Duolingo app. I just don't want to do it just yet because she already hears 2, sometimes 3 languages now and I really don't want her to get more confused than she already is. I'm going to give it my all to learn Spanish and get a level higher now, as I'm considering speaking Spanish at home with her once we're settled there. It would be good for her to keep talking Spanish at home and school, to pick it up faster. This is something we couldn't do here for her, so I'm determined to do it right this time.

I will probably enjoy this so much, that I will continue doing so even when it's not needed anymore. I love the sound of the language, it makes me happy and nostalgic. I don't care a bit about my mother tongue, I speak it at home for my boyfriend and daughter but if it were up to me, I'd speak English all day, and next year switch to Spanish. That's probably the best way to feel like a local in the end. I feel the need to blend in, maybe more than ever now that living here was such a different experience. It feels like we have some catching up to do, and we're all looking forward to it so it seems.

It's time to do a little research about the bureaucratic things we need to do before leaving and upon arrival so I will end this long read here and thanks for stopping by!

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